You Save Me
by BLIvorySS
Summary: Something is wrong with Beast Boy. His powers are on the fritz and his emotions are causing Raven to lose control. As Beast Boy's world starts to spin out of control, his friends discover a side of him that he swore they'd never see.BBxRae Enjoy! Liss
1. Hidden Talents

_Okay, so this is my first ever fanfic. Ever. It's not the first story I've ever written, nor will it be the last, so hopefully it's not too painful to read. The tough part about writing already existing characters is that everybody has a different opinion on what they think those characters should act like. That is the greatest difficulty, and I tried my best to be accurate to the characters, but just remember that this is my take on the Titans, so they might not be exactly what you'd expect._

_Since this is my first fanfic, I'd really appreciate some feedback. Constructive criticism would be best, but if you're in a really bad mood and feel the urge to be mean, flame on, I don't really care. _

_A few notes:_

_1. I DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT own any of the characters or place names from the show or comic the Teen Titans. Oh, and if there are rights for David and Goliath, I don't own them either. Or any biblical figures for that matter. _

_2. I'm rating this story T, because I'm still not sure how violent I'll need to get. I don't think you can expect anything really disturbing, but I'll portray fights with realistic consequences, so be prepared. Oh, and also, any swearing found in this chapter will be the worst that it gets. I don't think that you can write a story with teenagers as your main characters and not include a few curses, but I'm not going to drop any F-bombs on you!_

_3. For any major comic book fans, a few details may be changed from the DC comics as to the characters histories, but I am aware of those changes. I did my research, so I pretty much know exactly what each of the characters has been through in their comic-book lives. I just took some artistic license._

_Anywho, there you go, I'll stop blathering now. If you're not too bored already, enjoy reading the first chapter of my story! And, if you like it (or don't like it), feel free, nay, feel encouraged to post a review!_

_-Liss_

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**Chapter One. Hidden Talents.**

**Symptoms.**

'Trouble,' Robin said grimly over the alert sirens that were ringing through the tower.

'Where?' Raven, who had been making herbal tea in the kitchen, asked monotonously. Starfire hovered behind her, gazing at the the giant computer screen that now displayed a map of the city.

'Just outside of town, by the old quarry. It's Cinderblock,' replied Robin, already heading out the door and to the garage.

'Aww man,' came a loud groan from the couch, 'How many times are we gonna have to beat that guy?' Cyborg complained, furiously pounding at his controller as he raced Beast Boy on their new game station. Beast Boy took advantage of his opponents momentary distraction by swiftly reaching over and disconnecting his controller.

'As many times as he threatens the city,' Robin paused long enough to snap at Cyborg. Sighing, Cyborg switched off the game station, eliciting an angry yelp from the small green Titan perched on the arm of the couch.

'C'mon B, we'll just have to have a rematch.' Grumbling, Beast Boy leaped off the edge of the couch and followed his friends to the bottom of the tower. Just before he reached the stairs, a sickening wave of dizziness swept over him. The room started spinning and it felt like he wasn't touching the ground anymore. Reaching out for something to steady him, he stumbled headfirst into the very hard metal that was his best friend's back.

'Are you okay man?' the metallic giant asked. Beast Boy leaned against the wall for a moment, until the dizziness passed.

'Dude, I'm fine,' he grinned up at Cyborg, 'You're just moving too slow. No wonder I beat you in every racing game ever invented! Hurry up!' With a laugh the changeling ran around his friend and sprinted down the stairs to the T-Car.

'Yeah, only because you cheat, ya little-' Beast Boy didn't hear the end of Cyborg's rant. When he reached the garage he checked to see if anybody was there, hoping that nobody would see that he was panicking. Robin had already left, and he'd passed the girls on his way down. Just as well, Raven could always tell when there was something wrong with him. He couldn't hide anything from that girl.

The dizziness may have passed, but not the feeling of dread that had come with it. He didn't want his friends to think that he was weak, that he couldn't fight. As he opened the door to the T-Car, he felt a hand tap him on the shoulder. Turning around, he saw Starfire standing behind him, smiling widely.

'Will you not fly with us today, friend Beast Boy?' she asked him, indicating herself and Raven, 'We could partake in the racing of one another, and perhaps you...' She stopped as Beast Boy shook his head.

'Not today Star. I'm kind of tired, late night last night. Hehe, I should really start getting more sleep,' he gave her a toothy grin, 'Besides, I didn't get to bug Cy much this morning, have to make up for lost time.'

He got in the car and slammed the door abruptly, not wanting her to see his panic. He'd been experiencing periods of dizziness for about a week now, although never as bad as what had just occurred, and was terrified as to what it might mean.

**Smothered.**

Raven could sense Starfire's confusion at Beast Boy's refusal to fly. She was a little confused herself. Beast Boy loved to fly, and had never before turned down an offer to race against the beautiful Tamaranian, even though he always lost. She would never admit it, but Raven enjoyed watching the two carefree Titans wheeling chaotically though the sky, and knew that Beast Boy lived for those moments in the air. Raven would never admit to enjoying anything. Or fearing anything. She had a hard enough time admitting to herself that she had found friends in the Titans.

In Starfire, she had found 'one with which to share the girl talk', should the desire ever strike her. Thus far, much to Star's chagrin, it hadn't. Raven had no need to confide in anybody. She had nothing to confide. At least, not anything that anybody would want her to share with them. No one would want to help her shoulder her burdens, and she would never thrust them upon anybody. But it was comforting to know that if she ever wanted to share her 'feelings' with anybody, Star was there for her.

In Cyborg, she had found an intelligent and stimulating conversationalist - at least when he wasn't wasting his time and rotting his mind with the stupid video games that he and Beast Boy seemed to enjoy so much. For the life of her, she couldn't understand how the two (and occasionally Robin) extracted so much pleasure from such ridiculous endeavours. Oh well, she could allow Cyborg the occasional lapse in sanity without judging him too harshly for it. He was a cool and level headed thinker, both in and out of battle, and was both a vital and welcome member of the team.

In Robin, she had found a leader, pure and simple. Somebody who would help her under any circumstances. Somebody who she could trust, no matter what.

In Beast Boy, she had found an annoyance. He pestered her constantly with attempts to draw her out of her 'shell' as most people would say. At times, he was more than a nuiscance to her, he was a danger. Raven could not afford to feel. Feeling led to the loss of control. She had to be steady.

This gave people the impression that she was 'dark', which she thought was absurd. She saw herself more as grey. Her world, her emotions, her very essence, was washed in grey, absent of any colour. That was the way it had to be. She could not allow any colour to come through the veil. She could not feel sorrow, or loss, or fear, or anger. Nor could she feel joy, or embarrassment, or mirth, or...no, she could not even let herself think of _that_.

But sometimes, it was nice to imagine being able to feel. Being able to...

No.

Raven continued to ponder Beast Boy's odd behaviour as she and Starfire flew above the T-Car and R-Cycle through the streets of Jump City. She could feel his emotions rising up towards her, a mixture of fear, anxiety, sadness, and something that she couldn't quite place. Raven always knew how the rest of the Titans were feeling, but Beast Boy was the only one who continually perplexed her.

Robin's inner calm matched his demeanour, unless either Starfire or Slade became involved, which Raven could understand, but still deemed as pointless.

Cyborg was generally a fairly easygoing guy, except for his occasional moody periods, and even then, you didn't need to be an empath to tell he was in a bad mood.

Starfire was the easiest person to read. She was a bundle of pure, raw emotion and never held anything back. What she portrayed to the world was exactly who she was.

But Beast Boy...

Beast Boy was a mystery. Much of the time he was as happy inside as he appeared to the rest of them, but there were times that Raven sensed a deep and terrible sadness within him as he laughed and joked. But never before had she sensed this kind of fear coming from him. This fear was the kind of fear that had no direction, it was a fear of the unknown.

The adventurous green Titan had never emitted anything like this before. Usually, no matter what he was feeling inside, there was one thing that Raven could always count on, and that was his perpetual, irrepressable spark of – hope, she guessed.

Although Beast Boy was unpredictable, this was unwavering, this Raven could rely on when all else failed. This was more constant than any single thing in her life. When she felt like she would break, like she would suffocate under the veil of grey, all she had to do was reach out for the fire that she'd always known would be there, inside him. Now though...it was gone. Try as she might, Raven did not feel any warmth coming from her friend-only cold fear. This drastic change in his usual self was almost overwhelming to her.

'Beast Boy, what is wrong with you?' she muttered softly to herself.

Far below her, a single window turned black and shattered.

**Sense and scents.**

'Where is he?' Cyborg asked as he stepped out on the T-Car.Robin pulled up in the R-Cycle and gazed around the quarry.

'Well he was here a few minutes ago, he can't be far,' he said, trying in vain to catch a glimpse of the enormous walking rock, 'He shouldn't be that hard to find.'

Beast Boy squinted and scanned the horizon with eyes sharper than any normal humans'. His delicately pointed ears pricked, tuned to pick up the slightest noise and he sniffed the air for a trace of Cinderblock's chalky scent.

As he strained to catch any hint of the villain, a familiar scent drifted towards him. He breathed in deeply, sighing with satisfaction. This was his favourite smell in the world. It was ancient parchments saturated with deep knowledge. It was burning, crackling, electric power. It was a clear bubbling river. It was sweet and mysterious, like the African flowers that his father had studied so long ago. It was the scent that heralded the arrival of Raven.

He turned his senses back to finding Cinderblock with some difficulty, but continued to daydream about the pale titan who was levitating above him. She was so strange, so foreign to him. She hardly ever laughed, rarely smiled. But God, when she did! What a smile, what a laugh, a laugh to rival his own joyous one. It was enough to make him spend every spare moment trying to coax that laugh out of her. Sometimes he almost wished he could go back in Raven's mind to hang out with her Happy side for a while. Happy Raven was so much fun. And Brave Raven was so wicked awesome!

Beast Boy was jerked out of his thoughts by a slight movement in the corner of his vision. His ears automatically twitched in the direction of the movement, and he could hear a rumbling in the distance. He touched his hand lightly to the ground. From the vibrations, Cinderblock was about three miles to the west.

'Well this was a waste of time,' Cyborg grumbled from inside the T-Car.

'He's that way,' Beast Boy stated with a wry grin and a wink at Raven, pointing towards the now setting sun.

**Maybe.**

Raven glanced up, surprised at the speed with which Beast Boy had located Cinderblock.

_How does he do that?_ She wondered, almost frustrated. Raven had just begun to sense Cinderblocks presence somewhere to the west when the green shapeshifter had confidently proclaimed the exact direction that they had to go. Beast Boy always noticed things before anybody else did, even her.

Maybe she'd ask him about that someday.

And then he'd winked at her. Her throat, much to her dismay, had closed off slightly at this, and her pulse had sped a little. She took a moment to center herself after this unexpected burst of emotion. Forcefully, she replaced the veil, washed her mind in grey again. Why had he winked at her? Why had it caused a burst of colour to escape within her?

Maybe she'd find out...someday.

In the meantime, she was relieved to find that Beast Boy was, for the most part, in a better mood than he had been on the ride to the quarry. The coldness was almost gone, and the spark, though small, practically just and ember, had returned. There were only traces of the fear that had threatened to consume the young changeling and Raven with him only moments before. She was amazed by how quickly he'd pushed his emotions aside once it was time to get to work.

_Why? You know how much emotion he hides from all of us every single day. Why are you so surprised that he is able to hide his emotions from himself?_

Maybe she'd ask him about it someday.

**Fallen.**

They came upon Cinderblock as he was trashing the remains of several abandoned railway cars, presumably looking for something.

'So Cinderblock-uh-er,' Robin stuttered, searching for an appropriate opening remark to commence their battle, 'Umm….Titans, go!' Beast Boy let out a short burst of laughter at this before turning into a peregrine falcon and shooting off into the sky. The team had been together for so long that they knew exactly what the small green bird was planning.

'Keep his eyes off the sky!' shouted Cyborg, running madly towards the monster, shooting blasts from his sonic cannon as he went. Starfire and Raven obeyed, settling to the ground as they assaulted Cinderblock together with a thick jet of green and black energy.

Beast Boy flew upwards as fast as he could, all the while silently laughing to himself. _Who would have thought that Boy Wonder would ever run out of things to say? _If birds could smile, this one would have been. As he began his descent, he continued chuckling to himself, but for a different reason. _Dude, that lump of clay won't know what hit him! _With this thought in mind, he shut his eyes and focussed on becoming a sperm whale, and giggled to himself, a little immaturely, about the name of the creature. He felt himself growing bigger and opened his eyes. As he spiralled towards the ground, he let out a whoop of exhilaration. Then he let out a startled cry.

'Whales can't talk!!!' he screamed. He twisted his head around to see that he definitely wasn't a whale. Unless-had whales suddenly started wearing black and purple spandex? Nope, and they definitely didn't have pointy ears and green hair. _Ok, bird, bird, any bird! Owl! Nope, uh, sparrow! Nope! Ladybug? Oh, shit, this is gonna hurt._

Robin heard a startled yelp coming from far above him as he battled furiously with Cinderblock. He spared a quick glance upwards and saw that Beast Boy was plummeting towards the earth in his human form.

"Starfire! Get Beast Boy!" he shouted, hoping that Star would understand his seemingly nonsensical order. Confused, the young alien looked up and with a gasp of alarm, took to the air. Robin turned back to Cinderblock and lunged at him, knowing that Star had everything under control.

**Opportune Moments.**

'Beast Boy, you are unharmed?' Starfire had caught his left wrist as he plummeted towards the ground, and was now dangling him by the same arm at eye level.

'Other than my arm being out of it's socket, I'm great,' he exagerated. Starfire let out a small 'eep' and hastily readjusted him so that she was holding him as though he was a baby.

_Well this is totally and utterly and insanely embarrassing._ Beast Boy knew that he still had a teeny, tiny window of opportunity to come out of this not looking like a complete jackass.

'Star! Listen, I need you to throw me!'

'I don't understand-'

'You know, that twirly, throwy thingy that you and Robin always do! Throw me at Cinderblock!' Beast Boy was desparate. His window was disappearing. He had to do something, even if it meant doing the thing that he swore he'd never do as a Titan.

'But, Beast Boy, you were just now unable to change forms-'

'JUST DO IT!!' he roared, startling the powerful alien. She had never seen Beast Boy so aggravated, except for after his fight with Adonis.

'I'm sorry, Star. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. Just-just please do this- for me? Trust me, I'm fine,' he pleaded, instantly regretting shouting at her. Starfire looked at him suspiciously. Unable to find any trace of the rage that she had witnessed when he became the Beast, she did as he asked her and sent him flying towards Cinderblock.

**David and Goliath.**

The Titans weren't losing.

They certainly weren't winning either.

With Starfire and Beast Boy gone from the fray, Raven knew that the remaining members of the team wouldn't be able to do anything but hold Cinderblock back. She didn't know what had happened, but she had heard a startled yell from above her and felt a surge of disbelief and some fear from the same direction. Then Robin had shouted for Starfire to get Beast Boy. After that, the fear was gone, but the disbelief continued. Raven also sensed extreme embarassement coming from him, and felt herself beginning to blush.

_Damnit!_ She yelled internally. _Why do his stupid emotions affect me so much?!_ She cursed herself silently for not being able to control herself better than this. Distracted, she was sent flying by a vicious punch into Cyborg. The two landed in a heap far away from Cinderblock and Robin. Their masked teammate landed next to them a few moments later.

'Ok then. Is it just me, or has he been working out?' Cyborg asked, disentangling himself from Raven's cloak. Robin stood up, grimacing as his sore muscles protested. He shook his head violently like a dog shakes after a bath, sending dust flying everywhere.

'More like he's been taking some pretty heavy doses of steroids,' their leader grumbled, helping the two fallen Titans to their feet. They began running back towards the battle when they were stopped dead in their tracks by an incredible sight. A green, purple, and black object was hurtling towards Cinderblock with astounding speed. The object collided with Cinderblocks head, and promptly leapt away as the monster fell. As four Titans watched in amazment, three from the ground and one from the sky, the small figure took on the giant rock of an opponent, leaping and twisting gracefully in and out of harm's way. The 'David' of the picture would dart through 'Goliath's' legs, swing over the giants back, strike over a dozen blows, and be gone before 'Goliath' could even think about retaliating.

'Is that-' Robin began.

'No way,' Cyborg spluttered.

'It is,' Raven said, her normal monotone tainted by the disbelief that showed through in her words.

Robin gazed on in wonder. He had never, ever, in his entire life, seen unarmed fighting of this calibre. It was like watching a dancer, the movements were so fluid and-well, beautiful. The small fighter was an artist, and a master at his art.

From high above the battle, Starfire could hardly contain her glee. She had never felt worse in her life than the instant she'd let go of Beast Boy's hand. She shouldn't have let him convince her to do that, she should have flown him to safety, she'd know that there was something wrong with him, why had she-and then she had seen that she had done exactly the right thing, that her friend could take care of himself.

Cyborg just stared, dumbfounded, at the spectacle before him. That couldn't be – No way was that – Naahhh. Nope. Had to be somebody else. But who else was green? Who else wore purple and black spandex?

As Raven watched, Cinderblock slowly fell to his knees, unable to withstand so many hits. And not just small hits, either. Every blow that Beast Boy struck was hard enough to send a regular person to the ground. She was amazed that the small Titan's arms and legs weren't numb from basically pounding on a brick wall. Beast Boy nimbly darted away from Cinderblock's mighty fist and pounced back at him, moving like all of the large cats that he so often became. With a mighty crash that brought her and the others to their senses, Cinderblock was down.

And when the dust settled, a small green figure clad in purple and black could be seen scuffing one shoe in the dirt, eyes downcast in embarrassement.


	2. Her Eyes Are Closed

_I've got to say that I was pretty nervous at first about posting a story on the internet, but I'm really glad that I did. I've had nothing but positive feedback, including a few really helpful tips. This chapter was harder for me to write, maybe because it's so bloody cold here in Manitoba right now. I'm writing this with the aid of a scarf, sweater, gloves, and some very hot chocolate. Brrr._

_If anybody's wondering where the title of the chapter came from, it's part of a quote of Albert Einstein (which I don't own, by the way) that goes as follows: "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." _

_I really liked this quote and I thought it suited the chapter._

_Anyways, thanks again for reading everybody, and especially for reviewing!! Please keep it up guys!_

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****Chapter Two. Her Eyes Are Closed.**

_Why, why whywhywhy WHY did you do that!?? You idiot. You moron. You couldn't just be embarassed and let Star rescue you. You had to be a show off. You had to be an idiot stupid moron idiot moron. Stupid jerk. Idiot. _

As soon as Star had released him, he'd felt a pang of regret at his decision. Beast Boy had never intended for the Titans to see him fight as a human. He had never expected to have to. He'd sworn never to let them find out about-well anything really. They'd found out more than he'd wanted them to when they were forced to fight the Brotherhood of Evil alongside the Doom Patrol. Now they would have to find out more. There was no way they'd just let this go. There'd be questions, and he'd have to answer them.

All of his worries had vanished the instant that he had come in contact with Cinderblock. It had been years since he had last trained for hand to hand combat, and he was unsure of his ability to take on Cinderblock, but he at least had to try. As soon as he began combat, muscles he'd forgotten existed tightened reflexivly, moves that he'd practiced hundreds of times came back to him with an ease that surprised him. This was natural, this was what he was made for. This was the ability that he'd been born with. Given the choice, he'd always fight as an animal, but the choice was no longer his. If he wanted to help his friends, he'd have to rely on skills that he'd been perfecting since he was a small child living in Africa.

Now he stood beside the prone form of Cinderblock, berating himself for his foolish choice. He didn't have to do it. If Starfire had joined the fray, the four remaining Titans could have easily taken their opponent down.

Oh well. He'd done it. There was nothing he could do to change that fact. He'd just have to face his friends, and it looked like he'd have to face them soon. They had been watching him from a distance during the whole fight, he knew that. They were still just watching him. What would they say? Beast Boy hung his head, trying to avoid looking at them and kicked at the dusty ground.

As he waited for them to approach, he did a quick assessment of his injuries. His left shoulder was throbbing from when Star had caught him. Rolling it back cautiously to determine the extent of the damage, he guessed that he had been lucky and just strained the muscle, rather than dislocate his shoulder. His forearms and hands were slightly numb from his fight with Cinderblock, but other than that, the only thing wrong with him was the fact that he was out of breath.

_I guess I've gotten pretty out of shape,_ he thought, remembering how many hours he used to train to be able to do what he had just done.

Far above him, Starfire was singing what was supposed to be a joyous Tamaranian victory song, which sounded more like the death throes of a buffalo. The other three had started walking towards him and his fallen foe, similar looks of incredulity on their faces.

Suddenly he felt a second wave of dizziness wash over him. This time, with nothing near to support him, he fell to his hands and knees and pressed his forehead to the ground to wait out the nausea. His head was pounding and it felt like his brain was made of liquid. It seemed like his stomach was trying to crawl up his throat, and a loud buzzing in his ears drowned out all other sounds. He didn't hear his teammates shouting his name.

Starfire was the first one there, gentle hands pulling him to his feet. As she lifted him, the dizziness faded as swiftly as it had come to him, leaving him alone to face four very concerned friends.

"You are damaged Beast Boy?" Star asked him, still supporting him with one arm. He shook her off, trying his best to act nonchalant.

"I'm fine," he said meekly.

Four sets of raised eyebrows were his only answer to that.

"Seriously, I'm fine," he said more forcefully this time, "I just-uh, tripped. On that rock over-um, well it's, uh it's gone...now, it's gone. Yeah. I tripped over it. I'm fine."

Four sets of eyebrows were dangerously close to disappearing forever from thier owners' faces.

"I'm fine," he repeated for a third time, hoping that they'd believe him, "Totally undamaged, Star." He jokingly flexed his biceps to prove the point.

"Your hand's cut," Raven pointed to his left hand. Beast Boy hadn't noticed that the glove had been torn to shreds, and the knuckles were raw and bloody. Raven reached out to heal them, but he jerked his hand away from her, hiding it behind his back.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it," he spoke through clenched teeth. Normally he would have let her heal the injury, but there was a reason he wore gloves. He didn't want anybody to see...

"It's not a big deal. I can heal your hand," Raven said, and a blue light began to shine from her fingertips. She sounded more emotionless than usual, if that was possible.

"I said don't worry about it. Can we please just go home?" Beast Boy snapped.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Robin interupted, "You can't just-do _that_," he indicated Cinderblock's fallen form, "and expect us not to notice. That was amazing, Beast Boy."

"Oh, I agree," Starfire proclaimed happily, "Never before have I witnessed such a magnificent display of combat, not even from the Warlords of Okaara!" She was positively beaming, and seeing that Beast Boy was not harmed, scooped him up in a bone-crushing hug.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" Robin asked as Starfire set the green (now slightly blue from lack of air) Titan back on the ground.

"Can we just go home? Please?" Beast Boy avoided the question, mentally adding bruised ribs to his list of injuries. He met his leader's eyes, pleading silently. Robin nodded, dropping the subject in an unspoken agreement.

"Cyborg, alert the police that we have a criminal for them to apprehend at the quarry. Raven, Starfie, tie him down, we don't want him waking up and attacking again. Beast Boy, you and I will take a look through the mines. I doubt it, but somebody could be down there. Then we're going home," Robin directed, and after a moments hesitation, the Titans set off to complete the tasks that had been set to them.

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**It had all been done within fifteen minutes. By the time Beast Boy and Robin had returned from the mineshaft, the police were already there, and the Titans headed home. 

Once more, Raven found herself deep in thought as she flew alongside Star through Jump City. Over and over, she pictured Beast Boy falling to the ground after the fight. Over and over, she remembered how her heart stopped for an instant, how her breath caught in her throat, how her entire body froze and her mind went numb.

Why?

Why did she feel in that instant as though she would burst, as though she would dissolve, as though she would be torn apart? Why had she felt more in that moment than she had in her entire life?

She tried to recall exactly what she'd been thinking. Had she thought that he was injured from the battle with Cinderblock? Had she thought that he was...dead?

No. She couldn't have.

Maybe she had. For that one split second, perhaps she had thought that she was losing a friend, a fellow Titan. That was why she'd been so upset. She would have been that upset if she'd thought that Robin was dead. Or Starfire, or Cyborg.

That was the reason. That was the reason that for an instant, she had become unguarded. The reason that for one moment, the veil had been lifted completely, and the color behind it had very nearly swept her away.

When she'd replaced the veil, it was even stronger than before. She couldn't afford to ever let that happen, couldn't let herself feel that much ever again. She had barely kept her powers from destroying everything around her as it was. If it happened again...she didn't know what would happen. She would never let herself find out.

Robin and Cyborg had both broken into a run before Beast Boy had hit the ground. Seconds after he had, Starfire had gently lifted him to his feet and all of the Titans had surrounded them. As Beast Boy had explained to them about tripping over a rock or some nonsense, Raven had felt the same cold fear emanating from him as before.

But there was something else this time. The burning, painful emotion was akin to shame, Raven thought. Now, soaring above the T-Car, she wondered if he was embarrassed at what he had done. And if he was, why? Why would he be ashamed of the fact that he was the best fighter any of the Titans had ever seen? Why hadn't he ever fought like that before?

Then there was the fact that he hadn't let her heal his hand. He'd pulled it away as though her touch would burn him. She'd healed him plenty of times before, what was so different about this time?

What was he hiding?

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**As soon as they returned to the tower, Beast Boy retreated to his room. He sat at his desk for a long time, ignoring all of the knocks on his door. 

First Robin rapped on the door, asking if Beast Boy wanted to train with him. Beast Boy ignored him until he heard the masked Titan walking quietly away. Then it was Cyborg who was pounding on his door, demanding an explanation for his sudden warrior status. Cyborg lasted much longer then Robin had, talking at him for a good ten minutes before giving up and stomping off. Not even five minutes later, Starfire was tapping softly at the door, politely inquiring as to his well being. Beast Boy had the feeling that they were taking turns trying to get him to leave his room. He ignored her too, even when the light tapping became steadily louder until his entire room was shaking with the force of it. Finally he heard her sigh and walk away.

Wondering if Raven would take a turn to try and coaxe him into talking, he waited to hear her voice coming through the walls of his room. After half an hour, he decided that he didn't care. He needed to think.

His powers weren't working. This could only mean one thing. It was time. He didn't have very long. He'd known for a long time that this would eventually happen, but he'd hoped...

Flopping onto his bed, Beast Boy let out a great sigh. This couldn't be happening, not yet. He needed more time. There were things he hadn't done yet. Things that he needed to do. He had almost forgotten about...it. He'd almost tricked himself into believing that it had gone away. Even knowing that it would always be inside of him, he'd never imagined that it would happen so soon.

He could feel himself starting to panic. The old fear began to well up inside him, coming from a place that he'd long ago pushed aside. He was aware that his heart was pounding faster by the second. Trying to calm himself down, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and held it for a minute.

When he opened his eyes and looked down, he saw that his arms had become the front legs of a green tiger. He glared down at his paws, willing them to become hands. After what seemed like forever, they slowly reverted to their natural shape. Hoping that he wouldn't have anymore unwanted transformations, he studied his now normal arms. He hadn't yet replaced the glove on his left hand, and he stared at the scars that riddled his palm. The skin was mottled and twisted, ugly to look at. Taking the glove off of his right hand, he ran his fingertips over the knotted skin of that palm. Blinking back tears and fighting back memories, Beast Boy fished through a pile of clothing under his bed for a replacement pair of gloves.

_I can't let them see me like this. I can't let _her _see me like this, _he thought to himself.

"This can't be happening now," he whispered softly, and a single tear found its way onto his cheek, "I need more time."

**The Most Beautiful Thing.**

"I think he just wants us to leave him alone," Raven said dryly as Starfire came back into the common area and sprawled on the couch looking dejected. Because she could feel his emotions so intensly, Raven in fact _knew _that Beast Boy wanted to be left alone. She'd told the rest of them as much when they had started trying to lure him out of his room.

"But something is wrong with him Raven," Cyborg insisted again, "There was no rock. He didn't trip over anything. He lied to us. There is definitely something going on with the little dude. And where in the name of all that's holy did he learn to fight like that?"

Raven knew that Cyborg meant well. Beast Boy was his best friend after all, but she knew that the best thing that any of the Titans could do right now would be to let him calm down for a while. She could sense him struggling to gain control of his emotions, fighting desperately against the fear, against the coldness.

She could feel his fire growing, sending heat through her whole body, all the way from his bedroom. The battle going on inside of him right now was greater than any he had fought today. There was definitely something wrong with him, something that he didn't want the rest of them to know about, and Raven could respect that.

Turning her attention back to the conversation at hand, Raven saw that the topic had changed to Beast Boy's stunning display of ability against Cinderblock.

"I just don't understand why he would feel that he had to hide that from us," Robin pondered aloud, clearly puzzled by why anyone would deny such natural talent, "I mean, he is the most gifted fighter I've ever seen."

"Yeah," Cyborg nodded, still stupefied, "The real question is, _where the bloody hell did he learn to fight like that_?!"

"I too am curious to know where friend Beast Boy aquired such wondrous skills," proclaimed Starfire, still a little upset by the fact that Beast Boy hadn't said a word to her while she was denting his very heavy steel door.

As the other three Titans continued to discuss the day's events, Raven got up and left the room. She needed to go somewhere quiet, she needed to get away from Beast Boy and his emotions. She couldn't take much more of this, she was starting to lose control, could feel herself slipping.

A few minutes later, a dark figure emerged onto the roof of the Titans Tower. Lifting her legs off of the ground and crossing them, she began to meditate, replacing her usual mantra with silence. She needed to think, but couldn't without first clearing her head of Beast Boy's residual emotions. Concentrating on exactly what he was feeling, she began to push him away. She pushed away his fear, his shame, his sadness, his fire. She sifted through everything he was feeling, until she stumbled across something entirely unexpected.

Desire. He wanted something...no, he wanted somebody. He craved companionship. How had she missed that? How could she have thought just a few minutes ago that he wanted to be alone? She examined the feeling closer, realizing that he hadn't wanted companionship a few minutes ago. Something had changed.

Abandoning her attempt at meditation, she silently made her way towards Beast Boy's room, unnoticed by the other three Titans. Standing outside his door, Raven debated whether or not she was the right person to talk to him right now. Cyborg or Starfire would be far better people to cheer him up. Hell, Robin would do a better job than she would.

She was about to knock when she heard his voice coming from inside.

"This can't be happening now. I need more time." There was a slight waver to his voice, as though he'd been crying. Raven was taken aback. She hadn't expected him to be this upset. It was just a stupid fight. So what if he had been hiding an extraordinary talent? The rest of them weren't mad at him.

"Ok, um, I'll just go," she stammered, embarrassed at having caught him at such a vulnerable moment, "Uh, sorry."

As she turned around, she heard the door open behind her.

"Raven?"

She turned back to see him standing in the doorway, leaning slightly against the frame.

"I'm sorry Gar, I didn't mean to-you know. I'll just leave. Sorry," she apologized again, surprising them both by using his real name.

"No, you don't have to," he reached and touched her shoulder as she turned away again, "I mean, well, uh...I'd like you to stay. For a minute." Raven felt a tingling where he had touched her, and stayed.

"I thought...you said that you needed more time. I just figured that you wanted me to leave you alone for a while longer." Beast Boy was quiet for a moment, and then looked directly into her eyes.

Nobody had ever looked at her like that, so seriously, so intensly. She shivered slightly, looking back at him, seeing him as if for the first time. His green eyes glittered with traces of the tears that he had moments before been fighting back. There was so much more behind them than she'd ever given him credit for. She was aware of an uncertainty that hung about him. She could tell that he desperately wanted to say something to her, but was trying to decide if he should.

"No Rae, I'm glad you came. I actually wanted-well I wanted to tell you..." he paused for what seemed like an eternity.

"What?" she prompted him gently. Was he blushing?

"Raven, I uh...just wanted to say goodb-good night. Good night," he said again, almost choking on the words. Before she could wonder why he would make such a big deal out of such a small statement, his arms were wrapped around her, hugging her with all his might. Surprised, it took her a moment to register what was happening, but once she had, she returned the embrace, holding him close to her body. He felt so small at that moment, his face buried in her hair. He was trembling, and so didn't notice that she was too. Tightening her grip on him to steady herself, she wished that she knew exactly what was going on. Beast Boy held onto her like he never wanted to let go, just as she had held onto him once, after Malchior had used her and broken her heart. This time, she was the one to pull away.

"Is there anything you need to talk about?" she asked him, still slightly shaken by how fiercely he had held onto her, as though his life depended on it. He shook his head sadly.

"No. I just want you to know...you're one of the greatest people I've ever met. I could never have wished for a better friend. Thank you," he murmered softly.

"For what?"

"For being you. For being my friend. For everything. Just-thanks," whispered the green youth, turning slowly away and stepping back into his room.

"You're...welcome, I guess. Good night, Gar," Raven said in her most comforting voice, confused by his words and his actions. The last thing she saw of him before the door closed was a weak smile, a reflection of his usually wide grin. She walked away with much to think about.

Had she stayed, she would have heard a soft whisper on the other side of a very heavy, recently dented steel door.

"Goodbye Rachel."

**His Eyes Are Closed.**

Raven couldn't believe herself. _How could you let one stupid hug affect you like that? Didn't you just swear TODAY that you wouldn't let yourself slip like that again??? You could have killed somebody._ The second that Beast Boy had touched her, she'd felt the color bursting through again. So much life, so much joy and sorrow and fear and relief, all at once, so vibrant and real. So dangerous. Never again. But she'd said that once already today.

She knew what she had to do, knew that she had to envelope herself in the greyness again. She also knew that she didn't really want to. She loved the color, loved the feelings, loved...

The veil had to be replaced. Had to be mended.

Wandering around the tower aimlessly, she found herself once again on top of the tower. She hadn't realized that the sun was already setting. The brilliant colors reflecting off of the clouds and the water seemed to be mocking her, flaunting their beauty at her, tempting her to let them in. To let her own color out.

She stood there for some time, watching the day's light fade away. As the silver light of the moon washed over her still figure, she tried to gain control of the chaos that was inside of her.

A long time had passed, she didn't know how long, when Cyborg came onto the roof to stand beside her.

"You ok?" he asked, gazing up at the full moon, red eye glowing in the night. Raven nodded.

"No," she admitted after a minute, "I'm not ok. Something's going on, and I have no way to control it. I'm lost in the dark Cyborg, and I don't know what to do." Cyborg glanced at her, surprised that she had actually opened up to him. The two stood in pensieve silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

Suddenly Raven was blown away by a blast of the now familiar cold fear that could only be Beast Boy's. Nothing she had ever felt from him had been this strong. She fell to her knees and put her hands to her head, trying to maintain control of her powers.

"Raven! Raven, what's going on?" Cyborg shouted. Everything on the roof of the tower was covered by dark energy. When Raven didn't answer, Cyborg immediately called Robin on his communicator.

"Robin, get your ass up here, there's something seriously wrong with Raven! Bring Star too," he added as an afterthought.

"We're on our way."

Raven wanted to scream at them. She didn't need help, Beast Boy did! His fear had become an all consuming terror, cold as ice, penetrating through him. There was more though. Emotions were barraging her in a seemingly endless attack. Anger, sorrow, regret, guilt, it was too much, all at once. She couldn't take much more of this. Her powers would soon take over. She could destroy the entire tower if he didn't calm down.

With nowhere else to turn for help, she looked to the same place that her anguish was coming from. She reached out for the fire that was her anchor, the fire that could save her from herself. It was there, and she had never been more happy to find it. She latched onto it, and as she did, it grew, it raged, it fought back the cold until it was only a memory. Finally, she was able to gain some control. The dark energy began to recede as his flame burned through her, giving her strength.

Then the energy was completely gone. Raven was in control once more.

She wanted to die.

The fear was gone.

"Raven, what happened?" Robin.

The ice, the cold was gone.

She choked back a sob.

"Please speak now Raven!" Starfire.

The anger, the sorrow, the regret, the guilt, was all gone.

"Raven, say something!" Cyborg shook her.

The Fire, the burning, the flame, the hope...was gone.

"RAVEN!!"

And in it's place, was something worse than the cold, worse than the loss of control.

There was nothing.

Nothing.

"Beast Boy," she sobbed, and ran to his room, followed by three Titans who had no idea what was going on.

* * *

_Ok, cliffhanger, I know, but I'm going to say right now that the story isn't over. And I wouldn't even bother to write a Teen Titans story without Beast Boy in it, so don't fret!!_


	3. Here to Drown

_Ok, so this chapter took me a little longer than anticipated. Mainly because I kept being distracted by other amazing stories on the site. You guys have to stop writing such good stories, or else I'll never get anything done! That and an obscene amount of precalc homework is what I'm going to blame the delay on._

_Sorry about the cliffhanger on the last chapter, you're right, I am evil. I realized just how evil after I posted the chapter. My bad, (mwa hahahahaha). Just in case you can't tell, that was my evil laugh. What? I thought it was good.:D_

_Anyways, so far I've got 34 reviews for the first two chapters. I'm sooo excited! Guys, you are completely fantastic and incredible!! Thanks so much to everybody who's read my story, and again especially to those who've taken the time to review it! Keep it up! I'm a review vampire, reviews sustain me!:P_

_Ok, I'll shut up now and let you read the next chapter, it's one in the morning and I'm freaking tired! Curses upon all math homework!!_

_Oh, and by the way, I don't own the Teen Titans. _**

* * *

**

**Chapter Three. Here To Drown.**

After Raven left, the only thing for Beast Boy to do was withdraw to his room. He'd talk to the rest of the Titans in the morning. He'd been avoiding this for far too long, should have told them when they first met. He hadn't wanted to though. There was no fun in having everybody pity him. Everything would have been different. Once people found out, they treated him differently, as though he was some kind of invalid, unable to take care of himself.

He'd talk to the Titans tomorrow, tell them everything. One more day wouldn't make a difference, whatever happened would happen whether or not he told his friends. Looking back, he was glad that they hadn't known. That they had always treated him as an equal, made him feel like he was a hero. Made him forget what would eventually come.

_Tomorrow, _he told himself, _tomorrow I'll sit them down and tell them. I can't leave it any longer. Maybe I'll play some game station with Cy tonight. Kick some tin can ass! I could show Robin some moves, train with him for a while. Dude, that'll be sweet to show him up for once! Maybe I'll let him win one. I'll apologize to Star. She seemed kinda upset while she was trying to beat down my door. One more normal night, then I'll tell them. _

In a slightly better mood at the thought of his evening's plans, he decided that holding off telling them one more day wouldn't hurt. He'd already told Raven enough. Maybe not everything that he would have liked to tell her, but it was a pretty damn good start. Smiling to himself at the memory, he sprawled across his bed. _I hope I didn't freak her out. _As the thought crossed his mind he frowned, trying to remember her exact reaction.

Had she flinched slightly when he had hugged her? Maybe a little, but she'd relaxed after a moment. After that, he didn't remember much about it except that she was there, she was his, just for a few minutes. She'd felt so solid, so comforting, so strong. Nothing could happen to him while he was with her. He'd breathed in deeply, cherishing her scent, the smell that sent shivers down his spine.

No, even though she'd been the one to break the contact, Beast Boy didn't think that she'd been freaked out by it. He almost dared to think that she'd enjoyed it. Almost dared to think that it could happen again.

As he replayed the memory over and over again, he didn't notice that patches of fur, feathers, and scales were randomly errupting and dissappearing all over his body.

He didn't notice that something was wrong until it was too late. Too late to go for help. By the time he realized what was happening, he was gripped by a stronger wave of dizziness than any he had previously experienced.

"Help," he tried to shout, knowing that nobody could hear him. His voice was merely a croak. Attempting to reach the hallway, he stumbled and fell amid the warzone that was his bedroom floor. His body was a mess of different creatures that rivaled his mess of a room. It wouldn't stop changing, he was losing control of everything.

_NO!!! _he screamed internally, _Not yet, not now! I have more time, I have to!! I have to tell them, they have to know!!!! I have to say goodbye! _By now fear had gripped every part of his being. He wasn't finished, wasn't ready. There was so much left that he had to do. He needed to-

He let out an agonized grunt as a bolt of pain seared through his entire body. This couldn't be happening. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have wasted so much time?

Beast Boy silently wished for his friends to come. He didn't want to be alone, not now, not here at the end. He felt like he was burning alive, the pain was consuming him. Why hadn't he told his friends? They'd be here now if he had. The morphing had stopped, leaving him gasping for air and reeling from pain. As he stared up at the ceiling, he saw that dark energy was seeping through the roof and into his room.

_Raven_. Something was happening to Raven, her powers were out of her control, threatening to destroy the tower. Threatening to destroy her.

It was him. He knew it. She knew what was happening to him. He could feel her inside of him, reaching out for an anchor, reaching desperately for somebody who could pull her back from the edge.

"Raven, no!" he cried, and using every ounce of strength within him, rose to his knees. He could feel her slipping, losing control, reaching for him. He wouldn't let her fall. He wouldn't let his fate be hers. Something flared up inside him, erasing all fear for himself.

It blazed through him, reaching back for her, pulling her from the brink of an abyss. The dark energy began to fade. Or was it getting stronger? The edge of his vision was becoming hazy; he couldn't tell if the darkness he saw was coming from Raven or not. The wild energy that had reached out for her faded, leaving him alone with the pain that coursed through his entire body.

He shuddered and fell forward, catching himself with his hands. The pain was too much, he couldn't take any more of it.

As he collapsed, as he faded away, he had one final thought.

_At least I got to say goodbye to Raven._

**

* * *

**He looked so small amidst the machinery that surrounded him. The stark white of the medical bay contrasted sharply with his green skin. As Cyborg ran tests on the blood he'd drawn from Beast Boy's arm, Robin anxiously paced the length of the small room. If the rest of them weren't so worried, they would have found the sight of their leader pivoting sharply every few steps amusing. Eventually he sat down with a thud, his quick succesion of 180 turns beginning to make the room spin. 

Starfire was sitting cross legged on the bed next to Beast Boy, sniffling softly. Although she usually sat with perfect posture, she was slouched over now, eyes locked on her sick friend and the machines that monitered his condition.

Raven stood at the window on the other side of the room, attempting to completely center herself. Beast Boy's emotions were gone, and with them the chaos that they brought. Now she was left alone with her own emotions. She had to eradicate them, to leave them behind.

_Azarath Metreon Zinthos, Azarath Metreon Zinthos, Azarath Metreon..._she chanted silently to herself, not wanting to disturb the deafening silence in the room that was only broken by the monotonous beeping of the machines that were hooked up to Beast Boy. She could feel the grey curtain slowly descending over her, pushing away the darkness that had burst forth inside her when he had disappeared. It was better this way. It was better to be grey, to be empty, than to let the dark consume her. Sorrow, grief, anguish, fear, these were things she didn't need. These were colors that were best kept hidden away. Locked away, where nobody could reach them, where noone could touch them.

_I'm not upset. I just overreacted because Beast Boy's emotions were too much for anybody to handle. I'm not upset. _The grey was begining to thicken, to envelope the last rays of color that were struggling in protest to her denial.

_Azarath..._She had raced through the tower, Titans following her, to Beast Boy's room. They had shouted at her, asking what was going on, asking if she was ok, asking what was wrong with Beast Boy. She had ignored them, too busy trying to catch some glimpse of his fire, of anything.

She hadn't been able to.

_Metreon..._Robin had knocked on Beast Boy's door when they got there. It was pointless, Raven knew, but she hadn't trusted herself to speak. In the state that she'd been in, she'd been liable to destroy the tower accidentally.

There had been no answer. Of course. Starfire had ripped the door away from the wall, finishing her work from earlier that day by completely destroying it.

There he was. Raven played the scene back in her head, seeing him lying on his floor surrounded by garbage and dirty laundry, curled in a ball facing away from them.

_Zinthos..._She'd rushed over to him, followed closely by Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin. Using her powers to check him for signs of life, she'd found them. Shallow breathing, and a faint heartbeat, but he was alive. He'd been soaked in sweat, and shaking. She'd tried to heal him, tried harder than she'd ever tried before, but it was no use. Whatever his sickness was, it was too deep, it was stronger than she was. They'd taken him to the medical bay and hooked him up to all of those machines.

He didn't even look like himself anymore. He was lost among the winding tubes and wires. The mass of equipment rose and fell as he breathed. Raven looked away, fearing that the sight of Beast Boy like that would cause another tear in the already battered shroud of grey that she had cloaked herself in.

And now, with the others taking care of him, she could take a moment to examine herself thoroughly and regain the control that she had very nearly lost that day.

**Lost In You.**

"Dude," Beast Boy moaned, his eyes shut tight against a pounding headache. Groaning, he rolled over and found himself falling off his bed and onto the floor of his bedroom.

"Ouch." Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and looked around, confused. The last thing he remembered was pain. And then darkness-Raven. Then there was...nothing. He must have passed out, but how did he get back up to his bed? Had the others put him there? No, if they had found him, they'd have taken him to the medical bay.

"Maybe I dreamt it all," he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair. That would almost make sense. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that this theory was right. The entire day must have been a dream. Losing his powers, fighting Cinderblock without them-he would never do that, he'd never show the Titans that he could do that. And hugging Raven...she would never have hugged him back, that was definitely a figment of his imagination.

Beast Boy sighed. He'd almost rather have the entire awful day back then think that the embrace had merely been a dream. Oh well. He'd have plenty of time to tell Raven...everything. Grinning at the thought, Beast Boy stood and stretched his arms towards the ceiling. It felt like he was being given a second chance. He'd go and tell the Titans everything. They deserved to know. They deserved the chance to say goodbye, when it actually happened. The important thing was that it hadn't happened yet, he had more time.

"Goooood morning!" he boomed cheerily as he walked into the kitchen, and then stopped dead in his tracks. There was nobody there. Beast Boy blinked several times, staring stupidly at the empty room. _I must be up early, _he thought, blaming the dream that he'd had, _I'll just go wake them up, it can't be too early._ Looking at the digital clock on the stove, he saw that it was blinking at twelve o clock. The power must have gone off or something. He looked out the window and saw that the sun was already up and decided to risk waking up his friends.

First he went to Cyborg's room.

"Cyboooorg! Oh, Cybooorg! Cyborg," he shouted, knocking perhaps harder than necessary on his friend's door. _Maybe his wake-up system got screwed up when the power went out, _Beast Boy reasoned. He looked at the complicated computer that acted as a lock for Cyborg's door. These things used passwords right?

"If I were Cyborg's password, what would I be?" he asked the computer softly, trying to think what word Cy would use. _Booyah? Too obvious. Ummm, Titans? No, that's stupid. Brother Blood? No, too bad-guyish. What about Stone? Meh, might as well try something._ As he reached a final decision on what to type in as a password, he realized a crucial flaw in his plan.

The computer had no keyboard. It was just a screen built into the wall. Beast Boy prodded the screen gently, trying to figure out how to call up the on-screen keyboard. After several minutes, he hadn't gotten past the screen that said: **Don't even try BB**

"Screw this," the small green Titan muttered, frustrated by his lack of computer knowledge. Suddenly he disappeared from sight, having changed into a flea. He slipped underneath the door and changed back.

"Sorry Cy, but your computer thingy's broken, the keyboard's missing, and I had to-Cy?" he stopped, seeing that nobody was in the room. _He must be working on the T-Car._ Shrugging, Beast Boy made his way to Starfire's room. The door was open, as it often was. Poking his head in, he saw no sign that Star was in the room. Growling with frustration, he made his way to Robin's room, not expecting to find him there.

Nope. No Robin.

And now he was standing in front of Raven's room, holding his breath. This was dangerous territory, and he knew it. He knocked lightly on the door.

No answer. He knocked harder.

Nothing.

"Rae? Raven?" he called, "Are you in there?"

Still no reply.

"Raven! Are you there?" he shouted, this time much louder. Fed up with waiting for an answer, he opened the door. The room was dark, but that wasn't an issue for him. Squinting his eyes, he saw nobody.

"What the hell?" he yelled at the empty tower, "Where did they go?" He stormed downstairs, furious that all of his friends had left without so much as a note. Cursing them under his breath, he wrenched open the front door, ready to become a bird and scour the city for them. They were going to get a piece of his mind, it was one thing to ignore him, but it was an entirely different matter to-

BAM

"What the hell!!??" he said again, face numb from the impact. On the other side of the door there was...nothing. Instead of the usual ocean view, Beast Boy was confronted by a field of bright white light. Solid light, which he did not have the urge to run into again any time soon. Instead, he cautiously reached his hand out, and found that there was an invisible barrier that prevented him from leaving. Slamming the door shut, he ran to the nearest window. Looking through it, he saw the skyline of Jump City, but as soon as he opened the panel, the view was replaced by the white light. Panting, he raced through the tower, trying every opening he could think of and getting the same results with each one. He was trapped.

"Where am I?" he asked, knowing that nobody could hear him.

**

* * *

**"I don't know guys. I just don't know," Cyborg stated in a defeated tone. He'd spent the entire night trying to figure out what was wrong with Beast Boy and had come up with nothing. There was a dark circle framing his biological eye. 

"All of those tests and you didn't find anything?" Robin snapped, fatigue and frustration causing him to vent his anger on the nearest target.

"What did I just say?" growled Cyborg. The two glared at eachother furiously, each one trying to out-stare the other.

"Friends! Please, we must not argue," Starfire said forcefully, tears glinting in her large eyes, "We are all of us feeling the sadness, but we must not be mean to one another." Robin scowled and turned away from Cyborg.

"Starfire's right," came Raven's dull monotone from the corner. The other three looked up in surprise. Raven hadn't spoken since the night before on top of the tower. Since she'd directed them to Beast Boy's fallen form.

"Arguing won't help Beast Boy," she continued, "Cyborg, did you find anything at all that we could use?" Cyborg sighed and looked back at the computer screen that was displaying the results of the tests.

"Well...whatever it is, it's taking out his systems one by one," he replied, unconciously using technical terms to describe Beast Boy's organs, "and whatever it is, he's had it before. I wouldn't be surprised if it's been lying dormant inside him for years."

"_I just-uh, tripped. On that rock over-um, well it's, uh it's gone...now, it's gone. Yeah. I tripped over it. I'm fine."_

How could she have missed it?

Cyborg slammed his fist into the wall. "Why didn't we notice that he was sick? I should have known, he fell on his way out the tower this afternoon. He never falls like that. Somebody always pushes him. And his powers weren't working. This is all my fault." Cyborg was sitting now, his voice having become softer as he spoke.

"_You can't just do...that and expect us not to notice. That was amazing Beast Boy."_

"_Oh, I agree. Never before have I witnessed such a magnificent display of combat, not even from the Warlords of Okaara!" _

"_Where did you learn how to do that?"_

"_Can we just go home? Please?"_

How could she have been so stupid?

"This was nobody's fault Cyborg," Robin looked at the prone form of his teammate, "He's sick. There's nothing we could have done to change that."

"_This can't be happening now. I need more time."_ At the time, she'd thought that Beast Boy had wanted her to leave. Now, looking back, Raven cursed her own blindness.

"Agreed Robin," Starfire put a comforting hand on Cyborg's shoulder, "Nothing that any of us could have done could have prevented this. We can not blame ourselves."

Looking back, Raven remembered something else, something that she'd heard but not really comprehended as she'd walked away from Beast Boy.

"_Goodbye Rachel."_

"He knew," Raven interrupted Starfire as she continued to comfort Cyborg. Raven stood and walked to Beast Boy. The others simply stared at her.

"He knows," she corrected herself, "Beast Boy knows what's happening to him. He knows exactly what's wrong. I think that he's known for a long time."

"I do not think I understand," a confused Starfire said. Robin and Cyborg looked at Raven, waiting for her to elaborate.

"He's been saying things," she explained slowly, working it out for herself as well as for them, "I went to his room last night, before I saw you up on the roof Cyborg. He was acting strange, even for him. He was acting like he'd never see me again." She didn't tell them about the embrace that they'd shared. The rest of the Titans didn't need to know that.

"Well, it would have been nice of him to tell us that yesterday," Robin said, frustrated, "As of now, his knowing what's wrong with him doesn't really help us to figure it out."

"Yes, actually, it does," Raven said, secretly pleased at the looks of surprise on her friends' faces.

"Please, explain Raven," Starfire asked, her request, as usual, sounding more like a command. When Raven didn't say anything, Star looked to Cyborg, who shrugged, and then to Robin.

"You can go into his mind," Robin replied slowly, Raven's plan dawning on him. Raven nodded, knowing that Robin was remembering the time when he'd let her into his own mind.

"Are you sure you want to?" Cyborg asked, attempting to lighten the sombre mood with a joke. He couldn't stand that they were all so depressed because of Beast Boy. He knew that the constantly laughing Titan would hate that. If there was one thing that Cyborg could say he knew about his friend, it was that making others smile was what made Beast Boy happy.

Raven's face became less stern, the equivelant of smiling for her. She appreciated what Cyborg was trying to do, but wasn't so sure if Robin did. To prevent another fight, she nodded again and spoke.

"This is, of course, assuming he has a mind," she replied dryly. Then, all joking aside, she explained to them exactly what she'd be doing.

"I can send my soul-self into his mind. My body will still be here, but I won't be, so if there's trouble, I won't be able to help. There's no way for you to bring me back. I'll come out when I come out, so don't bother trying to wake me," she said curtly. Robin nodded shortly, and looked to Cyborg and Starfire to make sure they understood.

"Say hi to him for me," Cyborg grinned, feeling better since they were doing something. He hated to feel helpless, to feel like there was nothing he could do to change what was happening. He hated being unable to help Beast Boy.

"And for me as well," Starfire said happily, already looking forward to Raven's return. The young alien was positive that Raven would be able to find out what was wrong with Beast Boy and figure out a way to heal him.

Cyborg helped her to clear out some of the tubes and wires that were hooked up to Beast Boy. Most of them had been there just for the tests, and when all of the excess machinery had been cleared, he looked a little closer to normal than he had just a few minutes prior. Raven eased herself gently underneath him so that his head rested in her lap. She put her hands against his temples, and almost withdrew them when she felt how hot his head was. His breathing became steadier as she held him, and his pulse grew stronger. Raven tilted her head forward until it was parallel with Beast Boy's.

"Azarath Metreon Zinthos," she whispered. A black raven shaped from dark energy leapt out of her and soared into Beast Boy's forehead.

As Robin, Star, and Cyborg watched, Raven slumped slightly against the pillows behind her. After a few moments, the three saw something that very few people ever had the pleasure of seeing. Raven, still cradling Beast Boy's head in her lap, smiled.

"I guess she likes it in there," Cyborg said, hardly believing the words as he said them.

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_Thanks again for reading and (hint, hint) reviewing my story! I'm not going to commit to a for sure date for the next chapter, but I'll say that the absolute longest that it'll be is a week, unless something really drastic happens. :D_

_-Liss_


	4. No Way Out

_Okay, I barely made it, but I wrote this chapter in less than a week! Yay!! Ok, I apologize in advance for not making any sense in this note thingy. It's because it's 4:30am right now and I think my eyeballs are about to fall out._

_I'm pretty happy that I actually finished this chapter, it was a toughie to write. It's a bit longer than the first three chapters. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, so to cover all of my bases I will say that I'm sorry and that I think more of the upcoming chapters will probably be about this length. Did that make any sense?_

_Good grief, I'm losing it. Anyways, thanks for reading and for all of those who are reviewing, keep it up! I'm really honored that people are reading my story. Ok, my vision's starting to go, I need to catch some z's. _

_Alrighty, I don't own Teen Titans, it's fricking cold in Manitoba, I'm tired, and that's all I have to say for now!_

_Enjoy!_

_-Liss_**

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**

**Chapter 4. No Way Out.**

The loss of self that accompanied venturing into another's mind was by now familiar, but Raven would never be comfortable with the feeling. For just a few seconds after entering somebody else's conscience, she was overwhelmed by who they were. Every thought, every feeling, every memory assaulted her, and for an instant, she found it difficult to differentiate her own thoughts and feelings from the jumble. She'd never actually forgotten who she was, but it always took her longer than she would have liked to remember.

This time, however, was different. She had come into Beast Boy's mind expecting to lose herself momentarily as she had every single time she'd entered another person's mind. But here...here she felt more like herself than she ever had before. She was Raven. Always, she was Raven and nobody else. She was taciturn and distant and oftentimes cold, but she was who she was, and for once in her life she didn't regret being that person. Yes, she was cold, but here the coldness melted, burned from her by the warmth of the fire inside of him. It had saved her so many times, this flame, and now it embraced her fully, delighting her with its blazing joy. She hadn't known, had never seen just how beautiful his fire was. Now she let it wash over her, let herself melt in it completely. She was tempted to stay there forever, but remembered the reason she had come here, and resumed her human form.

She could take any form that she wanted to as her soul-self, but she chose to be herself so that Beast Boy would recognize her. Shoulder length purple hair accompanied by a high hairline made her easily distinguishable in any crowd. Nobody would believe that she didn't dye it, not that she cared. The topic had never come up with the Titans. Nor had the question of whether her large purple eyes were the result of colored contacts. They weren't. Her ashy grey skin was a reflection of how she had been taught to control her emotions. Her long legs, wide hips and slender torso were all lean and muscled from years of fighting and training. Calling up her image in her minds' eye, she took her normal form, dropping softly to the ground. She looked around in surprise, slightly confused at first as to her surroundings.

Raven hadn't been quite sure what to expect when she'd gone into Beast Boy's head. She knew that it wouldn't be anything like the terrain of her own mind. Everybody's mind had a physical representation, even though most people didn't have the means of accessing it that Raven did. Generally people's minds tended to take the form of the place they felt the safest, hers being a fairly large exception to this rule.

She hadn't expected to feel so comfortable in Beast Boy's head. She hadn't expected to feel so...safe.

She was standing in the common area of Titan's Tower. _He's definitely not the most original person in the world, _she thought as she reached out to sense his presence in the replica of the tower. She found him in the last place she thought he'd be.

Beast Boy was in her room-or where her room was in the actual tower at least. Raven's heart pounded against her ribcage as she made her way towards him. She'd never thought she could miss something so simple, something as small as the presence of the 'green annoyance', so much. Until this moment, she hadn't realized just how important he was to her life. To all of their lives. He was the fire, he was the laughter, he was the hope that tied them all together.

Raven supressed a burst of happiness when she sensed him. Beast Boy's emotions couldn't affect her here in his mind, but this was not a good place for her to lose control of her own emotions.

In the medical bay of Titan's Tower, Beast Boy cradled in her lap, her lips twitched up at the corners, her body expressing the color that her soul could not.

**

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**

The three remaining Titans were trying to find something to do to occupy their time. Robin had been the first to leave the medical bay, unable to sit and wait any longer. He had to do something productive, had to make himself feel like something other than a useless lump. That was something he was not familiar with, and never cared to be. There had to be something he could do. He was sure that Raven was doing her best, but it couldn't hurt to do a little research of his own.

Starfire had followed him just a few minutes later. She knew where he would be, knew where he would go to solve a seemingly unsolvable problem. She walked down the dark corridor that led to all of her least favorite rooms of the tower.

The first door led to the evidence room, where shadows of evil danced every way she turned and taunted her with the memories they brought up. Next she came to the vault where Robin kept his remaining Red X equipment.

Shuddering involuntarily as she walked by the vault, Starfire made her way to the end of the hall. The room there was intended to be where they kept records of all of their battles and all details of their lives, but Robin had converted it into his own private study.

Newspaper articles were pinned to every square inch of the room, a grotesque charade of wallpaper. Relics from times that she would rather forget were littered across the desk and shelves. The light of a single lamp only made the room seem darker, disappearing before it reached the corners of the room and casting shadows that were even more garish than those in the evidence room.

"Robin?" she called softly from the doorframe, unwilling to enter the room. He was sitting at the desk with his back to her, illuminated by the dull white glow of a computer screen.

"Robin," she said again when he didn't answer. He grunted incoherently, not turning around. Starfire hesitantly stepped across the threshold and into the room. Glancing over his shoulder, she saw that he was scrolling through lists of symptoms on a medical site.

"Robin," she said for a third time, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Please, let us leave this place. Raven will find-"

"I can't just sit and do nothing Starfire," Robin snapped and stood abruptly to face her. Starfire took a step back, hurt by his sudden agression.

"You cannot do everything Robin. Nobody can," she whispered, afraid that he would become more angry with her.

"I'm doing more than you are," he muttered, turning to sit back down. He was stopped when Star grabbed his arm, using more force than she ever had before. Turning around to meet her eyes, he saw that she was furious. Glowing green eyes met his, and narrowed.

"I am doing what is right. I am spending what may be Beast Boy's last-," she stopped, choking on the words that she'd been about to say, and continued, "I am spending the time with Beast Boy. You do _not_ presume to tell..." she stopped suddenly, anger fading as quickly as it had come. She realized why Robin was here, why he was fruitlessly searching for answers.

"Robin, you are...afraid?" she asked gently, loosening her grip on his arm. Robin looked for a moment as though he wanted to yell at her again. Instead, he seemed to deflate, all of his manic energy fading.

"I don't know what to do Star," he admitted, ashamed of his own inability, "I can't lose a member of my team, but there's nothing I can do to help. I don't know what I'd do if I lost..."

"A friend?" Star finished his sentence. Robin nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the dark floor.

"Then this...is something which you must do?" Starfire indicated the glowing computer. Again, he nodded.

"Then I will leave you now," she said, resigned, "Remember please, that you will forever be full of the regretting if you do not see Beast Boy again." On that note, she walked away from the dimly lit room, away from the articles plastered on the walls, away from the dust covered relics of times passed. Walked away from the vault. Walked away from the memories. Walked away from him.

**

* * *

**

"Beast Boy?" Raven called into the dark room. He was in the farthest corner, rummaging through one of her trunks. She saw his back straighten and his ears prick. He turned to see her and his face lit up with his signature grin.

"Raven!" he cried, jumping up and running across the room towards her, then stopped suddenly, "Oh no! They got you too? This is a disaster. I've been looking through your spellbooks to see if I could find a way out of here but they're all totally blank, maybe now that you're here you could help me, I don't know where we are, it looks like the tower but it isn't-"

Raven ended his spiel with a raised hand. Beast Boy stopped and took a huge breath.

"What do you mean they got me too?" she asked him. He shrugged and pointed to an open window. Raven reached her hand into the white field to find that there was resistance. There was no way out.

"I thought you'd know. I've been trying to find a way out for hours. Maybe Mad Mod or somebody brought us here. Or maybe Mumbo-" He stopped as Raven shook her head.

"Do you know where we are Raven? Because I'd really like to know," he asked. Raven could hear the beginnings of panic edging through his voice.

"Do you remember what happened?" Looking at him, she could see that he did, but was denying it all.

"All I know is that when I woke up, nobody was here, and there's no way out," he replied. Meeting his eyes, Raven knew that he really wanted to believe that some crazy villain had kidnapped them and trapped them here. She would have to break it to him, force him to remember. She would have to resume the role of heartless messenger.

She was so tired of being the one to wipe away his smile, to wipe away his happiness. Most of the time it was her own fault, she had torn him down every chance she had received, and now regretted it more fully than anything else in her life. But this wasn't about her, it was about finding out how to help him. Taking a deep breath, she cupped her hands in front of her. Dark energy pooled in them, reminding her of water in the night. Holding her hands out to Beast Boy, she allowed her memories of the previous day to reflect in the dark pool so that he could see.

She watched his reactions as he saw himself take on Cinderblock single handed. As he saw himself, through her eyes, collapse after the battle. Her throat tightened to see him smile slightly as he watched himself embrace her in the hallway outside his door. Beast Boy's eyes widened as he witnessed the Titan's mad dash through the tower to his room. As he saw his own prone form lying on his bedroom floor, and then finally, as he saw himself hooked up to countless machines while his friends tried to figure out what the problem was.

When it was over, Raven called her memories back to her, and the dark energy slipped through her hands and disappeared. Beast Boy was left staring at her empty hands.

"It...wasn't a dream, was it?" he asked, a pleading tone in his voice, as though he was willing her to tell him that she'd made it up, that he was fine, and that this was all just some joke. She shook her head again sadly.

"Then-where are we?" he waited for Raven to answer. She didn't, unsure of how she would explain. His eyebrows raised slightly in suspicion, and he continued, "Wait a minute. Am I dead? Are you like my guardian angel or something?"

Raven couldn't help it. The idea of herself as any kind of angel, much less Beast Boy's guardian angel, was too much. She laughed. How did he do that? How did he take her, when she was about to drown in her own unfeeling greyness, and brighten everything around her? How did he make her laugh, when she would probably be crying if she was allowed to express herself? It was a short laugh, closer to a snort than an actual laugh, but it had escaped, and Beast Boy was smiling again.

"Well, you can't be Raven," he grinned.

"I can tell you one thing, I am not your guardian angel," she said drily, "And you're not dead." _Yet, _she added silently to herself. Beast Boy's smile faded a little. He didn't say anything, only looked to her for an explanation. She sighed.

"We're in your mind," Raven told him. He gaped at her, not understanding the implications of her words. Continuing, she tried to say it as simply as she knew how, "After you passed out, we took you to the medical bay. Cyborg ran tests but all he could figure out was that whatever's wrong with you, you've had before. And I remembered...certain things, and thought that you might know what's going on, so I came here. Like I did with Robin."

"So, you're saying that..." Beast Boy paused, searching for the words, "That this is...my mind. And that you're...in my mind to find out what's wrong with me? And that I'm stuck in here until I wake up or something?"

"I don't know why you don't use your brilliant deduction skills more often," she said sarcastically, trying to supress the urge to hold him again, to comfort him, to tell him everything would be alright. She couldn't do that, as much as she wanted to.

So instead she told herself that he'd be ok, that she'd wake him up, that everything would be alright.

**Perchance To Dream.**

It wasn't a dream.

It was a nightmare. He was trapped in his own mind, and didn't know how to get out.

All he knew was that there was no way out. Raven stood before him, waiting for him to explain what was going on. Beast Boy knew that he could explain all he wanted, but it wouldn't make any difference. There was nothing that anybody could do. Even she couldn't possibly stop what was happening.

They were standing in the common area, having moved out of the darkness of Raven's room. He had been avoiding the subject of his illness for almost half an hour. Finally there was no way around it.

"Beast Boy, do you know what's wrong with you?" Raven finally asked him bluntly, tired of dancing around the subject, "We don't know how to help you. You could die." Beast Boy ran a hand through his hair and sighed. This was it. He'd have to tell her.

"I will," his voice cracked as he said it. It was the first time he'd said the words out loud, and it made it all more real somehow.

"Wha-no, we can fix it," Raven said forcefully, as if trying to convince herself, "We can, and we will."

"No, you can't," Beast Boy sat down on the couch with a thud, "What I have-it isn't something that will just go away." He looked up at Raven, who was still standing. She was blinking rapidly, and he could see her throat working as she swallowed repeatedly. She began to pace in front of him, her footsteps heavy. He waited silently for her to calm herself down. It almost made him smile to see her so upset, to know that she cared. Almost.

The last thing he needed right now was for her to blow a gasket in his mind. Beast Boy wasn't sure, but he guessed that her blowing stuff up here wouldn't be the most pleasant experience. Finally she sat down on the other side of the couch and looked him straight in the eyes. Her gaze was piercing, and after a few seconds he had to look away.

"What exactly is it that you have?" she asked him, "And how do you know that it can't be fixed?"

"I just know, ok?" he replied, picking at a loose thread in the couch, "I've had it since I was six years old."

"Why now? How can you have had it since you were six and all of the sudden it's affecting you?" as an afterthought, she added, "And what is it?"

"I can't remember the name. It starts with an s. I think," he stopped pulling the thread out of the couch to think, "Or maybe it's a k..." Beast Boy leaned back and shut his eyes tightly, trying to remember the name of the disease. His father had said it so many times. His father had been the one who gave him so much more time. If it weren't for his parents, he would have died when he first got the disease. And if it weren't for Beast Boy, his parents wouldn't have...

Lost in thought, he didn't hear Raven calling him at first. Only when she used his real name did he notice.

"Garfield!" she shouted in his ear, "Do you mind telling me where we are?" Opening his eyes, Beast Boy was shocked by what he saw before him. A riot of color greeted him, and his senses were assaulted by a cacaphony of sound and smell. He breathed in deeply, letting the smell of home wash over him. It didn't matter how long he'd been away, he would always recognize and love this place. Every scent, every sound, every memory that was here would stay with him forever. He knew exactly where they were. He just wasn't sure how they had come to be here.

"Umm," he started with a nervous laugh, "We're in Africa."

**

* * *

**

"_You could die."_

"_I will."_

No. She wouldn't let him. There was no way Raven would let him disappear again, this time forever. No way she would allow his fire to be smothered, to die. She played his words over in her head as he tried to remember the name of the disease that was killing him. He had sounded so sure, so resigned to death. As though he had accepted it.

It didn't matter. Raven didn't accept it. She couldn't. She who had stopped her demon father from destroying the universe would not let some virus destroy Beast Boy. The disease could not be stronger than her.

As she watched, Beast Boy leaned back and closed his eyes, seemingly lost in thought. _How could he not know the name of his disease?_ She wondered silently. Raven stared at him, amused at the sight of his furrowed eyebrows as he sat, deep in his memories.

She suddenly became aware of the fact that the room around her had begun to shift, to change. The neutral colors of the tower shifted into the vibrant hues of a rainforest. The couch she was sitting on sank into the ground and disappeared, leaving only leaves and vines in its wake. Judging from her surroundings, Raven saw that she was in a clearing in some tropical forest. Where it was, she had no idea.

From the fact that Beast Boy still had his eyes closed, Raven guessed that he had no idea that they'd even left the 'tower'.

"Beast Boy. Beast Boy?" she called him several times before, exasperated, she shouted his real name at him, "Garfield! Do you mind telling me where we are?" Beast Boy started out of his reverie and looked at her. His emerald colored eyes widened as he took in all of the sights, smells, and sounds that were now barraging them. Then, to her great surprise, he smiled.

"Ummm," he laughed nervously as though he expected her to be mad, "We're in Africa."

"Mm-hm," she muttered, "And would you mind telling me why we're in Africa?"

"Upper Lamumba, if you wanted to be specific. I just...I was thinking about how I got the disease, and..." he trailed off, his eyebrows furrowing again as he tried to work out what had happened. Raven understood immediately. He had accidentally taken them into one of his memories. Her theory was confirmed when she saw a small blond haired boy, she guessed about four years old, wander into the clearing.

She hadn't thought that Beast Boy's eyes could get any wider. Apparently she had been incorrect.

"That's...me," he whispered in awe, backing up slightly, "What the hell? What's going on?" Raven stared hard at the young boy. She couldn't see much of a resemblance to the Beast Boy she knew, but then again the Beast Boy she knew was completely green, whereas this child had fair skin, blond hair, and blue eyes.

"This is a memory," Raven explained to him. He nodded, even though he was having some difficulties comprehending the fact that he was watching himself as a young boy.

"When is this?" she asked him, "And why do you look so-normal?" He had edged towards her and was now standing just in front of Raven, between her and the younger version of himself.

"This is twelve years ago-when I was six," he paused before continuing, "Before I got my powers."

"You're six here?" she said incredulously, "You look about four." Beast Boy glanced at her over his shoulder and shrugged.

"I was a small kid."

Raven pointedly swept her eyes over his tiny frame and raised her eyebrows.

"Ok, I'm still small," he grinned at her. Although he had grown in the years since she'd met him, he was still barely an inch taller than she was, and she wasn't very tall. He had gained quite a bit of muscle mass, she couldn't help but notice as she swept her eyes over his entire body for a second time.

As the two Titans watched, the young Garfield Logan kneeled to the ground and began digging a hole.

"Oh no," Beast Boy breathed suddenly, peering intently into the bushes that surrounded the clearing.

"What?" Raven tried to see what he was looking at. He nodded towards a section of underbrush directly across the clearing from them. The leaves were shaking softly. The young Gar took no notice of the tremoring bush, obviously not yet gifted with Beast Boy's metahuman senses.

"This probably isn't the best place for us to be right now," he reached back and grabbed her forearm, pushing her away from his younger version. She was about to ask him why when a large creature jumped out of the bushes and attacked the young boy.

Raven choked back a startled cry as the creature jumped on top of the boy and bit down viciously on his left shoulder. Beast Boy let out a soft moan and grabbed his own left shoulder. Raven could see blood welling underneath his gloved fingers.

The tiny Garfield Logan recovered quickly from the attack, rolling over and throwing what Raven now realized was some kind of monkey, off of his back. Little Gar came out of the roll and turned to face the savage creature with a grace that Raven recognized from Beast Boy's battle with Cinderblock.

"Not very many six year olds can do that," she commented in a whisper, wondering again just where he had learned to fight like that. Beast Boy didn't answer, too preoccupied with watching the fight unfold in front of him.

It was over in a few moments. The innocent looking blue eyed boy threw the monkey ferociously into a tree. With a sickening thud the monkey's skull cracked against the thick trunk. It fell to the ground, obviously dead.

Young Gar stood for a moment, looking at his opponent. With a violent change of moods, the little boy swiftly sat down, all signs of his grace in battle gone, and began to cry. Soon a dark haired woman ran into the clearing and knelt down next to him.

"Mom," Beast Boy whispered, so softly that Raven barely heard him. He took a step towards the memory of his mother, but she was already gone, the sobbing Garfield in her arms. Beast Boy stood in the middle of the clearing, staring at the spot where the young woman and her son had left the clearing. Raven came to stand behind him, feeling his sorrow wash against her in dark waves.

"You're hurt," she said quietly, seeing blood oozing from teeth marks on his left shoulder.

"Uh-huh," he grunted, still staring after his mother. Raven laid her hand over the wound gently and began to heal it. She took on the pain of the bite with no hesitation, showing no signs that healing him caused her discomfort. Beast Boy blinked and turned his head to look at her, sorrow vanishing when he saw that he'd been affected when the monkey had bitten his younger self.

"Thanks," he said when she was finished, turning to completely face her, "Why did-"

"You're remembering everything," she explained, "The events, the sounds, the smells, your emotions and your injuries. So don't drag us into any memory where you get badly hurt. I can't heal you every time you let some monkey bite you."

"As long as you don't try and bite me-which I wouldn't hold against you by the way-" he grinned, "I should be fine." Raven rolled her eyes at his attempt at sexual innuendo.

"How long have you been able to fight like that?" she asked, hoping to get the answer that none of the other Titans had managed to get from him. Beast Boy's face became completely serious and he kicked the air a few times in an obvious impersonation of Robin.

"So you noticed my kick-ass moves?" he cast a lopsided smile at her, unable to keep a straight face, "That monkey totally didn't know what was coming. Admit it," he punched the air in mock combat and winked at her, "I'm amazing." Raven ignored the way her heart skipped a beat when he smiled at her. Ignored the way her internal organs froze when he winked at her.

"You're my hero," she drolled, ignoring the way her breath caught in her throat at the sight of his muscled legs kicking the air with perfect control.

She would never admit, even to herself, that her words held a distinct grain of truth within them.

**

* * *

**

Beast Boy's stomach attempted to climb up his esophagus at Raven's words. He gulped slowly to force it back down and smiled at her again, hoping that she hadn't noticed that he'd come completely undone when she'd praised him, albeit sarcastically.

"Well, as your personal hero," he assumed his best superhero stance, straightening his back and placing his hands on his hips, "I suppose it is my duty to tell you how I became so totally sweet and awesome."

"I suppose it is," she replied, acting as though she didn't care either way. He knew though, that she was eager as the rest of the Titans were to find out where he'd aquired his skill.

"I guess you noticed that I wasn't always like this," he held his hands out before him and shrugged, indicating his green tones, pointed ears, and sharp fangs. She nodded, and he continued, "I was born in the States, but my parents moved here when I was two years old for their research. They were doctors, you know. Anyways, that's not the point. I started walking when I was seven months old. I started fighting random pieces of furniture when I was nine months old, and I was good. I was like a prodigy or whatever."

He paused, glancing at Raven to see if she was bored with his story. Not wanting him to stop before he'd fully explained, she said nothing.

"So when we moved to Africa, the leader dude of the tribe we lived near asked my parents if he could train me to fight," he resumed his story, only for Raven to interupt.

"What was his name?" she asked. She had pulled her legs up and was levitating, cross legged, so that her eyes were exactly level with his.

"Whose?"

"The leader of the tribe's," she reminded him.

"Oh-King Tawaba," he replied, remembering the old man with fondness, "Anyways, my parents said yes, and I trained with him until they di-until I was seven years old, even after I got my powers. Then, when I joined the Doom Patrol, Mento made me continue combat training because I couldn't change into big animals yet. According to him, I was 'useless' in a fight." He ended his monologue on a bitter note.

"You're not useless," Raven said, truly meaning her words. Beast Boy looked directly into her eyes, surprised by the sincerity in her voice. She'd never been this nice to him before. At this thought, he remembered where they were and why she was here. She was being nice because she knew he would die soon. He'd almost forgotten.

Being here, in this place that was his first home, with her, the first person he'd ever really opened up to, he'd almost forgotten that he didn't have very long. He had to tell her everything before-

"That means alot to me Raven," he replied, with as much sincerity as she'd had.

**

* * *

**

"Hello? Is this-," Robin glanced at the name he'd jotted down on a scrap piece of paper, "Samuel Register's office?"

"This is Dr. Register's office," a stern voice answered him.

"Oh-ok, uh, can I please talk to Dr. Register?"

"Speaking," the voice, now identified as Dr. Samuel Register, snapped.

"I'm calling about a friend of mine," Robin begain, not about to let the man's bad phone manners bother him, "I've been researching for hours, and his symptoms match the one's of the disease that you described in your research papers."

"I sincerely doubt that," the man said acidly, "I find it difficult to believe that a child would be able to read, much less understand, my research papers."

"I understood them fine, Dr. Register," Robin growled into the mouthpiece, starting to become annoyed despite his vow to not let the man bother him, "And there is a striking resemblance between one of your case studies of Sakutia and the symptoms my friend is showing. I just thought that you could help. I see now that I was wrong." Robin reached his hand out to hang up the phone.

"Wait," Register commanded. Robin stopped, leaving his finger poised above the switch, ready to disconnect, "What's your friend's name?"

"I'm not at liberty to disclose that information, doctor," the masked Titan replied.

"Dr. Register," the man on the end of the line corrected, "Then I'm not at liberty to help your friend. And believe me, if it's Sakutia he has, then he'll be lucky to survive for more than a week without my help." Robin sighed, defeated. This Dr. Register was the only man on the planet with any experience with Sakutia, and by now Robin was sure that this was the disease that Beast Boy had.

"Logan," he said quietly, "Garfield Logan. That name is not to be spread around, Dr. Register."

There was no reply from Register. The line had gone silent.

"Hello?" Robin said suspiciously. After a few moments, Register finally replied.

"I can be there in four days. Do not move him, do not call anybody else. Where is he now?"

"Jump City, California. The Titans Tower."

_Click._

Robin stared at the phone in his hands, horribly aware that he may have just made a terrible mistake.


	5. Above My Strength

_Ok, I know, it's been a really long time. But I do have an excuse...kind of. A case of super califragy listic sup-whatever, a case of monstrous writer's block. There were a lot of hours put into this chapter of staring at a blank screen:D._

_I took the title for this chapter from a really beautiful quote, which goes as follows: _"_Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible._" _I'm not sure who said it, but I really like it:D._

_Anyways, I opened a dA account recently, and I've got a (pretty good, in my opinion:D) picture of Beast Boy and Raven, check it out! The link's on my userpage thingy. My username's the same on dA as it is here:D._

_Ok, what else? Oh, I don't own the Teen Titans, or Kraft Dinner...ummm...I think that's it..._

_Thanks for all of your reviews, and for continuing to read my story! I hope to hear from you all again! _

_Enjoy!_

_-Liss_**

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**Chapter Five. Above My Strength.**

"So," Raven began as her surroundings melded into a stark white laboratory, a sharp contrast to the African rainforest she'd been standing in only moments before, "Where are we now?" Beast Boy had taken them into another memory, this time intentionally. Ignoring her question, he pulled her behind one of the glass counters and crouched low to the ground.

"What are you doing?" Raven sighed as she knelt beside him.

"Can they see us?" the green Titan asked her nervously, indicating a couple of white-robed scientists conducting some type of experiment in the corner.

"No, this is a memory. We're only observers," she answered, then added with a hint of incredulity, "It's a good thing too. You do realize that we're hiding behind a _clear_ glass counter?"

"Oh yeah..." Beast Boy peered through the glass at the scientists and blushed sheepishly. Raven stood, dragging him up by the collar of his uniform.

"Where are we?" she asked him again.

"We're still in Africa," he answered, twisting his head from side to side in an effort to locate whatever he'd brought them here for, "At my parents' research station."

"Alright," Raven drolled, wondering what he was looking for, "When are we?" She followed him to the other side of the room, where there was a small medical bay complete with two beds and some very complex equipment.

"Umm..." Beast Boy disappeared underneath one of the beds. His voice was muffled slightly when he called up, "About a week after the monkey thing." She could hear him rummaging around. _What is he doing?_ She wondered, starting to grow impatient. Suddenly his head popped up from the other side of the bed.

"Ok, this is the one," he announced brightly, as if the statement should mean something to her, "I wrote on the frame when I was four."

"You're telling me this because...?" Confused, Raven gave him a blank look as he pulled himself off the floor using an IV stand.

"They're gonna use that one when they come in," he said, flopping down on the other bed with a thud, "We should sit on this one." He sounded cheerful, but she could feel his anxiety. He was dreading whatever he knew was coming.

"When who come-" she began but was interuppted by the woman that she knew to be Beast Boy's mother rushing into the lab with young Gar in her arms, followed closely by a tall, dark haired man. The small boy was shaking in his mother's arms, and his skin was wet with sweat. The woman placed him on the bed that Beast Boy had said she would, and began hooking him up to various machines. The scene before her was eerily reminiscent of Beast Boy's collapse in the tower and the Titans' mad dash to the medical bay.

The two scientists who had been in the corner abandoned their experiments and came over to the medical area. The dark haired man began giving out orders in a choked voice. Raven stepped, unseen by the newcomers, away from the bed that Gar was placed in and sat next to Beast Boy.

"This is the same thing that you have n-" she stopped midsentence as she saw that he was showing the same symptoms as his younger self, his body remembering exactly what it had been through. His eyes were shut tight against the pain of the illness. He hugged himself tightly, looking as though he was trying to hold himself together with his hands. Calling up her powers, she moved behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. Gradually he stopped shaking enough to talk.

"Thanks Raven," he shivered slightly, sweat beading on his skin, "I'm sorry...I thought-I didn't remember it being so...bad."

"It's ok. No problem," she breathed, teeth clenched with the effort of healing him. The pain Beast Boy was remembering didn't stop, so she had to continually take it away from him. She couldn't take all of it from him though, and she suspected that the pain he was feeling was much more intense than what she was experiencing.

"Who is that?" she asked him, nodding towards the dark haired man who was now searching desparately through the cupboards that lined the walls of the lab. Beast Boy opened his mouth to answer, but instead began to cough violently as his younger counterpart's tiny frame was wracked by a couging fit. Raven moved her left hand to his chest and let the blue light emanating from her hands reach into his body and ease the coughing. Her arms now wrapped around him, she allowed her power to flow through him as he gasped for air.

"That's my dad," he said in a hoarse voice once he had caught his breath, "He's looking for – uhn," Beast Boy let out a grunt of pain and doubled over, head between his knees. The moniter hooked up to young Gar began beeping wildly. Raven increased her efforts in healing Beast Boy even as his parents frantically tried to stabilize their tiny son.

"He's dying Mark!" his mother cried to her husband as she compressed the boy's chest.

"Here," the dark haired man, Mark, had found the object of his search, a needle filled with a bright green serum, "Hold him down! I have to give him the serum!" The little boy was now in the throes of some kind of seizure. Raven had managed to spare Beast Boy from this, anticipating the convulsions and healing them before they had started. She could only do so much though, and he was still shaking and sweating and probably in a considerable amount of pain.

Raven watched as Mark Logan skillfully slid the needle into the twitching boy's vein and injected the serum into his bloodstream. There was a moment's peace, a calm before the storm, where the child lay still and Beast Boy was relieved from his remembered suffering. He sat up, straightening his back and bracing himself for what he knew was coming.

And then Raven, through Beast Boy, was rendered senseless by a blast of pain like none she had ever felt before as the serum coursed through the veins of the young Gar Logan. The shapeshifting Titan was hit with the full force of the pain.

A thrice echoed scream of agony rent through the memory of a dark African night, torn from the lips of a disease ravaged child, the daughter of a demon, and the green skinned teen she held in her arms.

**

* * *

**

It felt as though every single cell in his body was trying to escape, trying to break away from him. He was paralyzed with the pain, couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe. He heard screaming. The blond child, so young, so small, was screaming in anguish. The boy looked familiar. He tryed to think, tried to remember, but his thoughts were jumbled by the pain. There was a girl too...behind him, holding him...she was screaming. He wanted to take her pain away, wanted her to stop hurting...who was she? He should know this...she was...

Screaming. Hurting.

Raven.

She was trying to heal him...it was too much for her.

"Stop," he grunted, forcing the words out, choking back another cry. She didn't move. She couldn't. The pain was too great, even for her.

Beast Boy knew that it wouldn't last long, knew that it would be over soon. He could bear it by himself, just for a few minutes. He couldn't ask her to take this pain for him. He wouldn't let her. Ignoring his own agony, he pushed her away from him, breaking their connection. Unable to catch herself, she fell off the bed and onto the cold linoleum floor. She lay there, unmoving, eyes shut tightly against the pain she had absorbed from him.

_Let her be ok. Please, _he begged silently, not knowing to whom he addressed his desperate plea. After a few seconds, she blinked slowly drew in a deep, shuddering breath. Her eyes locked on his, and she knew that she couldn't help him. Her gaze was fixed on him, and she lay as though in a trance, unable to move as she watched him shoulder a burden that was too heavy for her to take away from him.

Without her healing, the searing pain increased tenfold. Beast Boy was beyond passing out. He wished he could, wished the torture would end. Electricity was flowing through his veins, stopping his heart, seizing his lungs. His blood boiled, his skin was crawling, his insides were attempting to vacate his body.

Across from him, he could see his younger self writhing in pain, face contorted in an expression of intense suffering. He could see his mother comforting the blond little boy. Beast Boy knew what was coming, knew that the pain would be over in mere moments.

As he watched, green pigment stained the fair boy's skin, spreading outward from where the needle had entered his arm. The color rippled through the child's body, covering every last inch of him, changing the blue of his eyes, overpowering the blond of his hair. His parents watched in horror as they witnessed the transformation. Mark Logan looked from his young son to the needle in his hands, guilt etched into his features as he watched Gar struggle against both the disease and the cure.

With a final agonized cry that tore through the boy's vocal cords, Gar's small body arched against the bed and he collapsed back into the sheets.

Sitting on the edge of the other bed, Beast Boy, whose muscles had been rigid throughout the ordeal, sagged and began to tip headfirst towards the ground. Raven had recovered and put a hand out to stop him. He was quivering, his muscles beyond his control. As he weakly leaned into her, she healed him, removing the last traces of the pain from his body.

"Don't-" he tried to stop her, but she just ignored him. Too weak to protest, he let the soothing glow wash over him. He was already forgetting the pain from just a few moments ago. He looked over Raven's head to where his parents were checking young Gar's vital signs.

_This is way too weird, _he mused, watching his father draw blood from his younger self's arm and feeling the needle slide into his own vein. He couldn't help but look down at his arm, even though he knew that he was just remembering what the needle had felt like.

"Are you ok?" Beast Boy's thoughts were interuppted by Raven as she finished healing him. He experimentally twisted from side to side. When he felt no discomfort from the motion, he nodded cheerfully and stood, helping her up as he did.

"Are _you_ ok?" he asked her, noticing that she swayed slightly as she rose.

"I'm fine," Raven answered, brushing off his concern "So that was-"

"Sakutia," came the voice of Mark Logan from behind her. Beast Boy and Raven turned to watch the rest of the memory unfold.

"Marie, we just successfully treated Sakutia," Mark said excitedly. Marie was cradling their son, rocking gently back and forth in an effort to entice Gar to sleep. The other two scientists, a man and a woman both in their forties, stared dumbstruck at the green boy.

"He's green," the man said.

"Ooh, he's a bright one," Raven said under her breath.

"But he's alive," Marie said tenderly, tears beginning to form in her eyes, "We did it Mark." Mark bent over to kiss his wife on the forehead, and ran a hand through his son's hair. Beast Boy felt a pang of longing, which he quickly pushed away.

"You supressed the disease-," the male scientist stated, "But for how long? How long will it remain supressed? How long before it resurfaces?"

"I'm not going to try and pretend that I know what we're dealing with here," Mark answered without taking his eyes off of Gar, "But we'll deal with it when it comes. This was a temporary solution. Marie and I are still trying to find a complete cure."

"You can't just keep giving him the serum," the scientist said, not knowing when to stop, "It'll kill him faster than the disease. It will destroy his body."

"We won't need to," Mark replied, an angry edge beginning to creep into his voice, "Theoretically the dose that we just gave him could last for years, possibly even decades."

"Decades of living as a freak," the scientist said viciously, "You turned him green. As if he wasn't enough of a oddity already, training with that tribe and always messing with the lab equip-"

"That's enough," roared Mark, turning away from Marie and Gar. Beast Boy blinked stupidly. He hadn't realized just how much he remembered. He'd never remembered anything like this happening, had never thought that anybody had ever said such cruel words about him. As his father reamed out the scientist, the scene before them began to grow hazy.

"What's going on?" Raven asked as the room grew dark and then brightened again. Smiling despite the fight that was going on over Gar's newly colored skin, Beast Boy pointed at his younger self. The tiny green boy's head was drooping. Every now and then he would jerk his head up and open his eyes wide in an effort to stay awake, but the small boy was losing his battle to exhaustion.

"I'm falling asleep," Beast Boy laughed.

"Could you possibly take us somewhere where you aren't about to pass out?" Raven asked, trying not to smile at the sight of the young boy trying to hold his head up. Beast Boy nodded, searching his mind for a safe place to take them. It only took him a few seconds to come up with an idea. This time he wouldn't take her to the memory of an event. He'd take her to the most amazing place he'd ever seen.

Closing his eyes he focussed, not on any particular memory of the place, but rather the smell, the taste, the sounds, the feelings he got whenever he went there. He hadn't been in years, since before he quit the Doom Patrol, but the memories came flooding back as though he'd never left.

Opening his eyes he found himself surrounded by a dense fog that he knew would clear as the sun rose over Cape Town. The city sprawled out far beneath him, mostly hidden from view by the fog. He breathed in deeply, the sharp tang of the ocean air stinging his nostrils, the low density of the air this high up making him slightly dizzy.

God, he loved this place.

Turning to Raven, he spread his arms wide as if he was trying to embrace the mountain, the ocean, and the city between them.

"Rae," he said with infectious enthusiasm, "As your personal hero, I'd like to be the first one to welcome you to Table Mountain."

"Yay."

**Will You Follow?**

"What the hell's taking her so long?" Alarmed by Cyborg's sudden outburst, Starfire looked up from the cooking instructions on the side of the Kraft Dinner box she held in her hands. It had been over 24 hours since Raven had entered Beast Boy's mind, and Starfire had only now been able to convince Cyborg to leave the medical bay and get something to eat.

"I too am curious to know why Raven has yet to return," Starfire said in a soothing voice as she shook the box and listened to the contents rattling inside. She had never prepared this dish before and wasn't sure what to expect.

"I mean, how long does it take to ask him what's wrong with him?" Cyborg muttered. Realizing just how hungry he was, he began to dig through the cupboards for something to eat.

"When Raven and I do the meditation together, time becomes...strange," Star answered as she peeled back the top of the box, "Many hours may pass without notice, or it may feel like days when it has only been minutes. Presumably it is the same in this case." Looking into the box, she saw many tiny tubes inside. She picked one up and examined it closely, delighted by the hollowed out crescent.

"Well I wish she'd hurry up in there," Cyborg grumbled from underneath the counter. Starfire popped one of the tubes into her mouth, her eyes widening with surprise as it crunched between her teeth.

Cyborg continued as he rummaged through old bags of chips, unopened boxes of cereal, and a ludicrous amount of soda, "And where's Robin? I haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon." Starfire's hand, which had been on its way to her mouth with another one of the tiny tubes, flared with green energy for an instant, flashing in unison with her eyes.

"He is in the room of records," she replied softly, still upset with Robin's decision. The tube in her hand was charred black, but she found that it tasted even more wonderful that way. She was elated to find a small package inside the box when she reached for another tube.

"He's been in there since yesterday? What is he doing?" Starfire opened the package to find a fine orange powder inside. This must be the 'pasta' of which the directions on the box spoke. The powder, when mixed with water and milk, must form a sort of paste with which she could put the tiny tubes together.

"He is doing what he deems to be right," she answered non-commitally as she poured water, milk, butter, and the powder into a pot and placed it on the stove. For good measure, she added a cup of salt to the mix before turning the burner on high.

"Which is...?" Cyborg had given up on finding anything beneath the counter and was now raiding the fridge.

"Research," she said shortly, distracted by the fact that the orange paste was beginning to boil over the edge of the pot. Cyborg could tell she didn't want to talk about it. He'd just have to ask Robin about it later.

"I didn't know we had sour cream," he said, having come across a container of it, "Do you know if we have perog-ugh!" He gagged at the noxious odor coming from the container as he opened it. Star peered over his shoulder at the substance.

"Is sour cream not supposed to be white?" she inquired, wrinkling her nose at the black ooze before her, "Perhaps it has soured too much?" She went back to her concoctions as Cyborg tossed the toxic waste in the garbage, then resumed his search for food. Half of the stuff in the fridge was tofu. _Who'll eat this shit if_...he quickly pushed the thought from his mind, ashamed that it had even surfaced.

"I have crafted our dinner!" Starfire announced happily. Cyborg turned to see what she was talking about. The smiling alien proudly displayed her masterpiece, a mound of uncooked pasta covered with orange goo and sculpted into what he guessed was some kind of flower.

"Uhh..." Cyborg was rendered speechless by the monstrosity before him. Parts of the orange goo had been burnt to an ominous shade of black, and what wasn't burnt was beginning to congeal as he gazed at it in horror.

"Will you not try some?" Star asked as she scooped, with some difficulty, a large portion of it into a bowl. Cyborg took the bowl from her cautiously. _What the hell,_ he thought, raising a spoonful of the stuff to his mouth, _Nothing like a healthy dose of raw macaroni to satisfy your hunger._

Just then Robin walked in and sat on the couch in the common area. Cyborg had never been happier to see the masked midget in his life.

"Where have you been?" he asked, placing his bowl back on the counter and sitting next to Robin.

"Researching," Robin echoed Starfire's earlier answer.

"Researching what?" Robin didn't answer, so Cyborg rephrased the question, "What have you been doing?"

"Cyborg, I-I think that I..." Robin trailed off, bringing one hand to his forehead. Something was bothering him. Starfire had come to stand behind the couch, concerned.

"What do you think?" she prodded gently. Robin looked up at her. He felt the same way as he had after the Red X debacle; guilty and ashamed. This time he wouldn't lie to them though. He had screwed up, and he had to take responsibility.

"I think that I did something...wrong," he admitted to them, grateful for the mask that allowed him to avoid their eyes.

"Like what?" Cyborg asked, genuinely curious. If Robin was admitting to making a mistake, it must have been a big one.

"I found out what's wrong with Beast Boy-"

"But that is joyous news!" Starfire interupted him, "Now we may treat whatever ails him!" Robin shook his head.

"That's the thing," he explained, "Sakutia-that's what it's called-has only been treated successfully once, and that was with Beast Boy. Apparently he's had a relapse."

"So why can't we give him whatever cure he got before?" Cyborg asked, wondering how Robin could possibly think that discovering Beast Boy's disease was wrong.

"Because the formula for it was lost after the first time they used it on him," Robin said.

"How did you discover this information?" Starfire asked, feeling bad about being angry at Robin for hiding out in the room of records.

"I...uh...I read Beast Boy's private file," he waited for Cyborg and Star to berate him for breaching the Titans unspoken agreement of confidentiality.

"This is what you feel the guilt for?" To his surprise, Starfire was giggling. He looked at Cyborg, expecting him to be angry.

"I don't think he's gonna mind if it helps us to find a treatment," Cyborg grinned, "Besides, B did the same thing to Raven on her birthday, remember?"

"That's not all I did," Robin continued, relieved that they weren't mad at him. He didn't want to tell them the rest, but he knew that he had to. Maybe they'd understand the rest of his actions. Maybe.

"What?"

"Please tell us Robin."

"I called a doctor," he said slowly.

"So?" Cyborg was looking at him like he was completely mental.

"Umm, I kind of...told him Beast Boy's real name," Robin winced at their reactions. Starfire had straightened abruptly at his words, eyes glowing. Cyborg had clenched his fists and stood angrily.

"You what?" he yelled, "Why?"

Robin began to stammer an answer, but was cut off before he could finish.

"Why the hell would you do that?" Cyborg shouted. Starfire's eyes had gone back to their normal color, but she was still clearly upset.

"I had to, he wouldn't le-"

"What right do you have to go around telling people that?" Robin was starting to get angry with Cyborg.

"What right do _you _have to judge me for doing the only thing that I could do to save Beast Boy's life?" he yelled, forgetting the feelings of guilt that had been plagueing him since his conversation with Register, "This guy is the only person in the world with any experience at all in treating Sakutia, and he wouldn't help us unless he knew Beast Boy's name. I did what I had to do, ok? I had no choice."

"How could you Robin?" Starfire's softly spoken question pierced through the shouting. Robin, who had stood up to face Cyborg, stopped and stared at her. Her disappointment hurt him more than anything else, more than Cyborg's anger, more than his own shame.

He was trying to find the words to explain himself to her when the alarm began to ring throughout the tower.

"Trouble," Robin walked across the room to the door. When he realized that Star and Cyborg weren't following him, he stopped and turned to them.

"We cannot leave our friends helpless against enemies," Starfire pointed out to him. _Great, _he thought, _now I seem like even more of an ass, not thinking of Beast Boy and Raven. _Even so, he knew that they had to go. Jump City was calling the Titans, pulling them away from their own problems to protect its citizens, to defend its streets.

"We can't just-we have to-" Robin stammered, unsure of what to do. Starfire and Cyborg didn't move.

Jump City was calling the Titans.

And with two of their members defenseless and unable to fight, the Titans couldn't answer.


	6. Who You Choose To Be

_Okay, I've said it before, but I'm saying it again: That took waaaay too long. But, in all fairness, I've been writing all of my provincial exams for the past three weeks, so I haven't really had time for the stuff that I like to do. _

_On a side note, Table Mountain actually is a real place:D. I know, I didn't believe the name when I came across it either, but it's a real place in Africa. Who'da thunk it?_

_Anyways, sorry about the wait, hope you enjoy the latest installment of You Save Me. Thanks for reading!_

_-Liss_

* * *

**Chapter Six. Who You Choose To Be.**

"Table Mountain?"

"Yup."

"Table..."

"Mm-hm."

"...Mountain?"

"You got it," Beast Boy grinned at Raven's disbelieving expression.

"And that's it's actual name?" she asked.

He nodded brightly.

"And this is an actual place?" she continued, "It's not just some figment of your imagination?"

"No, it's not just a figment of my imagination," he replied testily.

"And it's called," she paused, as though trying to make sense of the name, "_Table _Mountain?"

"Yes," he sighed, exasperated.

"Well, that's..." she trailed off, searching for the appropriate word, "...different."

"It's totally flat on the top, that's why they called it Table Mountain," Beast Boy explained, then gestured to the picturesque city that sprawled out far beneath them, "And that's Cape Town. We're in South Africa."

"It's..." Raven gazed over the sparkling ocean and breathed in the clear air, inwardly rejoicing at the salty breeze that stung the skin on her face, "Nice." Beast Boy flashed a toothy grin in her direction before sitting at the edge of the cliff and swinging his legs over the side. Raven did the same, surprised at how warm the rock was from the sun's glow.

"This is my favorite place in the whole world," Beast Boy said softly, drawing one knee to his chest and casting a glance in her direction, "Besides home, I mean." Raven could feel her face flushing under his gaze and turned her face towards the city so he wouldn't see cheeks turning red. She'd never noticed before how brightly the sun reflected in his green eyes, how he always had a small smile whenever he spoke of something that he cared about, how he always wore that same smile whenever he looked at her. Now she was noticing. His smile, his eyes, his laugh, even the words that he spoke held more value to her now than they ever had before.

"Why's that?" she asked as she tilted her head down to look at Cape Town, letting her hair fall over her face.

"My parents used to take me here," he replied wistfully, "Like on vacation and stuff. The first time we came was a research trip for my dad, but he liked it so much that we came back at least once a year after that." The orange African sun had begun to approach the horizon, sending brilliant colors dancing over the ocean and sky.

"So why did you bring me here?" she asked him, not unkindly. She was truly curious as to why he'd chosen this place instead of the tower.

"I just-you know, wanted to show it to you," he muttered, "We can go if you don't-"

"No," she cut him off, aware that he had misinterpreted her question, "It's great. I just wondered if there was something specific you wanted to show me." She leaned back on her hands, closed her eyes and let the last of the day's sunlight wash over her as her cape fell back from her body. Beast Boy didn't say anything. Worried that he was angry at her, she opened one eye and glanced at him. No longer looking at the sunset, he was now staring at...her. Raven glared at him, secretly pleased. He blinked and turned his head sharply towards the ocean view, clearly embarrassed at being caught.

**

* * *

**

"Uh, no...no, nothing specific," Beast Boy stammered, mortified that she had noticed him staring at her, "It's just a nice view...um, the ocean I mean. The ocean's really, uh, pretty...and the sunset, and..." He continued to spout off random descriptions of the scenery, inwardly cursing his stupidity. It wasn't like he'd never seen what was beneath her cape. Hell, he'd seen her without the cape plenty of times. That wasn't what had rendered him momentarily breathless when he'd looked at her.

She'd looked so peaceful, and almost happy in that instant. Leaning back, legs dangling over the cliff, pale skin glowing in the orange light of the sun, she was...beautiful. He'd always thought that she was beautiful, but never more so that in that second. And then he'd gone and screwed it up by staring at her like some hormone crazed, pre-pubescent middle school jackass.

Now she glared at him as he blathered on about-god, he'd lost track of what he was saying. He tuned back into the words that were spilling out of him.

"Yeah, the last time I was here was with the Doom Patrol and I just thought that it would be nice to come back and I thought that you might like it and nothing bad ever happened here and you lookied like you needed a rest because of the whole healing thing and..." he trailed off from his ridiculous monologue, partly because he was running out of air, but mostly because he saw that the corners of her lips were twitching. Her brow was still furrowed in a vicious glare, but she was almost smiling.

"So you brought us here because it has...," Raven raised an eyebrow and allowed one corner of her mouth to turn up in a playful half-smile, "...a nice view?" Beast Boy shrugged and grinned sheepishly, leaning back into the same position that she was in.

"That, and I figured it would be a good place to talk," he glanced sideways at her, "Since there aren't any pyschotic monkeys or mad scientists around." They sat in silence for a minute, watching as the sun drew nearer to the horizon. Beast Boy braced himself to say what he'd brought them here to say.

"I always assumed that you turned green when you got your powers," Raven broke the silence, "But I guess it was that-whatever it was that your father gave you." Beast Boy gulped, unnerved at how close she'd come to what he needed to tell her. To make her understand.

"I did turn green when I got my powers," he told her.

"So you got them from that serum?"

"No," he replied, "The serum turned me green..."

"And your powers?"

"They're from the disease," he said, "Nobody's ever lived past the first few weeks of the disease, so nobody knew what it really did to them."

"Oh," Raven sat up and crossed her legs, "So if we do manage to cure you..."

"I'll lose my powers," he finished for her, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hands, "But it doesn't matter, because there is no cure. I won't lose my powers." _I'll just die, _he thought.

"Don't be so stupid," she said, suddenly angry, "Take us back to the lab. We'll just get your father's notes on the serum and I'll show Cyborg and Robin how to make it."

"You heard that guy back there," Beast Boy shook his head, "He was a dick, but he was right about one thing. The serum will kill me faster than the disease would. And besides, you probably wouldn't see anything but blank paper. I never read my dad's notes." As he said the words, he was struck by the finality of them. This was it. He was really going to die. He would never see his friends again, never fight as a Titan again, never...

There were so many things, so much that he hadn't done, and now all that was waiting for him was...nothing. It was all over.

"I wish this had never happened to me," he said bitterly, "I wish I'd never got my powers. I could fight. I could've been a Titan without my powers. A normal Titan, not just the green guy. I could've been like Robin."

"What's wrong with being you?" Raven asked him softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Beast Boy looked at her, surprised. He didn't know what to say.

"Beast Boy, with or without your powers you're an important part of the team, whether you realize it or not," she continued, "And there's no way that any of us are just going to give up and let you...we're going to find a way to fix this. We care about you. All of us."

"Even you?" he asked her with a wry grin.

"Even me," Raven admitted. Beast Boy's breath caught in his throat and his heart began to pound a little. Her hand was still on his shoulder.

"I knew it," he flashed her his most charming smile, "I'm irresistable."

"Don't push it," she said, giving him a light shove with the hand that had been resting on his shoulder.

"Raven?" he spoke lightly, trying to come off as nonchalant.

"What?" she leaned back on her elbows.

"I'm glad you're here." There was a moment's pause.

"Me too."

**Painful Realizations.**

"But we can't-you can't just..." Robin spluttered, "...not go. We have to help." The red light blinking in time with the alarm cast dark shadows on the faces of his friends.

"No," Cyborg replied, still fuming over what Robin had just told them, "What we can't do is leave B and Raven totally alone when they're both unconcious."

"You guys can't be serious," Robin pleaded, looking from one stern face to another. Starfire wouldn't meet his gaze, averting her eyes to the floor. Robin could see that they were glowing green through her bangs. After a moment's silence, he realized that he wouldn't be able to convince them to leave. His breathe caught in his throat and there was a bitter taste in his mouth. They weren't coming.

"Fine," he snapped, "I'll go alone." Turning abruptly on his heel, he stormed across the room and wrenched open the door.

"Robin," Starfire shouted after him, but he was too angry to stop. Blood boiling, he grabbed his helmet and slammed the door behind him. Starfire and Cyborg flinched as the walls rattled with the force of his anger.

"He cannot face battle alone," Starfire said softly, forgetting her anger, "He could be injured." Cyborg nodded silently in agreement. As pissed as he was with Robin at the moment, he would never want to see him get hurt.

"You stay here with B and Raven," Cyborg went to the computer and entered some complex codes, "There, the security system's at maximum."

"And you will aid Robin?" Starfire hugged her arms close to her chest, "Are you certain that the two of you alone will have sufficient strength to prevail?"

"We'll be fine," Cyborg grinned back at her as he opened the door, "Don't worry."

"It is not for you and Robin that I worry," Star whispered to herself as Cyborg closed the door. She walked down the hall, intending to go to the medical bay, but instead found herself outside Beast Boy's room. What once was his door was now a twisted hunk of metal resting against the wall. In the chaos of the past few days, nobody had taken care of it. Starfire stared from the deformed door to the mess in Beast Boy's room. After a moment's hesitation, she went into the room and began to sort through the disaster. Spurred by a desperate energy, she wallowed through dirty laundry, hundreds of video games, dvds, and cds, old pizza boxes, wads of kleenex, and clumps of discarded paper. Suddenly she stopped. This wasn't right, what she was doing. Beast Boy's room was his room, and this was how he kept it. He liked it that way. Abandoning her attempt at cleaning, she went to work on the door, laying it on the floor in the hallway and pounding on it to flatten it.

An observer would think that the young alien was practicing for a wrestling match the way she was beating on the door. With each hit, Starfire increased the strength she used, until her blows shook the very framework of the tower. She knew that she was done, the door was as flat as it would ever get, but she couldn't stop. She had never felt so helpless, so useless. Finally, out of breath and hands raw from the metal, she stopped. Crawling off of the door, she leaned against the wall and began to cry.

**

* * *

**

_Who the hell are they to judge me? _Robin fumed as he sped through the streets of Jump City. _Where do they get off being so damn high and mighty? At least I did something. At least I'm trying to help Beast Boy. Just because they're willing to sit back and watch him d- _he cut the thought off before he had fully registered it. There was no way that he was going to lose a member of his team. If he could retrieve Raven from the depths of hell, he could find a way to save Beast Boy. He had to.

Hearing a familiar engine behind him, Robin glanced over his shoulder to see Cyborg following him in the T-car. At that moment his communicator began ringing. He flipped it open angrily.

"What?" he asked as Cyborg's face appeared on the screen.

"Just wondering where we're going," Cyborg replied. Robin could tell that even though Cyborg was coming, he was still furious. Oh well, this wasn't the time to argue. They could do that later.

"The bank," he said shortly and snapped his communicator shut. It started ringing again.

"What?" he growled at Cyborg.

"Who's robbing it?"

"All I know is that it's just one person."

"You don't know who?"

"No," Robin shut his communicator again and sped up. He hadn't gone three blocks when it began ringing again.

"Holy persistance Batman," he muttered under his breath, then opened the communicator for the third time and snapped angrily, "I don't have time for this, we're almost at the bank. You can yell at me when we get there."

"Robin?" came Starfire's small voice. Robin sighed inwardly.

"Sorry Star, I didn't mean-I thought it was Cyborg," he explained awkwardly. Looking at her face in the communicator, Robin noticed that her eyes looked swollen and her face was red. Had she been crying?

"There are no apologies required Robin," she smiled slightly and sniffed.

"So..." Robin prompted, "Why are you calling? Is there something wrong? Is Beast Boy-"

"He is fine," Star interupted him, "He is...the same."

"So why-"

"I have called because I am sorry," Starfire cut him off again.

"Huh?" He hadn't been expecting that.

"You were trying to help Beast Boy," she continued, "And we were angry because of it. I was wrong. And I am sorry." Robin wanted to ask her what had changed her mind, but they'd arrived at the bank.

"Thanks Star," he said gratefully, "But I've got to go now." Police cars surrounded the building, their lights flashing. Cyborg stepped out of the T-car and stood beside him silently.

"What's the situation?" Robin asked the nearest officer.

"Some idiot with a gun's got the place locked up," the small man replied, "He's got some hostages in there."

"How many?" Robin peered intently through the windows, trying to catch a glimpse of the criminal inside.

"Eight," the officer motioned for the two of them to follow him, "Five employees and three-hey, where are the rest?"

"The rest?" Cyborg feigned ignorance.

"You know, the girls and the little green guy," the officer looked to the sky, "Are they flying in?"

"They're busy," Robin said shortly, pulling Cyborg aside to discuss a strategy, "We can't just barge in. We don't want to scare him into shooting an innocent person." After a few minutes of deliberation, they had come up with a plan.

"Hope this works," Cyborg muttered as he watched Robin scale the side of the building with acrobatic ease. Within seconds of him disappearing from view, the inside of the bank was filled with thick black smoke from one of Robin's birdarangs.

"There's my cue." With those words, Cyborg switched to the thermal camera in his electronic eye and ran into the building. He could see the eight hostages cowering in a corner and the gunman frantically trying to figure out where the smoke was coming from. Aiming his cannon at the gunman, Cyborg was just about to shoot when he saw another figure drop in from the skylight and tackle the gunman.

"Robin," he shouted, furious that he wasn't following the plan. The gunman, hearing Cyborg's shout, aimed towards the noise and fired. Somebody screamed. An instant later, the gunman was down, knocked out by a blow from Robin's staff.

The smoke was beginning to clear, and Robin saw the hostages huddled together behind the counter.

"Is everybody ok?" he asked them. They looked around, bewildered, and slowly all of them nodded.

"Cyborg?" Robin called, unable to see his teammate throught the haze, "Cyborg? Are you ok?" Suddenly a bright shaft of light penetrated through the last of the black smoke, and Robin saw Cyborg's silouhette as he exited the bank.

"Alright everybody, let's clear out of here," Robin instructed, grabbing the criminal's gun and tying him up. The hostages stumbled out of the building and ran into the crowd where their loved ones were waiting. Robin scanned the crowd for Cyborg, finally spotting him by the T-car.

"Cyborg, wait," Robin called as he ran up to him, "Are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm just great," Cyborg replied angrily, his voice rising, "Except for this nice big hole in my damn arm." He held up right arm to reveal where the bullet had torn through his sonic cannon. Black liquid dripped slowly from the wound, and every now and then a spark flew from one of the loose wires. Robin stared, shocked at what had happened, and said the first thing that came to mind.

"Can you drive?" Cyborg's eyes grew wide and he seemed to swell with indignant anger.

"Can I drive?" he said slowly, "CAN I DRIVE?"

"Uh," Robin started to back away.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Cyborg shouted, "You got me shot, and all you can say is can you drive?"

"I'm sorry, I-"

"I don't want to hear it," Cyborg snapped, "You're really on a roll today, aren't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin stood up as tall as he could to look directly into Cyborg's eyes. Their shouting had attracted the attention of the crowd outside the bank.

"It means that you're losing it," Cyborg growled, "First you go blabbing Beast Boy's real-"

"You need to get off that," Robin said, now yelling louder than Cyborg had, "I had to do that."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," the metal Titan muttered, turning to leave.

"No," Robin shouted, then repeated softly, "No. Whatever helps Beast Boy survive this." Cyborg stopped with his hand on the door of the car. Robin seemed to deflate, all of the adrenaline from the fight rushing out of him.

"Cyborg...he could really die from this," he said, finally voicing the thought that they'd all been pushing away for days, "I don't-I didn't know what else to do." Grateful for his mask, he could feel his eyes burning with latent tears. Cyborg, head bent low, didn't say anything.

"C'mon, you're hurt. I'll drive," Robin blinked ferociously as Cyborg handed him the keys, "I'll just tell them to send my bike to the tower." After a quick word with the officer they'd talked to before, Robin hopped in the driver's seat of the T-car and started the engine.

The ride home was silent, each of them too deep in their own thoughts to converse with eachother. As they crossed the water to the island, Cyborg sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm sorry Rob," he said.

"Yeah. So am I," Robin replied.

"Don't tell B that I let you drive," Cyborg said, trying to lighten the mood, "I'd never hear the end of it." Laughing at this, Robin was distracted when they pulled into the garage. The T-car was always parked in the same spot, and he pulled into it, not really paying attention.

"STOP STOP STOP," Cyborg cried, grabbing onto the wheel. Robin slammed on the brakes, stopping just short of running into an unfamiliar black SUV. Cyborg let out a small moan of relief. Robin switched off the engine and the two of them got out of the car.

"Who are you?" Robin demanded of the middle aged man that stepped out of the SUV.

"Yeah, who are you?" Cyborg echoed when the man didn't respond. The man acted as though he hadn't heard them, leaning into his vehicle and grabbing a briefcase and several black canvas bags. Only after the man had gathered all of his things and set them on the ground in front of the two young Titans did he answer.

"I am Dr. Register," he said, his voice dripping with arrogance.

"You're early," Robin said stupidly, surprised at the Register's sudden appearance.

"Where is the Logan boy?" Register, ignoring Robin.

"He's upstai-" Robin began, but stopped short as Register turned and walked away from them. Cyborg raised an eyebrow at his friend, amazed that Robin was taking Register's superior doctor act without protest.

"I guess we're supposed to take his things," Cyborg muttered, indicated the equipment that Register had left in front of them.

"I guess so," Robin grabbed as much as he could and followed Register towards the medical bay.

* * *

_I seem to work alot better when I give you guys a timeline, so I'm going to say that I'll have the next chapter up within a week:D. _

_-Liss_


	7. Too Easy To Lose

_Haha, yes! I actually wrote this one on time:D. This pleases me._

_A little bit of RobinxStarfire found it's way in there...hmmm...how did that happen? Not that I dislike the couple, I love it, but I've never really written it that much. Oh well, there's a first time for everything I guess:D. Hope it isn't too painful for you to read._

_I also managed to stick a little teeny tiny bit of BBxRae fluffiness...don't blink, you'll miss it:D._

_I want to say a HUGE thank you to all of my reviewers. You guys are friggin awesome! You Save Me currently has 103 reviews :O. I am shocked and delighted. Again, big thanks to all of you reading and reviewing! I appreciate it so much!_

_Anyways, I'll shut up now, thanks again! Oh, and by the way, I don't own Teen Titans...I just like to beat on them a bit:D._

_-Liss_

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Seven. Too Easy To Lose.**

"With three Titans absent and one Titan injured at the shootout this afternoon, is Jump City facing the loss of its young protectors?" the anchorwoman sounded grave, but there was a vicious glint in her eye that betrayed her glee at a good story, "Here we have some footage, taped by a civilian present at the scene, of the events that unfolded earlier today. As you can see, only Cyborg and Robin were present at the shootout. Where Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire were, we can only speculate, but it appears that Robin and Cyborg could have used some hel-" Robin switched off the television in disgust.

"Perhaps you should hire a public relations consultant," came Register's arrogant drawl from the table where he had set up his laptop and research equipment.

"Perhaps you should shove it up your-ow! Man, that hurt," Cyborg grumbled as Robin kicked him in the ankle, then turned back to repairing his arm. Starfire stood in the kitchen, arms crossed, glaring suspiciously at Register.

"You have come to help our friend," she began in her most commanding tone, "For this reason alone, I tolerate your unkindness towards us. But know that you are speaking with people that have saved the world countless times. And do not forget it." Her eyes were starting to glow an unusually deep shade of green by the end of this speech. Robin stared at Star, marvelling at her indignant fury. She was glory, she was passion, she was anger and fear, joy and sorrow, innocence and love; she was indomitable, she was unquenchable, but most of all, she was the one person who made him feel like he had to be more, and at the same time that he was all she could ever want or need. She was his, he was hers, and he loved her, like he had never loved another. His heart swelled with pride for her and it seemed as if he could burst with loving her. Just with seeing her.

"She's right doctor," he said, tearing his eyes from her, "We may be young, but we're not idiots, and we deserve some respect from you."

"Dr. Register," the doctor corrected absently, ignoring their anger. Starfire unclenched her fists, which had just moments before been containing some particularly strong starbolts. Shaking with rage and thanking X'hal that nobody had noticed the starbolts, she inhaled deeply. She looked to Robin to see what he would say to the rude doctor. The masked Titan was staring at the ground, an odd expression that she didn't recognize on his face. He must have been angry with her for raising her voice at Dr.Register. He had worked so hard to get the doctor to come here, risked so much, and she was behaving like a child. No wonder Robin was mad at her. Blinking back tears and wishing she could restrain her emotions like Raven, she silently left the room.

"Whatever," Cyborg muttered as he tried to sort out the tangle of wires hanging from his arm, "Dr. Register. Are you planning on actually doing something, or are you just going to sit there all day?" He wasn't surprised when Register didn't answer him.

"Stupid arrogant prick..." Cyborg's voice trailed off into a low mutter as he recited all of the obscenities he could think of. Register ignored him, doing-well, whatever it was he was doing. The metal Titan couldn't imagine what could possibly be taking him so long over there amidst all of the lab equipment that he, Robin, and Starfire had set up under Register's watch.

"Where did Starfire go?" Robin asked him. Cyborg shrugged, concentrating on welding a minute wire back together. He was trying very hard to aviod replacing the wires, a process that would take the rest of the day.

"She was just here," Robin continued, twisting his head around, "I didn't even see her leave." Cyborg grunted noncommitally, moving on to the next wire.

"Did you see her leave?" Robin asked, still looking around the room as though he thought she might be hiding somewhere, "Cyborg?"

"Here's a revolutionary concept," Cyborg took a moment from welding and turned his head to look at Robin, "Look for her."

"Oh. Uh, yeah," Robin scratched the back of his head and looked at the ceiling, "Ok. Sure, I could do that I guess. Sorry." Cyborg turned back to his arm, shaking his head and smiling slightly as Robin went to search the tower for Starfire.

* * *

"Starfire?" Robin knocked lightly on open door of Star's room before sticking his head in. Seeing that she wasn't there, he went to the medical bay. He found her there, adjusting the blanket she'd draped around Raven's shoulders the night before. She didn't look up when he came in. 

"Star?" he stood across the bed from her, "Are you ok? You left pretty quickly." Starfire sniffed lightly and began straigtening the sheets that covered Beast Boy.

"I am fine," she replied after a moment. Robin didn't say anything, just looked at her. She'd been crying.

"I am fine," she repeated after a few minutes of silence, as if trying to convince herself. Robin glanced at the machine displaying Beast Boy's vitals, then back to the Tamaranean princess.

"I am fine," Starfire said loudly, "I-I am..."

"Fine?" Robin finished, reaching across the bed and placing his hand on hers. She looked at him, tears welling up in her eyes. She tried to say something, but the words caught in her throat and a strangled sob was the only thing that escaped. Robin walked around the bed to stand beside her, aching with her pain. Turning towards him, Starfire buried her face in his neck and began to cry, all of the emotions of the past few days flooding from her. Arms wrapped around eachother, they sank slowly to their knees. They remained that way, Robin gently stroking her hair, until her sobs faded into soft hiccoughs.

"I am sorry Robin," she whispered. Robin pulled back from her, confused.

"Huh?" he asked, perplexed, "For what?"

"For-" Starfire began, then started over, "You are angry with me, are you not?"

"What are you...why would I be-what would make you think-" he stuttered.

"You...are not angry with me?" Starfire sniffed, "Truly?"

"No, I'm not," Robin smiled, "Why did you think I was?"

"It does not matter," Starfire smiled back at him, "Let us forget it."

"I couldn't be mad at you. Star...I think-" Robin stood and helped her up, "I think we...I think that I-"

"Sorry man, that's not the way it's going to happen," Robin was interuppted by Cyborg as the huge Titan stormed through the door of the medical bay after an enraged Dr. Register, "He's staying here. That's not an option."

"What's going on?" Robin demanded, unnerved to see the rage in Register's eyes.

"Your doctor friend here says that he has to take B to some hoity toity clinic to treat him," Cyborg glared menacingly at Register, loose wires still hanging from his arm.

"No," Robin shook his head, "He stays here. Cyborg's right. That isn't an option."

"I can't treat him here," Register growled, "So if you want your friend to die, by all means, keep him here."

"Fine," Robin replied, "Then we're going with you."

"My clinic is in a private location," Register shouted angrily, "You can't go."

"Then there's no way in hell that Beast Boy's going," the masked Titan pounded his fists together in emphasis.

"You will treat our friend here," Starfire's voice cut through the room, great and terrible in its icy calm . Cyborg and Robin stared, dumbfounded. The Tamaranean's eyes were glowing a shade of green so bright it was almost white, and the heat emanating from the starbolts that had formed in her hands was making the room temperature uncomfortable. In that moment, she was no longer Starfire, Teen Titan. She was Koriand'r, heir to the throne of Tamaran. "If you find that you require more equipment, we shall obtain it for you. You will stay here with him until he is well, and then you will leave with our gratitude and never return. _This is not a request._" Eyes flashing, Register turned on his heel and left the medical bay.

"Well, I'm impressed," Cyborg grinned at Starfire, who was now blushing furiously.

"One must know how to command if one is to rule an entire people," she explained. She turned to ask Robin what he'd been about to say when Cyborg and Register had entered the room, but he was already gone.

* * *

_Wind. And rain, so much rain. So dark, not even lightning to illuminate the empty lot. Where is he? A green flash in the distance, and he is running towards it. It is in a forest, and somehow the trees do not protect him from the rain and the wind. On the contrary, the storm is worse here. The branches are creaking, straining under the force. The rain cuts his skin, bites at him like so many knives stabbing his flesh. He stumbles, he cannot find a foothold in the ankle deep mud. The rain is pounding him now, the drops are heavy, leaving behind angry red welts. Still he runs, though the branches scrape at him, though the wind buffets him off course, though the rain whips him harshly. He is so close to the green glow. _

_And then it is white, and he is blinded by the brightness. And she is there, and she is beautiful and terrible. He falls to his knees, awestruck by her glory. _

"_...never return...never return..." she repeats, over and over, in that icy cold voice. He is shivering. He looks into her eyes, and she is no longer who she was. She is killing him, destroying him with her eyes. And then he is free from her, he is on a rooftop, looking over the ocean. The rain is gone, the wind is gone. The sun beats down on him, but he is cold. He is shaking._

"_Hey Robin," he looks to see Beast Boy is standing beside him, wearing a long blue cloak._

"_Beast Boy? What are you doing here?" _

"_I just came to say that I'm not mad at you. You know, for telling my real name. It's okay." The cloak is turning black. _

"_But you're sick-you should be in the medical bay." Beast Boy shakes his head._

"_Nah, I'm fine, I was just kidding about that." The cloak is dripping, dripping black at the bottom. It falls back. There is a gaping wound on Beast Boy's chest. Sparks are flying from it, and wires are hanging loose. Beast Boy sees him looking at the wound._

"_What, this? Dude, this is nothing. It doesn't matter, I'm already dead." Beast Boy is smiling, laughing._

"_No," he whispers, "You can't be." Beast Boy is nodding, the blood is dripping from him. Raven is there, taking back her cloak, giving it to Slade. And then she is Cyborg, aiming a handgun at him. Pulling the trigger._

Robin woke in a cold sweat, wrapped in the bedsheets on the floor. Trying to remember the dream that had woken him, he untangled himself from the sheets and grabbed his mask from his bedside table. All he could remember was a gunshot, a bloody wound, and those eyes, those eyes that were hers, but not. He shuddered as he pulled on a t-shirt and walked towards the kitchen.

After pouring himself a glass of water, Robin let the tap run and splashed a little on his face. He was about to return to bed when he heard a voice coming from the medical bay.

"What are you doing?" he asked when he got there, seeing Register rummaging around in the dark.

"Some bloodwork," Register replied unexpectedly, "Tests. I need to see how fargone he is."

"Oh." Robin yawned widely and tried to cover it up, embarassed. It was bad enough to be seen in his pajamas-Superman boxers given to him by Starfire and a Batman t-shirt from Gotham; he didn't need to seem like he was some little kid who had stayed up too late.

"It would help if she wasn't in here," Register grumbled, indicating Raven.

"Deal with it," Robin said as he leaned against the doorframe.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Register asked, his voice condescending. Robin cracked his knuckles leisurely.

"I'll just wait here with you," he said casually, settling into a more comfortable position, "Bloodwork has always fascinated me." The doctor glared at him, poison in his eyes, and gathered all of his equipment up.

"I'm finished," he said as he walked past Robin, "I'll be with the rest of my equipment, doing the analysis." Robin watched his retreating form until he turned out of sight. When he was sure Register wouldn't be coming back, he slipped a motion sensor under one of the consoles and pointed it at the door. If anybody came in, he would know.

"Just in case," he whispered to himself, and went back to his room.

**If I Could Have.**

The sun was long gone, and the moon shone brightly over Cape Town. It was still warm, but the warmth was now that of a summer night, the gentle breeze carrying with it the faint memory of the day's heat.

"So tell the viewers at home Raven," Beast Boy joked in his best impersonation of a talk show host and shoved a stick in front of Raven's mouth, "Will Cape Town and Table Mountain merit an entry in Azarath's Guide to Earth?"

"Yes," she said seriously, "In the 'Absolutely Do Not Visit' section." Beast Boy dropped his jaw in mock horror, and Raven grabbed the stick away from him. Some corner of her mind whispered that she was losing control, she was taking this too far, but she pushed the thought away.

"Hey, give that back," he laughed as she levitated away from him. He jumped up and grabbed onto her leg, sending her tumbling on top of him.

"Oops," he let out a nervous giggle, "Uh, sorry." Raven rolled off of him and stood up, her face flushed. She hated how much he made her feel. It scared her, it overwhelmed her. Here, in his mind, the veil of grey was gone, had dissipated. She hated how much he made her want to feel, to abandon all precaution, to just _be_, and forget about the consequences. _But you can't_, the voice whispered, emerging from the shadows.

"It's ok," she muttered, pulling up the hood of her cloak, "I actually enjoy falling on my ass."

"Sarcasm, right?"

"Mm-hm," Raven turned to look at him. She could feel herself pulling away, distancing herself. It shouldn't bother her, this was who she had to be, but she found herself wishing that she could be more like Starfire, wishing that she could feel without restraint.

"Did you hear that?" Beast Boy had gone pale and was frantically scanning the sky, looking for something.

"Hear what?" Raven looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"That-" Beast Boy kneeled and pressed his hand to the ground, checking for vibrations, "There was a voice. You didn't hear it?"

"I don't know what you're talking ab-" Beast Boy interuppted her by putting a finger to his lips.

"There it is again," he said eagerly, "Listen!" Suddenly the scenery around them began to change, shifting and melding. They were back in what Raven now recognized as the jungles of Upper Lamumba.

"Why did you bring us back here?" she asked.

"I didn't," Beast Boy replied, clearly shaken, "Or at least I didn't mean to. It sort of just...happened." They were in a clearing, and there was a small cabin at the Northern end of it. Mark and Marie Logan came out of it holding hands and laughing, young Gar Logan, now completely green, trailing behind his parents.

"When is-" Raven stopped at the pained expression on Beast Boy's face. He looked like he was going to be sick.

"Oh no," he whispered, his voice cracking, "I can't-I don't want to see this."

"Let's just go then," Raven pulled her hood down, "Take us somewhere else."

"I...I can't."

* * *

_Idiot, _Beast Boy berated himself as Raven pulled up her hood, _Way to make things awkward._

"Sarcasm right?" Beast Boy attempted to joke. He couldn't see Raven's reaction under the shadow of her cloak.

"Mm-hm." Suddenly the wind changed. No longer warm and inviting, it became cold and menacing.

"...your friend to die..." a familiar voice drifted in on the wind, so quiet he could barely hear it, "...keep him here."

"Did you hear that?" he asked Raven. He couldn't quite place the voice. All he knew was that it terrified him, sent shivers running up his spine.

"Hear what?"

"That-" Beast Boy crouched and pressed his hand to the ground. He didn't feel anybody approaching, "There was a voice. You didn't hear it?"

"I don't know what you're talking ab-" Raven began. Ears pricked, listening for the voice, he heard it again and silenced her with a finger to his lips.

"...private location...," the eerily familiar voice floated by on the cold breeze, "...can't go..."

"There it is again," he said, desperate for her to hear it, "Listen!" The voice faded, and the moonlight of Cape Town began to fade, darkening into the deep shadow of another African night in Upper Lamumba.

"Why did you bring us back here?" Raven asked him.

"I didn't," Beast Boy replied, clearly shaken, "Or at least I didn't mean to. It sort of just...happened." He recognized the clearing they were in, and the cabin at the Northern end of it. This was where he and his family had lived, long ago. As he watched, his parents walked out of the cabin hand in hand, followed by his younger self. The knowledge of what night this was hit him the force of a train. He looked down at his gloved hands. This was the night, this was when everything fell apart.

"When is-" Raven took one look at his face and stopped.

"Oh no," he moaned in a whisper, "I can't-I don't want to see this."

"Let's just go then," Raven pulled her hood down, "Take us somewhere else." But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't. Some part of him wouldn't let go, couldn't let go. He was drawn to it, he couldn't get away. He had to see, had to know, had to remember exactly what happened that dark night so long ago.

"I...I can't," he murmered softly.

"Why?"

"I just-" he tried to explain, to make her understand, "I have to see it." She nodded, and stood closer to him, allowing him to lean into her without being too obvious. He had never been more grateful to her than in that moment. She didn't ask what it was he had to see, or why he had to see it, just stood beside him and watched the events unfold.

It happened just as he remembered it. One minute he was outside with parents watching a small bonfire crackling merrily, the next, they were surrounded, fenced in by dozens of soldiers.

"What is the meaning of this?" Beast Boy heard his father demand as he pulled his wife and child behind him.

"Just give us the boy Mark, and we'll go," came a cruel voice from the shadows.

"What the hell are you talking about Samuel?" Marie scooped Gar up in her arms and stood as tall as she could. Beast Boy swallowed hard. He missed her so much.

"He's a biological hazard," the voice came again. Beast Boy couldn't see the owner's face, "He could infect countless people."

"That's preposterous, and you know it Samuel," Mark scoffed indignantly, "He's months past the contagious stage of the disease. He couldn't possibly infect anybody."

"Precisely," the voice, Samuel, switched tactics, "That is why we must take him. To study him, to find out how he survived."

"You are not taking our son," Mark shouted, advancing towards Samuel. Beast Boy knew what would happen next, but couldn't look away, no matter how much he wanted to. The crack of a gunshot pierced the night, silencing the wildlife for miles around. Beast Boy let out a strangled cry. He didn't really notice when Raven wrapped her hand around his, was barely even concious of squeezing her hand back. Blood dripping from a hole in his chest, Mark dropped to the ground as Marie screamed. Still holding onto Raven's hand, Beast Boy walked slowly towards the group of people gathered around the bonfire. There was nowhere he wanted to be less than this place, but he couldn't help it, he had to get closer. Had to see it all. Tears were pouring down Marie's cheeks, but she still stood defiantly, clutching Gar in her arms.

"Give him here Marie," Samuel's voice was threatening, "You might still be able to help Mark. Or you can join him. It's your choice."

"Fine," her voice was steady, despite the tears, "Just let me say goodbye to him." The soldiers held aimed their weapons at her. Samuel raised his hand.

"I'll give you five minutes," with those words, Samuel and the soldiers backed up to give the three Logans space. Marie put Gar down next to Mark and checked her husband's pulse. Beast Boy could feel hot tears streaming down his own face. He knew that she would find nothing. Marie hung her head, still crying without making a sound. Despite the fact that Beast Boy and Raven were about twenty feet away from Gar and Marie, they could hear every whispered word spoken between them.

"Is dad ok?" the little boy asked.

"Garfield, you need to change," Marie ignored her son's question.

"Change?" Gar sounded confused. Beast Boy recalled that his parents had always told him to keep his shapeshifting abilities a secret in front of other people.

"Shhh, honey, not so loud," Marie's voice was frantic, "These are bad people. They want to hurt you, but they don't know that you can change. You need to change into a bird and fly. Fly far away from here. Go to King Tawaba, he will protect you."

"What about you?" Beast Boy clenched his teeth, a torrent of memories flooding through his mind. He pushed them away, not wanting to accidentally go to another memory. He had to finish this.

"I'll be fine," Marie whispered, smiling as she stroked her son's cheek, "When I say go, you change and you fly away as fast as you can. Don't look back." Gar nodded solemnly. Marie smiled again, and laughed gently through the tears. Beast Boy remembered this well. He remembered her smile, her laugh, her tears, her smell, for it was the last he would ever see of her.

"Go," she whispered. A small green sparrow burst up from the clearing. The soldiers all fired simultaneously. Marie fell, still smiling. Raven squeezed Beast Boy's hand. A tear fell off of his face, landing on her cloak.

"MOM," Gar had changed back into his human form and dropped back into the clearing, screaming for his mother. The young boy ran towards his fallen parents. He never made it. Four soldiers tackled him, one of them injecting him with a sedative. As Gar lost conciousness, the clearing fell away around Beast Boy and Raven, leaving them in darkness.

* * *

"Beast Boy?" There was no answer. 

It was so dark. She couldn't see him, couldn't see herself. She was still holding his hand. He was shaking.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, "I had no idea. None of us did." He didn't say anything. Grasping in the dark, Raven found his other hand and took it. She heard Beast Boy inhale sharply, and then let out a slow, shuddering breath. And then he was crying, sobbing uncontrollably into her hair, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. She put her arms around his waist, holding onto him tightly.

"It was all my fault," he gasped through his sobs, "I should have just gone with them to start with. I should have-" He broke off, leaving his sentence unfinished.

"No," it tore her apart to see him like this, so weighted down by unneccesary guilt, "No, your parents wouldn't have let you. Listen to me, this is the truth. What happened back there...it wasn't your fault." Slowly at first, and then faster, the darkness melted away, and they were back in Beast Boy's tower. Beast Boy pulled away from her and turned away, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. To give him a chance to regain his composure, Raven sat on the couch and looked intently out the window. After a few minutes and some cold water splashed onto his face, he came and sat next to her.

"Sorry," he said, sniffling.

"Don't be," she smiled at him. He let out a laugh that sounded almost like a sigh and pulled his knees to his chest. They sat in silence for a while, each deep in their own thoughts.

"So," Raven began, not wanting to ask, but knowing that she had to, "What happened...after?" Beast Boy looked up, surprised that she had actually asked.

"That guy-Samuel or whatever his name was-took me to some lab in the states," he shuddered, pushing away the memories of his days in the lab. That was something that he refused to revisit, in any way. "They did experiments on me."

"What did they-"

"Tests. Strength, speed, endurance. Bloodwork. Tissue samples," Beast Boy said, hugging his knees closer to his chest, "Stuff like that." He let his knees drop and removed his gloves. Raven could feel her eyes widening, but didn't say anything. The skin on his palms was mangled and scarred, the tissue knotting over itself and twisted.

"They wanted to test my pain tolerance," he answered her unasked question, "They wired my hands to a conductor and ran electricity through me. It-it burnt the skin on my hands." Raven took one of his hands and ran her fingers over the mottled skin. She fought to control her breathing, anger pulsing through her towards the man that had done this to him.

"How long?" she asked, barely able to conceal the fury in her voice, "How long did they keep you there?"

"I guess...I guess it would have been almost two years," he said quietly, "I escaped. I met the Doom Patrol a couple of years later, and they took me in. Helped me." Raven clenched her fists until her nails dug into the palms. _Azarath Metreon Zinthos, Azarath Metreon Zinthos..._ she took in a deep breath, _calm down. There's nothing you can do now. It's over. It's done. There's no point in being angry. You can't change anything that happened to him in there. _

Within the space of a few seconds, her anger evaporated. She couldn't think about being angry, because what she was seeing took precedence over anything that she felt.

"Raven?" Beast Boy's voice was concerned, "You ok?"

"Beast Boy..." she choked, "Look at yourself." He looked down and jumped. He was...fading. Literally. Raven could see the couch through him.

"What's happening?" she asked him.

"I think I'm-" he patted his torso lightly with a translucent hand, an odd calm to his voice, "-I think I might be dying."

**

* * *

**

"Robin," Cyborg shouted, jarring the masked Titan from sleep, "Get up, we've got to get to the medical bay."

"Nnng," Robin groaned and opened his eyes, "Whafor?"

"It's Beast Boy," Cyborg's words had the effect of ice cold water on Robin's drowsiness.

"What?" Robin demanded, jumping out of bed, "What's wrong with him?"

"He crashed," Cyborg's voice shook, "His heart stopped."

* * *

_Ack! Please don't murder me:D. Refer to my words at the end of chapter two!_

_Poor Star and Rob. Their whole relationship is just one big misunderstanding after another...and it's not because Star's an alien. Robin's a dope, that's what it is:D._

_Thanks for reading!_

_-Liss_


	8. Until Now

_Holy camolies, that took a while:D. Sorry, I've been tres busy with school the past few weeks, start of a new semester and all. But the main thing is that I did get chapter eight finished...eventually:D. _

_Again, big thanks to readers and reviewers, you are all very much appreciated! _

_Yeah, still don't own Teen Titans...oh, and I don't own ER either._

_Enjoy!_

_-Liss_

* * *

**Chapter Eight. Until Now.**

"Get her out of the way," Register snapped at Starfire as he set up the defibrillator. The young alien, barely able to see through her tears, gently lifted Raven from under Beast Boy and set her on the other bed.

"Please, what is happening to Beast Boy?" Starfire expected no answer from the doctor, and so wasn't surprised when she received none. It terrified her, seeing her friend like this, hooked up to countless wailing machines, the color slowly seeping out of his face. She didn't know what was going on exactly, only that there was the possibility that they would lose the small green Titan, that he wouldn't wake up. There was a low buzz in her ears, she felt like she was going to be sick, her throat was closing off. Through hazy eyes, she saw Robin and Cyborg enter the room, both out of breath from running.

Cyborg watched the scene unfolding before him numbly, not believing what he was seeing. That wasn't Beast Boy in the bed, it couldn't be. Beast Boy was laughter and pranks and tofu and video games and more alive than anybody he'd ever met. They'd fought together countless times, and won against every opponent. This couldn't beat him, this disease. Beast Boy was his best friend. He couldn't lose this battle.

Register placed the paddles of the difibrillator on Beast Boy's chest, fully charged. Cyborg was surprised; it was nothing like in the movies. There was no "clear", no violent convulsion. The only thing to indicate that a huge charge had just passed through Beast Boy's body was a slight tensing of his muscles. Nothing on the moniters registered the shock. It hadn't worked. Register turned and began regharging the defibrillator.

_Please work_ three Titans prayed wordlessly as they watched the doctor try and bring their friend back from the one place they couldn't follow.

**

* * *

**

"I think I'm...I think I might be dying." Raven didn't move. Didn't breath. She couldn't. If she did, she'd lose it, she'd explode with emotion, right here in Beast Boy's mind. How could he be so calm? How could he say it like that, as if it didn't bother him. He was disappearing, being drawn away from her by some force more powerful than any other existing. She shook her head sharply and took a deep, shuddering breath as she tried to regain some form of control.

"How can I stop it?" she asked, more to herself than to him. Her mind raced with hundreds of spells, spells she'd learned on Azarath, spells she'd learned from Arella, even spells that Malchior had taught her, anything to stop it, to save him.

"I don't think you can Rae," he shrugged. His voice sounded far away, as though he were speaking through a wall of fog.

"I have to," she choked, her voice cracking, "I won't let you-"

"I don't think it's up to you," Beast Boy said gently, "I don't think it's up to anybody anymore."

"How can you be so willing to die?" she whispered angrily, turning her face away from him, "How can you give up so easily?" She felt his hand on hers, his touch barely more than a memory of what it should have been.

"I'm just trying to-" he paused, swallowing hard, "-to make this easier for everybody. I don't _want_ to die Raven." She looked into his fading eyes and saw that they were watering. He was fading, but there was still that fire in him, in his eyes, all around her. She knew he didn't want to die, but she had never expected him to be so ready for it. He wasn't acting like his normal self, laughing and joking and trying to lighten the situation. He had...grown up over the years, more than anybody had noticed. He was trying to die with some dignity, and she was just making it harder for him.

_Oh well, _she thought, _he'll get over it. Trigon damn me, but there's no way in hell that I'm going to make it easy for him. I won't let him go without a fight. _

"I'm sorry Garfield Logan," she said with renewed determination, "But I'm not going to sit here and let you die." Beast Boy smiled at her and squeezed her hand. She barely felt it.

"I know Rae," he whispered, drawing her close to him and wrapping his arms around her, "I didn't think you would." When had he grown up so much? How had they not noticed it all this time?

"I don't know what we'd do without you," Raven buried her face in his neck and closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want to see what was happening to him.

"You'll be fine," he pulled back from her. She opened her eyes to see that he was almost completely gone.

"Gar-"

"Tell the others-," he took a deep breath and smiled again, a single tear falling down his cheek, "Tell them that I-"

"No," Raven shook her head, "I'm not telling them anything."

"Raven, I need you to listen to me, before it's too late" Beast Boy said adamantly, "I need you to say goodbye to them for me. Tell them that I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys about this before. I didn't want you to think I couldn't fight. Tell them that being a Titan was the best thing that ever happened to me. Tell them-" He suddenly broke off and looked down at himself in surprise. His legs and lower torso had completly disappeared, and the rest of him was swiftly following.

"Goodbye Raven," he said, his voice echoing as though it had to travel a great distance to reach her, and then he was gone.

**

* * *

**

_Well this is...odd, _Beast Boy gazed at his surroundings. He could still see...well, maybe that wasn't the right word for it...he was still _aware _of Raven's soul self within his mind, trying desperately to bring him back to her. What he could see was...well, very odd. He was in the medical bay, in the actual tower. Cyborg was there, and Robin. Star was there too. She was crying, leaning against the bed that Raven's unconcious form occupied. There was another man there too, an older man, bent over the other bed.

Beast Boy saw himself, lying there, the stranger shocking his body with those paddle things that he'd seen on ER so many times. Heard the machines around the room beeping, all heralding the failure of his body. He could feel something pulling at him, dragging him away from it all. It was strong, stronger than his own will, stronger than his friends' grief, stronger even than Raven's furious struggle to save him. Fighting the force that was taking him away from all he knew and loved, Beast Boy saw the man deftly pull out a vial of silver fluid from his back pocket and inject it into his veins. Suddenly the pull stopped, and he was jerked back into his body. Opening his eyes, he looked around the medical bay and saw something that made his heart skip a beat. The man standing over him, the stranger, the ghostly voice he'd heard on the wind at Table Mountain, the man in the shadows who had ordered the murder of his parents.

It was Register. Samuel Register. Beast Boy tried to cry out, tried to tell his friends what was going on, warn them not to trust Register, but the tube in his throat made it impossible for him to speak. He couldn't tell if Star, Robin, and Cyborg even knew he was awake. They all had their heads lowered, looking away from him. Did they think he'd died?

"Remember me?" Register whispered viciously, too quiet for anybody but him to hear. With those words, the doctor injected him with a second serum, and Beast Boy slipped back into unconciousness, unable to do anything to stop it.

* * *

"Well, he's stable," Register muttered as he recorded information into the computer he had set up in the ops center, "For now. I need to take him to my facility for further treatment." 

"We already went over this," Robin snapped, still reeling from the near loss of his friend, "He stays here." Cyborg and Starfire nodded in support.

"He'll die here," Register yelled, "You saw that. You saw how close he just came to dying. I'm telling you boy, he will die unless I can treat him properly. And I can't do that here." Starfire and Cyborg came to stand on either side of Robin.

"That's bullshit," Cyborg growled, "We have the most advanced medical technology available here. You can't tell me that you can't find what you need."

"I can, and I am," Register snapped, "You're being idiots. You want your friend to die? Fine. I'm leaving." Slamming the door furiously behind him, he stormed out of the room.

"Wait! You can't go, we're not finished," Robin shouted after him, then turned to Cyborg and Starfire, "What do we do?" The two of them looked at him and said nothing, unused to him asking them for instructions.

"I don't know man," Cyborg finally said, "I just-I don't trust that guy."

"I do not believe him to be worthy of the trusting either," Starfire spoke softly, "But perhaps we must if we are to see Beast Boy well once more."

"No," Robin said abruptly and began to pace, "Cyborg's right, there's something weird about this guy. I don't think we can trust him."

"Why the change of mind?" Cyborg asked him curiously. Robin was the one who had hired the psycho after all.

"I never trusted him," Robin reminded his teammate, "He was necessary to help Beast Boy. But I'm starting to think-" he broke off and sat in front of one of the ops center's giant computer screens.

"What are you looking for?" Cyborg stood behind him.

"I'm just..." Robin squinted up at the screen, "There was just something that didn't feel right about what just happened."

"You mean besides the fact that B almost died?"

"Yeah," the masked Titan replied, "I mean, did you see that vial of stuff that he injected into Beast Boy? He must have known that it would work from the beginning. So why did he even bother to use the defibrillater?"

"What are you saying Robin?" Starfire floated up to the screen, "That this doctor is trying to bring harm to Beast Boy?"

"I'm not sure Star, but last night he was in the medical bay, doing something...I don't know what, but he said it was bloodwork," Robin continued to type rapidly, "But I don't believe that for a second, because he did the bloodwork when he first came here, so why would he need to-" Robin stopped abruptly, staring up at the screen, a horrified expression spreading across his face.

"What?" Cyborg gazed up at the screen, reading the article that Robin had called up.

"Oh god," Robin whispered, "I knew it. I knew that something wasn't right. Look, read here." Starfire and Cyborg looked to where Robin had pointed. After a moment, they both inhaled sharply as they read the article.

"Robin..." Starfire began as she sank to the ground, unable to maintain her flight after reading the information. How could she feel the joy of flight when something this horrible had been done to her friend?

"Heart failure isn't a symptom of Sakutia," Cyborg muttered after reading the list of symptoms of the disease, "So how did..."

"Register," Robin answered for him, "He injected Beast Boy with something, knowing what it would do. And he had another injection ready to start his heart again."

"Why would anybody do such a terrible thing?" Starfire murmered.

"So that we would agree to let him take Beast Boy to his facility," Robin slammed his fist into the desk, "He's wanted to take him all along. How could I have been so stupid? This is all my fault."

"No it's not Rob-" Cyborg was interuppted by Starfire.

"Where did the Doctor Register go?" she looked around, trying to recall which door he'd left the room through.

"He left," Robin indicated the exit, "I saw his car leaving the garage on one of the security cameras." At that moment, the ops center was filled with the shrill ring and flashing red lights of the alarm.

"Not now," Cyborg groaned, "Where is it?"

"Inside the tower. Somebody's here," Robin stood up and began running towards the problem, "In the medical bay."

"Beast Boy," Starfire and Cyborg breathed in unison, and followed Robin towards the medical bay.

**Disappearing Act.**

_Is this real? _Raven gazed at the tower around her. If Beast Boy had died, it shouldn't have been there. She shouldn't have been there. Her soul self should have been sent back to her body the moment he disappeared. If he was dead, she shouldn't be able to still feel his fire, searing through her, warming her gently. She'd tried, she'd tried so hard to bring him back to her. She'd tried every spell she could think of, for what seemed like hours, but it had been useless. Next to the power that had taken him from her, she was meaningless, insignificant.

"Beast Boy?" she whispered into the empty room, "Gar?" The only answer she received was silence. He wasn't there. He was gone. And she hadn't said goodbye to him, had been too stubborn to. Now it was too late. Too late to say goodbye, too late to tell him how much he meant to her. She could feel her throat closing off, her eyes stinging, tears welling in them. Trying to keep them from spilling over, she leaned her head back as far as she could, closed her eyes, and began chanting inwardly.

_Azarath metrion zinthos, azarath metrion...he's gone...azarath metrion zinthos, azar-you'll never see him again...azarath metrion zinthos...gone. _Raven squeezed her eyes tighter, trying to block out the flood of emotions that threatened to engulf her. She couldn't cry, she couldn't shed a single tear for him. If she let one fall, she wouldn't be able to stop it. _Azarath metrion zinthos. Azar-az...azarath... _and suddenly it was too much for her, too much to hold back. It would be wrong, not to cry for him. She sat there, tears streaming silently down her face, grieving for who he was, who he'd become during his time with the Titans, and what he could have been. What she could have been, what he could have done for her. What he'd tried to do so many times over the years.

"Raven?" Raven stood and whipped around to face Beast Boy's voice, moving faster than she ever had before, "God, I'm so glad you're still here, I-" he stopped as Raven let out a strangled cry and leapt over the couch to throw her arms around him. She could feel herself trembling, every part of her body buzzing with relief as she held him in a vice-like grip.

"I thought you were dead," she whispered into his hair, "I thought I'd never see you again." He was so solid, so real underneath her hands. She breathed in his scent deeply, etched his image in her mind, not wanting to forget it, not wanting to lose this moment. If she lived a beyond all the ages of all the worlds, if she lived to see the end of all things, she would always remember him like this, right here, right now.

"Raven, you've got to go," Beast Boy said urgently.

"But I-"

"No, you have to listen to me, before something happens," Raven stepped back from him, alarmed by the panic in his voice, "That guy, the guy back at the clearing...the one who killed my parents...Samuel Register..."

"What about him?" she asked, confused.

"He's here," Beast Boy sat on the back of the couch and crossed his arms, "I don't know how he found me, but he's in the tower. Raven, you have to go back and tell the others that they can't trust him. I don't know what he wants, but he's insane. He might hurt somebody. Probably me." Normally, Raven would have taken that last statement as an attempt at humor from Beast Boy, but the terror in his voice told her otherwise.

"How do you know?" she asked him calmly, trying to mask the fury that was boiling up inside her. If that...Register guy hurt any of the Titans, he would have to answer to her personally.

"I saw him in the medical bay," he told her, rubbing his eyes, "When I...er, died for a bit there, I was like...floating above my body or something. And then he injected me with something and I was back in my body, awake, and I saw his face. But I think he gave me a sedative or something, because I passed out again right after."

"It's ok," Raven crossed her legs and levitated in front of him, "I'll go and tell them." She closed her eyes and prepared to return to her body.

"Raven," Beast Boy grabbed her wrist, "Wait a sec." Opening one eye, she saw that his face was inches away from hers, and couldn't help it when the corners of her mouth turned up slightly.

"What?"

"Thanks," he murmered, "Thanks for coming in here. For coming after me."

"You're welcome," she replied, closing her eyes again.

"Raven?" Her eyes flew open to stare directly into his.

"Yeah?"

"I...um, I've been wanting to tell you..." he trailed off, blushing furiously.

"I know," she said, abandoning all pretenses of her usual detachment from emotion, "Me too." Leaning forward, she let her lips brush softly against the skin of his cheek. She could feel his eyelashes against her nose, fluttering rapidly. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity to her. It was barely even a kiss, but with it she displayed more affection than she ever had towards anyone in her life. She broke away as quickly as she'd come to him, leaving Beast Boy staring at her, speechless.

"See you in a bit," she smiled at the stunned youth and closed her eyes once more.

"Yeah...see you," Beast Boy grinned stupidly, but she had already gone.

* * *

"Raven!" Raven was greeted by Starfire's relieved cry as she woke, "Raven, I am very pleased to see you awake."Something wasn't right. The room was cold, freezing. Starfire...there was something different about her voice, something in the way it wavered. 

"What's wrong?" she was sitting up within seconds, the blood rushing to her head. Starfire's hair billowed in the wind. _Where was the wind coming from? _Raven saw the cause quickly. The huge window that covered the entire western wall of the medical bay was shattered, glass strewn haphazardly on the linoleum floor. "Where's Beast Boy?" Starfire hesitated for a moment, then started talking faster than Raven could keep up with.

"You were gone and Robin found a doctor for the Sakutia and the doctor injected Beast Boy with a serum of terrible consequence and his heart ceased to beat and then the Doctor Register gave him a second serum and then he wanted to take Beast Boy from our home but we would not allow such a thing and then the Register left the tower and now Beast Boy is gone," Starfire wailed in one breath.

"What?" Raven shouted, panic rising in her chest, "But that's impossible, I was just with him." Seeing her cloak folded neatly on the bedside table, she grabbed it and fastened the clasp around her neck.

"Perhaps the time was behaving strangely as it does when we do the meditation," Star said meekly.

"Shit," Raven cursed, throwing off the bedsheets, "Shit. Was it Register?"

"We have determined that it could have been no other," Starfire nodded, "Robin and Cyborg are searching the city for him." Raven jumped off the bed and levitated over the shards of glass towards the door, followed closely by Starfire.

"Register won't be in the city," she growled, blasting the door off its hinges with a stream of dark energy.

"Fear not friend," Starfire moved beside her, "We will find him, I am sure of it." Raven shook her head angrily.

"No, you don't understand Star," she turned on the optimistic Tamaranian, tendrils of dark energy creeping from underneath her cloak, "This guy, this doctor...he knows Beast Boy. He's taken him before, experimented on him. He did terrible things to him. We can't let that happen again."

"Ex...experiments?" Starfire shuddered, vague memories of seemingly endless torment flashing through her mind.

"Cyborg," the two of them had reached the ops center, and Raven was now standing in front of the massive communications screen, "Cyborg, you there?"

"Raven?" Cyborg's face splashed onto the screen, "You're awake?"

"No," she replied, voice dripping with sarcasm, "Just get back to the tower, you're wasting your time."

"But we're looking for-"

"You won't find him. We need to regroup and start over. Get back here," she barked, then added for good measure, "Now." Cyborg nodded and switched off his communicator.

"Where is he Raven?" Starfire asked, her green eyes glowing fiercely at the thought of Beast Boy being experimented upon.

"I wish I knew."

* * *

"Good afternoon Mr. Logan." Beast Boy groaned and opened his eyes to see Register looming over him. He was strapped tightly to a cold metal table, his arms and legs stretched out. His first urge was to scream, to try and run, to cry and beg for mercy, but he wasn't going to give the bastard the satisfaction of knowing that he was terrified of him. Not after he'd just seen his mother standing up to Register til the moment of her death. 

"Afternoon Sam," he said lightly, concentrating on keeping his voice steady. He looked around the dank room, "I see you're as successful as ever."

"Doctor Register," the older man growled.

"Nah, you'll always be Sammy boy to me," Beast Boy grinned up at him, taking pleasure in the anger that was beginning to distort his features, "So how did I get so lucky as to be here? Don't tell me that nobody was voluteering for such a glamorous job, because I don't believe that for a second."

"Keep it up _Beast Boy_," Register spat, "You won't be so cocky when the procedures start." Beast Boy yawned theatrically, trying to keep the terror from showing on his face.

"So...," he began nonchalantly, "I assume since I'm not dead that you fixed me?"

"I was able to isolate the parts of the virus that caused the fatal symptoms and eliminate them."

"You found the cure then. Congratulations dude, you managed to discover in twelve years what my parents did in a week. Awesome," Beast Boy piped, "I guess you don't need me anymore then, seems like you've got a pretty good understanding of Sakutia. I'll just be going then, if you'd unstrap me, that'd be great, thanks." Despite his fear, Beast Boy had to hold back laughter at the look on the doctor's face.

"You are the link between animal and man," Register seethed, "There is so much more to be understood about you." _Ah well, it was worth a shot._

"So...do I still have my powers?" Beast Boy strained to see the color of his skin, which wasn't difficult as his arms were completely exposed above the medical gown he was wearing. _Yep, still green._

"Yes. But don't even think about shifting," Register grinned maliciously and pointed to a thick black band around Beast Boy's left wrist, "A handy little device I...received from S.T.A.R. Labs." _Received, _Beast Boy thought cynically, _Yeah, just like you 'received' me from Titans Tower. Dick._

"What does it do?"

"I imagine you'll find out soon enough."

* * *

_Yeah, another chapter:D. Did you think I was done?? You guys never believe me, I told you I wouldn't kill off Beast Boy! (But I'm sure he appreciates all of the reviews begging me to keep him alive...'twas most kind:D)_

_-Liss_


	9. Of Reconciliation and Recognition

_One word...FINALLY! I am very, very sorry! The only excuse I have is that I was trying to get ready for midterms, which as good an excuse as any I suppose:D. _

_Anywho, this chapter is by far the longest I've written, so maybe it'll make up for the long wait. Or maybe it'll just be annoyingly long to read, I don't know:). And also, I'm sorry, I don't know exactly what the heck happened here. There is a lot of...Robin, in this chapter. That was rather unexpected. Actually, most of this chapter was unexpected, if I'm being perfectly honest with you, but I think it came together okay._

_A massively huge thanks to all readers and reviewers, as always, I really appreciate it and am extremely grateful! Thanks again!_

_What else what else what else? _

_Oh yes, I don't own Teen Titans. Or do I?...no, I don't. :)_

_Enjoy!_

_-Liss_

* * *

**Chapter Nine. Of Reconciliation and Recognition.**

_Okay, just breath_, Robin tried to calm himself as he walked through the dark streets of Jump City with his head lowered, _Nobody could possibly recognize you. It's highly unlikely that anybody can even see you_.

"Why am I doing this?" he whispered to himself, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. There was something to be said about completely ditching his mild-mannered citizen alter-ego, but he had to admit that it was nice to be able to wear something other than tights for once. He had snuck out of the tower, dressed in the casual clothes that he kept for emergencies. The Titans had stayed up late into the night, poring over security footage from that afternoon in an attempt to locate where Register may have taken Beast Boy. Raven had been the last to fall asleep, shortly after three. She'd spent the whole night trying to find Beast Boy psychically, to no avail. The green Titan was too far away.

And now here he was, unmasked, approaching a phone booth in downtown Jump City. This was their last chance, and even though he flinched at the idea of doing so, he picked up the phone, slipped in a quarter, and dialed the number almost instinctively.

"Wayne residence," came a familiar voice. Robin had to smile at the words he'd heard the old butler speak so many times while living in Gotham. If there was one thing he missed about that life, it was Alfred.

"Hey Alfred," he said, leaning into the booth, "It's me-Dick...uh, Grayson." _This was a mistake...this is stupid...why am I doing this? _Robin could feel his heart pounding in his throat.

"Master Dick?" the elderly man sounded surprised, "It has been a rather long time since you last called. In fact, I don't believe you have since the last time you visited Gotham, and that was-"

"Almost two years ago. I know," Robin interupted, "It's been...busy. I've been occupied with, you know, school and stuff."

"Ah yes. School and _stuff_," Alfred said, and Robin could almost see the wry grin on his face, "Yes, I've heard on the news that the education system out west is very...interesting. Out of curiosity, Master Dick, have you happened to see the Teen Titans out there? I've read that Jump City is their base of operations."

"I'll have to take your word on that Al," Robin muttered, "Listen, I need to talk to Bruce. It's really important."

"Certainly Master Dick."

"Wait-" Robin blurted, "Alfred?"

"Yes Master Dick?"

"I'm sorry...you know, that I completely lost touch," he ran a hand through his hair, "I probably seemed like some rebellious ingrate."

"Rebellious, perhaps," Alfred said gently, "But never ungrateful."

"Thanks Alfred," Robin breathed out in relief. Now he just had to get through talking to Bruce.

"One moment, and I'll put you through to Master Bruce." The phone clicked and Robin stood silently, dreading the moment when Bruce picked it up. After a few moments, he realized that there was soft music playing over the speaker. He snorted with laughter at the thought of Batman using pathetic elevator music to put people on hold. He was still laughing softly when the music stopped.

"Hello," Bruce's deep voice killed Robin's laughter quickly.

"Hi," Robin replied, trying desparately to sound calm and in control of the situation.

"Dick." Pressing his head into the cold plastic of the payphone, Robin shut his eyes tightly.

"Yeah, I-"

"You're using the precautionary measures I taught you?"

"Yes," Robin double checked to make sure the street was empty, "Yeah, I'm at that payphone, nobody's here, nobody followed me, I'm not wearing my uni-"

"Good," Bruce cut him off, "What do you want?" It had been four years since he'd left the mansion to gain some independence, tired of living in Batman's shadow, and formed the Titans. It had been nearly two years now since he'd last spoken to anybody from Gotham, and that was all the man who'd as good as raised him had to say.

"Nice to talk to you too Bruce," Robin snapped, angry at his mentor, "Wow, it sure has been a long time. We've got a lot of catching up to do."

"You're the one who left Gotham and never attempted to contact any of your old friends, Dick, not me," Bruce said calmly, "If you're going to pull the righteous teenage anger card, at least make sure it's justified."

"Nothing was stopping you from contacting me," Robin's voice began to rise in frustration, until he was practically shouting, "And I'm not pulling any _cards _Bruce. I'm almost twenty, I'm not a kid anymore."

"Lower your voice Dick," Bruce said stoically, "You'll wake the entire city."

"I don't have time for this-could you just...just listen to me for a minute?" Robin hissed in a low whisper.

"This is important to you," stated his mentor.

"Obviously it's important to me," Robin sighed, "To make me call after two years."

"Alright...I'm listening." And suddenly, Robin was pouring out the whole story, alarmed at how easy it was to confide in Bruce. The last time he'd been to Gotham, he hadn't left on the most..._friendly _of terms. He would never have expected to be in a dark street in the middle of the night, confessing all of his mistakes to Bruce over a payphone. Finishing off his story, he realized how much pressure had been lifted from him by telling his mentor.

"So basically, I've screwed up every time I possibly could have," Robin concluded, "And now Gar's gone, and the guy that's got him is insane, and we have no way of finding him or even knowing if he's better." He waited silently, waiting for Bruce to tell him that he was in over his head.

"Being a leader isn't easy Dick," came Bruce's reply after a moment's deliberation, "You have to be prepared to accept the consequences of all decisions, good or bad."

"I know, I let everybody down-"

"Let me finish."

"Ok," Robin gulped, switching the phone to his other ear, "Sorry."

"As I was saying," Bruce cleared his throat, "You have...you've done a good job over there. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes."

"Even you?"

"Almost everbody," Bruce continued, "So what are you going to do now?"

"I was hoping that Ora-er, Barbara would be able to find something on the guy," Robin rubbed his eyes, unused to having them unprotected, "But I don't know how to get ahold of her. I know she moved to Metropolis, but I don't know where..." He trailed off, realizing for the first time that Batman was fighting for Gotham on his own. _He's fine, _he told himself, _he was fighting crime in Gotham long before you came on the scene. And besides, Alfred's still there..._

"Yes, I'd imagine that Barbara will be able to help you locate Mr. Logan," Bruce interrupted his thoughts, "But will she be willing?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin stood straight abruptly.

"I was under the impression that the two of you exchanged...unpleasantries the last time you were here," Bruce said slowly. Shaking his head, Robin cursed himself inwardly for letting things get so bad between him and the rest of the 'bat family'.

"Yeah. She was mad because..." Robin paused, recollecting Barbara's fury at him when he told her he was staying in Jump City with the Titans, "Well, she was mad. But I'm sure she's over it by now..."

"I'm sure," Bruce muttered, then gave Robin the complex codes and passwords he'd need to contact Barbara as Oracle.

"Can't I just call her?" Robin groaned as he wrote them down on a post-it note, "With a normal phone number?"

"Not if you really want her services as Oracle," Bruce replied, "She's fairly strict about keeping her identity secret-something that I'm sure you would understand."

"Alright," Robin, fidgeting, kicked a lampost to release his pent up energy, "I guess I'll go back to...I'll go home and contact her from there. You gonna wish me luck?"

"You don't need it," Bruce's deep voice became deeper, became the voice of Batman, and then Robin was left listening dead air.

"Thanks Bats," he whispered softly as he hung up the payphone, and then he was gone, melded into the night.

* * *

"Hey Babs."

"Who is this?" Barbara Gordon's face loomed large on the Titans' communications screen.

"It's me," Robin, once more wearing his entire uniform save the mask, stepped into Barbara's feild of vision, "Robin...Dick...Grayson?"

"Oh," Barbara looked at him over her glasses with raised eyebrows, "Well in that case, goodnight and goodbye." She reached towards a button that Robin couldn't see.

"Barbara, wait!" Robin shouted, throwing his hands in the air, "Please, it took me twenty minutes to get through to you."

"It wouldn't have taken so long if you'd kept in touch," she snapped, but withdrew her hand.

"Yeah..." Robin grimaced, "About that...look, I'm sorry. I guess I just assumed that you wouldn't want to talk to me."

"Why would you assume that?" Barbara leaned back in her chair and looked at her fingernails, "What, did Starfire tell you we shouldn't talk to eachother?"

"Please Babs, don't do this to me," Robin rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't want to fight with you. I never did." Barbara's face softened a bit at these words.

"I know, Rob," she looked away from the screen, "I didn't either. It just-I was just so mad at you. For leaving. For coming back. And then...for choosing the Titans over us."

"It wasn't..." Robin began, shocked that she could ever think that, "It was never like that Babs. The Titans-they needed me. They're my team, I couldn't just abandon them. They're my family."

He saw that Barbara was about to protest to this, and swiftly cut her off, "You and Bruce and everybody back in Gotham are still my family too. And it's not that I like the Titans better, or that they've replaced you guys, or anything like that. It's just...this is where I belong right now, Babs. Can't you understand that?" Barbara stared at him for a few seconds, then smiled suddenly.

"I'd be a pretty big hypocrite if I couldn't," she grinned, indicating her Metropolis headquarters, "I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you didn't just call for a heartfelt apology? Although I hear you've been doing a lot of that tonight." Robin breathed a sigh of relief. That had gone a lot better than he'd expected. He'd walked away from their last meeting with the imprint of particularly sharp trophy on his forehead.

"Yeah, I talked to Alfred and Bru-," Robin stopped, startled, "Wait, how'd you know about that?"

"They don't call me Oracle for nothing, Rob," she gave him a wink, then teased, "So you made amends with Alfred, Bruce, and me, all in one night? That must have been emotionally draining for you."

"Yeah, I'm spent. I won't be able to have human contact for at least four days," Robin chuckled. It felt good to joke with Barbara again, even if she was teasing him for his Bat-like lack of social skills. The Titans might have thought him emotionally distant, but compared to Bruce, he was freaking Oprah Winfrey.

"So what's up?" Barbara leaned forward, hands poised to type on one of her numerous keyboards.

"One of my teammates-one of my friends, was taken this afternoon," Robin told her, his voice cracking slightly.

"Oh god Rob," she said, slightly taken aback, "Which one?"

"Beast Boy," Robin sat heavily in one of the many chairs in front of the giant screen, "Remember, he's the one-"

"Green skin, hair, eyes, shapeshifter, former member of the Doom Patrol. Real name, Garfield Logan," Barbara spouted off, smiling slightly at the look on Robin's face, "He came to Gotham with you, right?"

"Yeah," answered Robin, laughing softly at the memory, "But he was scared of Batman, so he spent most of the time hiding behind Cyborg."

"Yeah, I remember him," Barbara smiled again, recalling the exuberant youth who'd become timid whenever in the prescence of Batman, "He seemed like a nice kid. Do you know if he's alright? Who took him? Where he is?"

"We know who, and that's about it," Robin shrugged, "Doctor Samuel Register. Here, I'm sending you a file of everything we know so far. We don't know where he is, but we figure he's still alive. Probably for experimentation purposes, because-"

"He's got Sakutia, and Register's obsessed with it," Barbara interrupted him, "It's all over his file. He's been working with all aspects of the disease for twelve years now, since your friend got it. He was fired from S.T.A.R. Labs five years ago, and nobody's seen hide nor hair of him since."

"There's got to be something you can dig up on him," Robin pleaded, "Please?"

"Don't beg Dick, it doesn't suit you. Of course I'll look for him, you don't have to ask me," Barbara was distracted, reading over the file Robin had sent, "Wait a sec..."

"What?" Robin perked up in his chair.

"It says here that you saw Register leave the island on your security cameras," she said, flipping through the pages of the printout.

"Yeah," he replied, "I sent the video files, you can double check them if you want to."

"Who broke into the room then?" she asked him incredulously, "Did you send me the files of that perhaps?"

"Yeah," Robin was suddenly struck with his stupidity, "But it was too dark, you can't tell who it is on the video. We just assumed..."

"Well, you know what happens when you do that," Barbara remarked, "Anyways, the point is, Register had an accomplice. Or maybe he's just a pawn. Maybe this is bigger than some mad scientist complex."

"Slade," Robin muttered, pounding his fists together.

"Please," Barbara snorted with laughter, and Robin looked up at her indignantly, "That psycho's been out of the scene for over a year now. You're obsessed."

"I'm _not _obsessed...why does everybody say that?" he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. Realizing that he probably looked like a two year old having a temper tantrum, he promptly uncrossed his arms and sat up straight.

"Get some sleep, ok?" Barbara smiled at him, "I'll look into it, and I'll have some answers for you by morning."

"But I'm not ti-" he broke off in a huge yawn, betraying his exhaustion.

"I'll contact you guys, so you don't have to get through my security again," Barbara leaned forward to turn off the screen, then stopped, "Oh, and I'll send you your very own 'Oracle-link', so you can get ahold of me whenever you need to."

"Thanks Babs," Robin said through another yawn, "G'night."

"Good night Dick," she waved and then the screen turned black. Suddenly completely overcome by fatigue, Robin stumbled to the couch and flopped down on it. He was asleep before his head hit the cushions.

**Old and New.**

It was a rare occasion that somebody rose before Raven did, but this morning Starfire was restless and had woken long before even the slivers of light that preceded the arrival of the sun had begun to breach the horizon. Mind still reeling from the events of the previous day, unsure of what to do next, she found herself drifting gently into the communications center. Humming a terribly off-key Tamaranian festival song and strumming her fingers against her thigh, she seated herself on the edge of the couch.

"All the money?" Star had to hold back a small yelp when Robin's groggy voice pierced the silence. She looked to see him sprawled out across the couch, clothing and hair looking distinctly ruffled.

"What did you say Robin?" she whispered, crawling over the couch to sit beside him. He rolled over to lie on his back, and Starfire saw that he was sleeping, unmasked. Smiling softly to herself she lightly ran her fingers through his tousled hair. She'd seen him without a mask a few times before, but the sight still took her breath away. His lashes were long and thick, and she knew that when he opened his eyes, they would be a bright, dazzling blue.

Seeing that he'd placed his mask on the coffee table, she gently put it back on his face. All of the Titans had seen him at least once without it, but she knew that he felt more comfortable with it on.

"You spent it on a fork?" Robin slurred and rolled over again. Starfire had witnessed such behaiviour in humans before, but never had she heard Robin talking in his sleep. She had to smile, wondering what he could be dreaming about. Her thoughts were suddenly interuppted when the communications screen flashed on, and a familiar voice rang out from the speakers.

"Robin? Are you there?" Starfire recognized the voice as the Oracle, the woman she'd met briefly on her only trip to Gotham.

"Greetings Oracle," the young alien said stiffly, rising to stand in front of the screen. Oracle had never warmed to her, and Star wasn't so naive that she couldn't guess why Robin's old friends would be envious of the Titans-particularly her.

"Oh..." Oracle seemed slightly disappointed that Star had answered her, "Hello Starfire. Is Robin there?" Starfire could feel anger starting to boil inside her. Oracle and Batman had hurt Robin when they'd gone to Gotham, more than they could ever know. After the Titans had returned from their trip to meet Robin's mentor, Robin had retreated to his room for weeks, only slipping out in the inky black of night. None of the Titans knew or asked what he'd been doing those nights, opting to leave Robin alone to cope with the huge falling out he'd had with Batman and Oracle. And now, two years later, Oracle was calling them and expecting Robin to forgive her?

"Robin is asleep at the present time," Starfire's voice shook with anger, "What is it that you need to speak with him about?"

"That's not that surprising," Oracle smiled, "It was nearly five in the morning when I told him to go to sleep." Starfire could feel her eyes beginning to glow bright green at the thought of Oracle telling Robin to do anything.

"You..." she swallowed hard, "You spoke with Robin during the night?"

"Yeah, he called and asked me to help with-" Oracle, seeing the look on Starfire's face, stopped and sighed, "Listen Starfire...I know that there's some bad blood between us, and I know that it's mostly my fault. I acted like a...well, let's just say that I wasn't the nicest person to you when you came to Gotham."

"Um..." Starfire, flabbergasted by this unexpected apology, could think of nothing to say.

"You were nothing but nice to me, and I was just...as I said, not nice," Oracle paused and took a deep breath, as though what she was about to say would be extremely difficult, "And I'm...I'm really sorry about that." Starfire's anger had swiftly evaporated as Oracle spoke. On Tamaran, an apology was considered the greatest act of courage that anyone could do, and she knew that this was as true here as it was on her planet, even if the people here didn't acknowledge it.

"Glorious," she smiled up at the screen, "Think nothing of it. I am certain you had good reason to be upset with us. I do not think I would be kindly disposed towards the new friends of an old friend either. Perhaps, rather than having new and old friends, we could just have...friends?"

"Yeah," Oracle nodded, smiling, "I...yeah. Friends. My name's Barbara."

"And I am Koriand'r, daughter of Tamaran," Star smiled, pleased to return Barbara's gesture of confidence, "I am so very delighted that we can be-"

"Star?" a bleary-eyed Robin popped up from behind the couch, "Who's there?"

"It is my new friend Barbara," Starfire replied joyfully, glancing over her shoulder at him.

"Bar-Babs?" wide awake, Robin attempted to leap over the back of the couch, only to find himself sprawled out on the floor at Starfire's feet. He picked himself up and looked from one red head to the other, bracing himself for the explosive fight he was sure would ensue. Suddenly both girls burst out laughing, and he relaxed a little.

"Rob, you should have seen the look on your face," Babs gasped, laughing so hard that tears rolled down her face.

"Yes Robin, it was most amusing," Starfire giggled and promptly covered her mouth.

"As fun as it is being scared half to death," Robin grumbled, barely able to conceal the relief he felt that the two were getting along, "I'm assuming that you found something Barbara..." He trailed off, waiting for her to get ahold of her laughter.

"Yeah," she said finally, wiping tears from her eyes, "I found more than something. It wasn't that hard, once I got past the security."

"What did you find Barbara?" Starfire asked, obviously confused.

"I asked her to help us find out where Register took Beast Boy," Robin informed her, then turned back to Babs, "What did you find out?"

"Well, I didn't find out exactly where he would be," she leaned forward and looked at them over her glasses, "But I found out who took him. Well, not exactly who was the guy who actually physically took him from the tower, but I found out who the head of this whole sick operation is...and trust me, it is one _sick _operation."

"We already know that. Register's the one who wanted-" Robin stopped as Babs shook her head, "Who was it then?"

"You're never going to believe this Rob."

**

* * *

**

_Okay, okay...just-just calm down, _Beast Boy drew in a deep, shuddering breath, _And think. There's gotta be a way out of this. There always is._ Glancing around the room, he couldn't help but think that his optimism would prove fruitless. Shortly after awaking in Register's dingy facility, he'd been drugged and moved to what appeared to be a more financially sound operation. He was firmly strapped down on a cold metal table in the middle of a circular room. The dozens of machines around him were foreign and harsh, looming above him with ominous indifference. The ceiling was domed, and over a dozen bright lights illuminated the sterile room, stinging his eyes. Behind the tinted glass walls he could see dark figures moving, could feel them staring at him, could hear their whispers like a vicious wind. It was killing him, having to wait for what was coming, his mind jumping from bad to worse scenarios.

_Alright...I'm fine. At least the Sakutia is taken care of. I'm not going to die...from Sakutia. Being alive is better than being dead, right? I just need to think about this rationally. Rationally. Yes, I must be calm and collected, _he could feel himself starting to hyperventilate, and had to concentrate hard on breathing. To calm himself down, Beast Boy began reviewing his options. Register said he couldn't transform into animals, because of the black band around his wrist. He still didn't know what it did, and had no desire to find out._ It may stop me from changing, _he reasoned, _but it can't stop me from fighting my way out of here. _He had no doubt that he could take on a bunch of researchers and doctors, and even any security that they'd throw at him. He just wasn't sure if he'd be able to find his way out.

_Well, being lost in this building would still be better than being strapped down to this table_. Slowly, he began working at the straps that were holding him down. If there was one useful thing that Robin had taught him, it was how to escape a tight situation without being noticed.

After fifteen long minutes, Beast Boy had managed to free his wrists. Now...now he'd have to wait for somebody to come in so he could cause enough of a commotion to escape. Sighing, he attempted to entertain himself by counting backwards from one thousand. He got all the way to nine hundred and seventy eight, and abandoned the idea. Patience had never been his strong suit.

"Can I get some water?" he shouted towards the dark windows, "Or something?" There was no answer, no change in the movement of the figures behind the glass.

"I'm thirsty," he yelled, with more urgency, "I can't breathe!" No reaction. He'd have to call upon some of his long lost acting skills to get somebody in the room with him. He started coughing and gasping for air, throwing in some tears for good measure. Within minutes, three young men that Beast Boy assumed to be research assistants rushed into the room, one bearing water for him. One of them lifted Beast Boy's head up as the one with the water tipped the glass to his mouth. He hadn't realized how thirsty he actually was until the water hit his dry tongue.

"Is that better?" the assistant asked him when he'd drained the glass.

"Yeah, much better," Beast Boy slipped his hand out from the loose restraints and wiped his mouth, "Thanks." Before any of the white-coated assistants could realize what was happening, Beast Boy had slammed the water boy in the nose with the heel of his hand and undone the strap around his hips in one swift motion. He'd released his left foot from the straps before the other two came to their senses and tried to hold him down. He made short work of the first one by slamming the poor guy's head into the hard table. Twisting awkwardly around, he dropped the last one with a swift kick to the face with his free foot. The dark figures behind the glass were now in a frenzy. He'd managed to get their attention.

"Time to bail," he muttered as he unbuckled the strap holding down his right foot and hopped off of the table. It struck him as odd that nobody else had come into the room to try and stop him, but he shook off his apprehension and made his way to the door, prepared to fight.

"I wouldn't take another step if I were you Garfield," Register's voice boomed from the intercom that was placed somewhere on the ceiling. Beast Boy stopped dead in his tracks, the icy voice sending shivers up his spine.

"Sam! I've got to tell you, I was worried you hadn't come with me to this lovely facility," Beast Boy quipped, straightening and trying to see Register through the glass, "I was actually starting to miss you."

"Go back to the table and sit down Logan," Register hissed, his voice cracked and distorted through the intercom.

"Gonna have to go with a no on that one Sam," Beast Boy started towards the door again, "As much as I love our time together, I'd better get going. Robin can get pretty-" Beast Boy choked on the words, unable to finish his sentence. The black band on his wrist was melting, turning into liquid, and seeping into his skin. He desparately clawed at the thick black substance, but it just sank into the skin on his fingers. For a moment, it seemed as though that was all the wrist band would do, and he glared triumphantly at the dark glass and the vague figures behind it.

Then, slowly, deliberately, painfully, he _stopped_. Literally. Everything, every part of him slowed to a halt. His heartbeat became sluggish, until it was just barely beating. His breaths became shallow, and it felt as though the air he was breathing was made of molasses. Even his thoughts became difficult to process, like he was a five year old trying to understand Shakespeare. He could feel his organs coming to a standstill, his muscles relaxing and failing. He collapsed to his knees, shoulders sagging. There was pain, so much pain, but it was distant. It was a faded, muted kind of pain, almost like a memory. Everything was coming at him through a fog, and nothing quite reached him. He heard a door open, footsteps, but they came from far away. With a tremendous amount of effort, he rolled his eyes up to look at Register. With hazy vision, he saw Register kneel down to be at eye level with him.

"Do you know what's happening to you?" Registers voice echoed through Beast Boy's head, and he had to struggle to grasp the words as the doctor continued, "Do you know what a catalyst is?"

Beast Boy tried to answer. Yes, he did. He'd graduated, taken science classes. Hadn't he? He couldn't remember, nothing was working, nothing was right. He tried to tell Register this, but all that he could do was croak unintelligibly.

"Of course you don't," Register said, and the pleasantry in his voice scared Beast Boy more than anything he'd heard yet, "Catalysts speed chemical reactions. Without them, chemical reactions wouldn't occur, for the most part. The human body is remarkable, Garfeild. It has its own catalysts. Enzymes, they're called."

Through the haze, a single thought surfaced. All he could think was that he'd had a 4.0 in biology all through his high school correspondance, and that he hardly needed enzymes explained to him. He tried to tell Register this, but again couldn't produce more than a squeak.

"Hush boy, I'm trying to educate you," Register snapped, "The device that was on your wrist and is now in your bloodstream, I call the Inhibitor. It essentially prevents enzymes from doing their job, thereby stopping all chemical reactions in the body. If there aren't any chemical reactions in the body, nothing works. Your brain can't function, your blood can't bond to oxygen, your digestive organs can't absorb nutrients. Nothing. Now, in a normal person, that one wrist band would have been enough to kill them instantly. You, on the other hand...you're different." Something in the back of his mind told him that he should be saying something sarcastic to Register, but he couldn't think of anything.

"Because of the rapid chemical changes that occur when you change into a different species," Register continued, "You have approxiamately seventy five times the normal amount of enzymes in your body. You are still functioning. Barely-but your organs are still working enough to keep you alive." He held up a small control. Beast Boy could feel his head drooping, his neck unable to support it. Register grabbed a fistfull of his hair and yanked his head back up so he was looking at the control.

"This was just a warning Mr. Logan," he hissed, "I have enough of the Inhibitor material to kill even you. This control sends a signal to tell how much Inhibitor is released into your bloodstream. I can release enough to incapacitate you...or enough to end you completely." Register shoved him sharply backwards, and he could feel himself falling. Unable to stop himself, his head hit the metal floor with a sickening thud. Register stood and gestured at the figures behind the dark glass to come in. Beast Boy noted with some satisfaction that the three men he'd taken out were still unconcious.

Four new people had entered the room. Two of them grabbed Beast Boy roughly and dumped him back on the table, strapping him in tightly. The other two shoved what looked like a long knee-brace made from the Inhibitor material over his left knee. When they'd finished, the table began to tilt upwards until he was perpendicular to the floor. Coming to stand nose to nose with him, Register pressed a button on the control. As slowly as his body had stopped working, the Inhibitor worked its way out of his body.

It felt like he was being torn apart from the inside. Beast Boy writhed in agony as the black material came out of his skin in clumps, leaving behind small open wounds all over his body. When the process was finished, he was drenched in sweat. His heart was racing, his breath was coming in gasps, his muscles were quivering and his mind was still reeling from the pain, but anything was better than the foggy confusion of the Inhibitor.

"The strap on your knee there?" Register sneered, "It has enough of the Inhibitor to kill you instantly. So I wouldn't be trying any more escapes if I were you."

"And if _I_ were _you_," Beast Boy panted, as the table tilted back into a lying position "I wouldn't kill my research project."

"We can examine you just as well dead as alive," Register said thoughtfully, "I would prefer an unprotesting subject, but my...employer would rather you remained alive."

"Employer?" Beast Boy asked, trying to see if there was anybody else beyond the windows.

"Enough chit chat," Register said, resuming the sickeningly cheerful tone he'd had before, "Let's get to work." As the other four doctors hooked the young Titan up to machines he recognized were to measure brain waves, Register selected a scalpel from a pile of silver instruments. One of the doctors removed Beast Boy's shirt, exposing a chest riddled with scars from the last time he was in Register's possession.

"Wait," Beast Boy shouted, his heart jumping into his throat as Register turned towards him with a mad glint in his eyes, "Can I at least have a sedative?"

"Garfield," replied the doctor, "What would be the point in measuring your neural activity if you aren't awake?" With methodical precision, Register drew the scalpel along Beast Boy's chest from sternum to navel, leaving a thin trail of dark red blood. Shaking, Beast Boy bit his lip to keep from screaming. Through the tinted glass, he could see a single figure standing perfectly still.

"Your...ungh...employer?" Beast Boy gasped between waves of pain. Register smiled cruely and nodded.

"He is a very...determined man," Register spoke as he began blunt dissection of the incision, "And you are a very intriguing subject." With those words, he spread the incision apart and reached inside of it with two fingers.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Beast Boy screamed at the figure behind the glass, unable to hold it in any longer, "Who the hell are you?"

"His heartrate's climbing Dr.Register," said one of the doctors observing the machinery, "And his neural activity is extremely high. Maybe that's enough for today. We don't want him to go into shock." Beast Boy could hear somebody sobbing, and realized that it was him. He shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to see anymore. _Let me die. Please, just let me die, _he pleaded silently as the pain increased. _Raven...Raven, save me. _

"_Raven!_," Beast Boy's anguished cry rang throughout the room.

"Nobody's coming for you," Register said softly as he began to stitch up the incision, "Nobody."

**

* * *

**

_Raven...Raven, save me. _Raven woke with a start, Beast Boy's voice still ringing in her ears, his fire burning through her body, faint, but still there.

"Beast Boy," she whispered, throwing off her covers and racing towards the operations center. Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg were already there, sitting around the table.

"Raven, you have awaken from slumber," Starfire greeted her with her usual enthusiasm, "May the morning be good to you."

"We know who's behind this whole thing," Robin jumped in, eager to start planning a rescue mission.

"And I know where he is," Raven replied.

**

* * *

**

Beast Boy opened his eyes slowly, shielding them from the bright white light of the room he was in. It was different, smaller, with no windows. He was lying on his back on a soft bed, a large bandage wrapped around his torso. Looking at his wrist, he saw that the Inhibitor was still there. He could feel it on his knee too, waiting to destroy him. Trying to sit up, he was hit by a nauseating wave of pain in his abdomen. He wasn't sure which organs Register had been prodding earlier, but his entire body hurt like hell. Not to mention the pounding headache he had, which presumably had something to do with the tender lump on the back of his skull where he'd hit the floor.

He heard a buzzer go off, and then a voice came from an intercom that was similar to the one in the operating room.

"Good morning Garfield," said the oddly familiar voice.

"Who's there?" Beast Boy struggled to sit up and push himself to the wall, clutching his torso the whole time.

"I am the coordinator of this project and the owner of this facility," came the voice.

"You are one sick son of a-" Beast Boy growled, wincing against the pain.

"Language Garfield, language."

"Who are you? Why don't you show me your face?" Beast Boy shouted. There was a moment's silence, and then the door of the room slid open and a tall figure strode in.

"You?" Beast Boy drew in a sharp breath of shock, "Why?"

* * *

_Dun dun dun!! (that was very ominous and terrifying...what? It was.) _

_Okay, I'm giving myself another deadline...let's say two weeks. That shouldn't be a problem:D._

_-Liss_


	10. All Our Yesterdays

_Agh!! Please don't kill me!!! hides I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry one thousand times over!_

_Ok, I think we've established that I'm sorry for the REALLY long wait on this chapter. There's been a lot going down in my life lately, and I just couldn't find the time to work on it, but it's here now, so hopefully you guys don't hate me too much..._

_Thanks once again to everybody, I really appreciate that you take the time out of your lives to read You Save Me!! Much love to all! Hope you enjoy chapter ten!_

_So...yeah, I don't own Teen Titans any more than I did last chapter..._

_-Liss_

**Chapter Ten. All Our Yesterdays. **

"I've been here before," Raven said grimly, looking over the torn landscape stretched out before them, "But it wasn't anything like this. It was...beautiful." The rest of the Titans gazed doubtfully at the smog blackened city below.

"How long ago were you here Raven?" Cyborg squinted as a beam of sunlight pierced the smog, illuminating a grimy and decrepit Cape Town.

"Beast Boy showed it to me," she replied softly, "When I was in his mind."

"But what has that got to do with what's going on now?" Robin pondered quietly, frowning in concentration.

"What happened to this place?" Raven murmered, ignoring his question. It was almost physically painful being there, seeing the once dream-like city of Beast Boy's memories so utterly desolate and forlorn. The last time she'd been there (_But I've never really been here_, she felt the need to remind herself) she'd been laughing with Beast Boy, joking with him. She couldn't remember the last time she'd really let go like that, and couldn't help but remember what else Beast Boy had shown her in his mind, and what she'd shown him.

"Oil," Cyborg tore her from her reverie, pointing out the rigs that blotted the skyline, "Somebody went digging."

"These machines bring fossilized fuels to the surface of the earth?" Starfire asked the group, "What person benifits from this procedure?"

"One million dollars and the Batmobile says it's the same guy who's got Beast Boy," Robin said stoically, and began to descend the slope towards the city.

* * *

"_Go Beast Boy," Steve Dayton ordered over his shoulder as he fought off one of dozens of opponents, "Just GO, you're getting in the way!" _

"_No, I'm not leaving you guys alone here alone," Garfield Logan shouted, angry tears stinging in the corners of his eyes. He'd worked so hard to be here, to prove himself. To leave now would be...well, it was unthinkable. _

"_Then _do _something," Dayton roared at the young hero-in-training. Taking in a quick gulp of air, Beast Boy jumped into the fray, switching between human form and that of a small sparrow rapidly, fighting hand to hand and then swiftly flying out of harm's way. He'd fought many times before, but never like this, never when his life and the lives of others depended on what he did. He'd been a child prodigy, beating every challenger who came to King Tawaba seeking to prove themselves against the young genius, but this was different. There were so many enemies at once, and defeating him wasn't enough for them. They wouldn't stop until he and the rest of the Doom Patrol were dead. _

_Ten years old and less than a year from his escape from Register's lab, Garfield froze. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe. These people were going to kill him, or worse, capture him. All he could think of was to hide, to change into the smallest creature he knew, but he couldn't. His mind wasn't working. They closed in on him, brought him down with the force of dozens of blows. He could feel his own tiny ribs cracking under the pressure, breaking like twigs. Just when his vision started to become blurred with his own blood, he saw his tormentors being swept away by a giant hand. The same hand, as gentle with him as it had been vicious with his attackers, picked him up and lifted him above the battle. Confused, Garfield looked up into the enormous eyes of Rita Farr, and even as he did so, she shrank down and was holding his battered body in her arms. _

"_Steve, we have to go," she screamed over the noise, ducking quickly to avoid a punch to the face. Through hazy eyes Beast Boy saw that Mento was ignoring them, continuing to push through wave after wave of attackers. To their left he saw that Cliff and Larry had noticed them and were making their way towards where Rita had now put him softly on the floor and was staving off the oncoming enemies. _

_Lying on cold concrete, Gar watced as Cliff sent three people flying with one blow. He was having trouble breathing, each inhalation sending sharp pains through his body. There was blood gurgling in the back of his throat, and pooling beneath his body. Curling up in a ball he tried to take deep breaths, but they came out as short, rattling gasps. Cliff glanced over his shoulder at him quickly, and Beast Boy could see the concern in the mechanical eyes. _

"_Steve, we've gotta get out of here, _now._ The kid's hurt pretty bad," Cliff called across a sea of attackers, then said quietly to Rita, "Take the kid and go Rita. Larry and I'll cover you." As the four of them made their way towards the exit and the team's jet, Mento noticed their retreat. Swearing violently, he followed and jumped into the pilot's seat. As they took off, Rita lay Garfield gently across three of the seats, Larry and Cliff watching from a few paces back. _

"_Damnit Rita, I told you this was a bad idea," Steve shouted from the cockpit, "We had them, we could have beat them. The kid's not only useless-"_

"_Shut up Steve," Larry spoke mildly. Rita was using scissors from the on-board medical kit to cut Garfield's shirt away from his bruised torso. The green skin was almost black now, every square inch covered in vivid bruises. Beast Boy looked up to see tears threatening to spill over onto Rita's face. _

"_I...I'm sorry," he whispered raggedly, hot tears of shame streaming over his cheeks, "I r-ruin everything." Rita's eyes narrowed and flickered towards Steve, almost imperceptibly. _

"_No sweetie," she ran a cool hand through his hair, reminding the small boy of his dead mother, her expression softened, "No, it wasn't your fault. Everything's fine. You're going to be ok." She began to address the worst of his injuries, bandaging the cuts and applying ice packs to the worst of the bruises. _

"_He's right," Steve began maliciously, "He only gets in the way."_

"_That ain't true Steve," Cliff growled, then spoke to Garfield, "I saw ya before ya froze up kid, you were fightin' like a pro."_

"_Even so, if he's just going to freeze like a deer in the headlights, he's not much good to-"_

"_Stop it," Rita spoke quietly, fury seething though her voice, "We'll talk about this later. Right now we've just got to get Garfield to the Chief." The remainder of the trip was spent in silence, broken only by the occasional sharp intake of breath whenever Rita pressed too hard on one of Beast Boy's many injuries. _

* * *

"Ok, we're here," Cyborg scuffed his foot against the grimy street, "Now what?" He and Robin had climbed down the mountainside, the girls helping them over the most treacherous points of the path. They now stood on the edge of the city, coughing as the thickly polluted air caught in their throats. 

"We know he's being kept somewhere here," Robin replied, glancing around as though Beast Boy might jump out from behind one of the many garbage bins strewn along the side of the road, "Any ideas as to exactly where Raven?" The other three Titans looked at her expectantly.

"I can't tell," she shrugged, furious with herself for her inability to locate Beast Boy, "It's like there's something blocking me. I can't even still feel that he's here in Cape Town."

"How are we to know that he is still within this town of capes?" Starfire asked, politely pointing out the obvious. The only proof they had that Beast Boy was here was the brief, desperate cry for help that Raven had felt from him the previous day.

"I just...he is," Raven snapped. _He has to be,_ she added silently to herself. They had no way of knowing where he was if he'd been moved since yesterday, and this town was their only lead. She didn't know what they'd do if they couldn't find him here. Didn't even want to think abou t it.

"Guess we'll just have to look the old fashioned way," Cyborg quipped, and began to walk further into the city. The others stared after him for a few seconds, then hastily followed him, taking long strides to catch up.

After hours of wandering the streets, they'd found nothing. There wasn't a trace of Beast Boy, Register, or the organization that currently had thier friend. Frustrated by the lack of evidence, Robin stopped suddenly and kicked the nearest garbage can as hard as he could, sending it clattering across the alley they were in.

"Where the hell is he?" he raged, kicking another can, "I know we're close, I can feel it. Agh, I _hate _this." Raven, Cyborg, and Starfire stared at him blankly, surprised by his sudden outburst.

"Calm down Robin," Raven said in her dull monotone, trying hard not to betray her own frustration with the situation, "Wrecking things isn't going to help us find the people who have Beast Boy." Robin opened his mouth to reply, but they never found out what he was going to say. Before any of them could react, they'd all been grabbed from behind, bound, and had bags thrown over their heads. Raven had been gagged, and Starfire's eyes were covered with a reflective metal that she wisely chose not to test her starbolts against.

"I'm gonna go ahead and guess that they just found us," came Cyborg's muffled voice.

* * *

"_Three broken ribs, mild concussion, lacerations, severe bruising, and internal bleeding in several locations," Dr. Niles Caulder, better known to the Doom Patrol as simply the Chief, informed Beast Boy after he woke from surgery, "I had to operate to stop the bleeding, but you'll be fine."_

"_Feels like I got run over by a moving truck," the small green form moaned theatrically, tenderly prodding the stitches where the incision had been made. _

"_Which isn't all that unexpected," Caulder laughed good-naturedly, looking down at the boy from his wheel chair, "You took a sound beating back there. At least we know now that you can take a hit, if nothing else." Beast Boy was silent for several minutes after that, eyes downcast, avoiding looking at the Chief. He'd suffered far worse injuries than this under Register's care, Caulder knew, so the pain couldn't be what was really bothering him. _

"_What's on your mind son?" he asked kindly, wheeling his chair closer to the young changeling's bed. Garfield shrugged noncommitally, and was silent for another moment. When he finally did look up at him, Caulder was surprised to see that the boy was fighting back tears._

"_I-I'm useless," he sniffed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and turning his eyes upwards, determined not to cry in front of the Chief._

"_Whatever gave you that idea?" the older man chuckled. Beast Boy looked at him disbelievingly._

"_You saw what happened back there," he sat up to meet the Chief's eyes, moving too quickly for his recovering body, and winced in pain, "I froze. I-"_

"_It happens to everybody from time to time, I imagine," the Chief interuppted, now staring intently at the boy. When the Doom Patrol had found him on the street begging for money, he'd been on the run, hiding from one Samuel Register. He'd still been healing from the most recent experiments done on him, and remnants of horrible torture remained scarred permanently onto his body. Timid at first, and then bitter and hateful towards everybody, it had taken a long time to coax out the boy's story. Rita's heart had gone out the the child, and she'd taken it upon herself to bring him out of his shell. Now, less than a year later, the Beast Boy they all knew and loved was a funny, bright, engaging boy, full of laughter and a better fighter than any they had seen before. Still only able to transform into small animals, Beast Boy worked on his hand to hand combat daily, practicing for hours on end. This had been his first mission, and he'd performed admirably, especially for a boy his age. _

"_I shouldn't even be here," Garfield said now, his voice cracking as he put to words his greatest fear, "You-you probably don't even w-want me on the team anymore."_

"_Listen to me Garfield," the Chief became stern, "You have an incredible gift. You were born with the ability to fight, to fight like nobody I've ever seen in my life. Then, nature blessed you with this power, the power to turn into any animal you want." He put a hand up to stop Beast Boy, who'd been about to point out that he could only change into small creatures. _

"_I know what you're about to say, but I believe that you will grow stronger over time," Caulder smiled at the young boy, "Garfield Logan, you are the most important and vital member of my Doom Patrol." Beast Boy stared at the doctor, flabbergasted, unable to say anything more than a single word._

"_Why?"_

* * *

"Because you are perfect Garfield," Niles Caulder stood tall above Beast Boy's bed, a demented grin spreading across his face, so different from the smile he'd given the ten-year-old Garfield so long ago, "I have...so much to learn from you." Beast Boy stared up at him, completely stupefied by the sight of the man before him. He knew that the Chief had left the Doom Patrol some time ago, but hadn't heard where he'd taken up residence. The last time he'd seen Caulder the man had been wheelchair bound, but now he stood tall at the foot of the bed. 

"Ooookay then," Beast Boy swung his legs over the side of the bed, supressing the gasp of pain that threatened to escape him at the sudden movement, "Congratulations on...you know, walking and all. I'm just gonna-" he moved to stand, but stopped dead at the look on Caulder's face. The twisted grin was still plastered across his face, and his eyes glinted greedily.

"Walking. Yes Garfield, that was a feat," the Chief laughed maniacally, "Rita Farr's regenerative tendencies came in handy in helping me towards that particular goal." Beast Boy's heart skipped a beat.

"What did you do to her?" he asked softly, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.

"Not a thing Garfield. She's still with the rest of the Doom Patrol, saving the world one villain at a time," Caulder replied, "I learned all I needed to learn from her during my time as the leader of the Doom Patrol." Beast Boy let out a breath of relief.

"So what do you want with me?" he shut his eyes, willing the throbbing in his temples to cease.

"You are the perfect specimen Garfield," the doctor answered, eyes flashing, "I suspected it from the first time I saw you. I watched you grow, watched you flourish. I was right, you were incredible. As time went on you were able to manipulate your DNA further and further, until you could change into even long extinct species. With your powers I will finally finish my project, and the world will thank me for it."

"You-" Beast Boy stopped, snorting with laughter, "You're insane. Completely mental." He continued to shake with uncontrollable laughter, wishing he could stop because it hurt like hell. "The only reason I am the way I am is because of a fatal disease. Nobody's going to thank you for infecting them with Sakutia. They'll be way too dead."

"I know that boy," Caulder snapped, angry for the first time, "That's why I hired Register. His experiments are crucial to the success of this project."

"What project?" Beast Boy had stopped laughing now, eager to discover what Caulder was doing at the facility.

"It doesn't matter. You'll be...how did you so eloquently put it? Ah yes, _way too dead _to see the finished product," Caulder sneered viciously, "But I can give you the satisfaction of knowing that you are one of the final pieces of the puzzle. Soon. Soon it will be ready."

"Fine, don't tell me," Beast Boy leaned back against the wall in an attempt to appear unfazed, then muttered lowly, "You and Register are perfect for each other. You're both total head cases."

"Yes," Caulder spoke thoughtfully, "Register's involvement is regrettable but necessary. He knows more about you than anybody in the world."

"That's not true," Beast Boy stood so fast that Caulder stepped back, surprised. Ignoring the dull pain that was throbbing through his veins, the small green Titan advanced on the bigger man, "My friends know more about me than any of you _ever _will. They're probably on their way here to kick your ass right now." Beast Boy didn't know how he'd expected Caulder to react to this statement, but he certainly hadn't expected the man to burst into laughter.

"Why, my dear boy, they're here already," the doctor lauged jovially, "We've got them comfortably waiting in the living quarters of the facility."

"_No_," Beast Boy spoke through clenched teeth. Forgetting the Inhibitor material around his wrist and knee, he swiftly transformed into a tiger, ready to attack Caulder, for the first time in his life wanting to kill somebody.

"Ah ah ah Garfield," Caulder tutted, pressing a button on a small remote he'd concealed in his palm, "Stupid you are not. So why did you transform knowing that I can kill you in an instant?" Beast Boy couldn't answer, couldn't change back to human form. The familiar feeling of the Inhibitor material running through his veins made him sluggish, stupid. It wasn't as much as when Register'd used it. Only a small portion of the band around his wrist had gone into his bloodstream, but it was enough to stop him in his tracks and cause him to collapse to the ground.

"Let's go see your friends," came Caulder's voice from somewhere far above him.

**What Wrongs We Suffer.**

Raven winced when the bag was torn away from her face, eyes unaccustomed to the bright fluorescent light that illuminated the room they were in. As her eyes adjusted, she saw that it seemed to be an observation room. The wall in front of them was made of glass. Through it, she saw a circular operating room, bare except for one table in the middle which was surrounded by medical equipment. Looking to her right, she saw that the bags had been removed from Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire as well. She noticed that the other people in the room made no move to take off her gag or Star's blindfold.

"Welcome Titans," boomed the voice of Dr. Samuel Register over an intercom. They all straightened their backs without noticing, ears perked.

"Where's Beast Boy?" Robin shouted, straining against his bonds. The other three began to do the same.

"Easy children, you'll see him soon enough," Register said scornfully. The Titans looked at eachother incredulously.

"We...we will?" Cyborg asked, hardly daring to believe that it could be so easy.

"Certainly," Register drawled arrogantly, "But for his sake I suggest that you do not struggle.It would end...badly." The Titans stopped trying to free themselves instantaneously, terrified at the thought of causing Beast Boy to be hurt.

"But how am I to see my friend if I cannot see anything at all?" Starfire asked, on the verge of tears.

"How about a peace offering?" Register's voice came after a moment, "We'll take the blindfold off of the alien. But if she so much as shoots an ant, that freak friend of yours dies." Anger flared up inside of Raven like a tidal wave, threatening to engulf her. _Calm down, calm down, you're no good to anybody like that_, she told herself as Star's blindfold was ripped away from her eyes. Register wasn't a complete idiot though, and Raven's gag remained where it was.

They heard the sound of a door opening in the operating room below them and saw Register enter the room, prepped for surgery. Moments later, five assistants came in after him dragging, to the Titan's horror, the prone form of a huge green tiger.

"Beast Boy?" Starfire whispered, a tear slipping down her face.

"Hey wait," Cyborg brightened suddenly, "Does that mean that the Sakutia's better? If he can change?" His happiness ended quickly as the tiger was thrown unceremoniously onto the floor, landing with a sickening thud. Raven felt the anger welling up once more, but didn't move.

"What is wrong with him?" Star asked, confused by their friend's behaiviour. They could see that the tiger was awake, but his movements were jerky and slow, as though he was fighting sleep. Raven stared at Beast Boy, watched as he struggled to lift his head, rage threatening to consume her.

"Beast Boy," Starfire cried out to him loudly. He gave no sign of hearing them.

"I don't think he can see or hear us Starfire," Robin gazed intently at the window separating them from Beast Boy, "Soundproof walls. We can hear him through the intercom, but he can't hear us. One way glass. All he can see is a bunch of shadows."

_Gar, we're here_, Raven projected desperately, hoping against hope that he'd somehow hear her.

* * *

Beast Boy tried to growl at Register as he paced around him, but no sound came out. After a few minutes, Register leaned over and whispered into his ear. 

"Your friends are here. Behind the glass. We _will _kill them for interfering. And then we'll kill you," Register paused for a moment, "After we're finished with you." Something inside him snapped then. He was more angry than he'd ever been in his life. Years of torture came flooding back to him, the years he missed with his parents burned inside of him with an ache that was so bad it physically hurt him. Register had taken years of his life, had ripped the only family he had away from him. There was no way he was going to let the sick bastard touch his friends, the new family he'd made for himself. Calling upon a strength he didn't know he had, Beast Boy began to change.

It was painfully slow, it was arduous, completely unlike the swift transformations he usually made, but he was changing. Fur melted back into smooth green skin, claws retracted into scarred hands, spinal cord shortened as the tail disappeared. Through the fog of the Inhibitor, he could hear Caulder shouting something.

"-alone Register, see if he can complete the transformation." Beast Boy saw Register nod curtly towards the Chief. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he was himself again. He tried to call out to his friends, tell them to run, to get away, leave him, but found that he couldn't make a sound. Register saw him trying to speak and grabbed him from behind, covering his mouth with a hand. Beast Boy didn't put up a fight as Register dragged him roughly to the operating table and strapped him in.

"Don't say a word," Register hissed softly, "Or they all die."

"Are you ready for the show Titans?" he called to the shadowy figures behind the glass. Was that red light-could it be Cyborg's mechanical eye? Or was it just some machine behind the window? Beast Boy stared at the point of light, comforted by the fact that it may have been his best friend.

* * *

The four bound Titans watched in horror as Beast Boy completed his agonizingly slow transformation, powerless to help him. As he resumed human form, they saw what had already been done to him. He remained sprawled out on the floor, seemingly unable to stand, or even to lift his head after the tremendous effort of reverting to his human form. Raven noted the small cuts that covered his skin, wondering what had caused them. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark rings around them, and his hair was plastered with sweat. A long line of blood stained the bandages that were wrapped around his torso, and he was wearing a black wristband and knee brace. 

"What are those?" Robin muttered, speaking of the wristband and knee brace. Starfire was completely silent, tears streaming unabashedly down her cheeks, as Register strapped an unresisting Beast Boy to the operating table.

"He's got some kind of remote," Cyborg said, squinting to see better, "But what's he going to use it for?" Not wanting to wait and find out, the large metal Titan began doing what scans he could from such a distance on the small device.

"Are you ready for the show Titans?" Register called out suddenly, holding up the remote. Cyborg kept his gaze steadily fixed on the remote, until something else caught his eye.

"Guys," he whispered urgently, not taking his eyes off of his friend, "B can see me...or at least my one eye. He knows where-" he was cut short by the terrible sight of their small green teammate writhing in pain on the table. Register had pushed one of the buttons on the remote, and was now watching the process with glee.

"What's going on?" Robin asked urgently, turning to Cyborg. His question was answered by Register.

"I suppose you are wondering what's happening," he turned towards the window, indicating the small black specks that were working their way out of Beast Boy's body, causing him so much pain, "This black material on Garfield's wrist and knee is...well, you wouldn't understand. Let's just say that there's enough of that on him to stop him from running away...or to stop his organs from functioning completely. That was the removal process of the Inhibitor material, as I like to call it." Beast Boy lay still now, shaking, soaked completely in sweat.

"Cy," Robin whispered next to Cyborg, "Can you jam the signal from that remote? We can fight our way out of here with Beast Boy, we just have to make sure they can't use that thing on him."

"I'm on it," Cyborg had already began analyzing the radio waves coming from the device.

"Hurry," Robin kept his voice low so only Cy could hear him, "I don't know what they'll do to him next." Stafire, completely unaware of the on between the two, stared at Beast Boy. As she watched, memories she'd tried so hard to suppress came flooding back to her, causing her hands to shake, the very blood in her veins to boil with irrepressable fury. She saw one of the assistants hand Register a small knife. She could feel her eyes beginning to glow and closed them for fear of one of the scientists seeing her anger and bringing harm to Beast Boy. Raven could see her out of the corner of her eye, but she had her own problems to worry about. Beast Boy's life depended on them being calm as they watched him being experimented upon. It wasn't easy.

As another assistant unwound the bandages around Beast Boy's torso, revealing a long incision that had been made recently, Raven felt another surge of rage. The things she wanted to do the man who had harmed Beast Boy...

_The things I will do,_ she added to herself, then pushed the thought away. She couldn't let _that _out..._I'll kill him. And he will suffer before he dies_. Mortified, Raven took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to let go of her anger. _He will beg to die...he will wish he did not exist before the end...he will-_

"Raven," Robin hissed at her quietly so the two guards wouldn't hear and she opened her eyes, grateful that nobody could read her mind, "Can you use your powers?" Raven nodded. It was easier to focus her powers when she chanted her mantra, but she could use them almost as effectively without speaking a word.

"Ok...alright, on my signal, use them to free the four of us," seeing the look on Raven's face, Robin continued, "Don't worry, we have a plan. Just trust me. These guards shouldn't be a problem. Cyborg and Star can take them out." Raven arched her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders, hoping that Robin would be able to decipher her unspoken question.

"Then, you break the window, grab Beast Boy, and we high-tail it out of here," Robin grinned, answering her easily, "When I say go?" Raven nodded, ready to do something to get Beast Boy away from that terrible place. Through the window, they could see that Register was preparing to cut into the green Titan's chest, right above the heart.

"Go!" Robin cried suddenly, unwilling to wait until the incision was made. Raven didn't hesitate and dark energy surrounded their bonds, shattering them. Starfire and Cyborg turned around quickly and made short work of the guards as Raven ripped off her gag.

"The window," Robin reminded her unnecissarily. Before the words were out of his mouth, the window had crumbled into dust, crushed beyond repair by dark energy. Register and his assistants looked up, shocked. As soon as the doctor realized what was going on, an expression of pure hatred distorted his features.

"Run," Beast Boy paled at the sight of them, his throat wrenching as he shouted, "Get the hell outta here!"

"Stand down," Register screamed, flecks of saliva flying out of his mouth, and raised the remote that controlled the Inhibitor, "I'll kill him, I swear!"

"Not this time pal," Cyborg shouted, blasting the doctor with his sonic canon and sending him flying backwards. Raven rushed to the operating table, shoving aside the assistants with a wave of her hand.

"Rae?" Beast Boy muttered, grinning up at her, "You-"

"Yeah," she smiled slightly as she loosened his straps, "I heard you call."

"What about-"

"Escape now, talk later," Raven said as he sat up gingerly. More people were streaming into the room, surrounding them. Cyborg, Robin, and Star were managing to hold them off, but they could only do that for so long because of the sheer number of opponents. "Can you walk?"

"Of course I can walk," Beast Boy grumbled, irritated at the thought of being an invalid. Swinging his feet off of the bed, he jumped down, stumbling head first to the floor as he landed. Moving quickly, Raven put a hand out to catch him, then eased him down to the ground.

"As much as I'm enjoying this," Cyborg shouted to them as he knocked out a guy who'd been about to shoot Robin with a tranquilizer, "I think we've worn out our invitation."

"Come to me," Raven shouted over the din. The other three heard and hastily retreated to the operating table, fighting back attackers the whole time.

"_Azarath Metreon Zinthos,_" Raven cried, and they were gone.


End file.
